Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed by "I need a favour but have to ask you face to face"

953 replies

Eastie77 · 06/04/2016 18:35

I think IABU but anyway...it's annoying me.

A relative sent me a text message stating she needs to pop round and ask me for a favour. It has to be this week and she asked when I'm free. I have a really busy week with various bits and bobs arranged for the kids, appointments etc. I replied the only times that are convenient would be this evening or early Saturday morning before we leave on a weekend break with the kids. I asked if she could give me a call to discuss the favour. She just replied "Ok see you Saturday". I asked again re. the call and she said no, she has to ask me face to face.

I hate this cloak and dagger shit. Just tell me what you need! If it's something awkward I'd rather she asked over the phone tbh. She lives about 40mins away on the bus (doesn't drive) and I mentioned we will be leaving early on Saturday and she'll have to get up early to get here. As this didn't dissuade her I'm guessing it's something important but what and why can't she ask over the phone?? I am not close to this relative btw.

I will feel bad if it's something 'serious' but at the moment I'm just pissed off as we will be sitting around waiting for her to get here on Saturday before we have to set off on a longish drive.

Anyway. Rant over.

OP posts:
FuriousFate · 06/04/2016 18:38

Hmm, I'd be inclined to have a change of plan and say that you can't fit her in this week after all. If she wants whatever it is badly enough, she'll ask over the 'phone.

Unless she wants to jump in the car and come with you on your holiday?!

DoesAnyoneReadTheseThings · 06/04/2016 18:38

It's probably some pyramid scheme bullshit like juice plus or forever living, for some r lesson they luuuuuurve talking face to face!

DoesAnyoneReadTheseThings · 06/04/2016 18:38

Reason not r lesson!

thenewaveragebear1983 · 06/04/2016 18:40

I was just going to come on and say it's probably forever living does. Either that or she wants to borrow money?

AyeAmarok · 06/04/2016 18:41

Oh that's so annoying. I wouldn't appreciate that, no.

Can you text her "Why does it have to be fave to face? You're getting me worried that something serious has happened" and see what she says?

If it's to pit pressure on you in person, then I'd be even more annoyed!

StealthPolarBear · 06/04/2016 18:41

How odd? Has she done stuff like this before?

PPie10 · 06/04/2016 18:42

She's going to spring something on you, and you will feel guilty to say no - that's my guess.

LunaLunaLovegood · 06/04/2016 18:42

I would ask her, is she trying to break some bad news to me - if she is ill or going bankrupt or something I would just like to know sooner rather than later by any method.

If she says no to the above I'd ask if it is something like Forever Living or Utility Warehouse because it will be an automatic no so don't bother asking,

Other than that, maybe she wants you to be a bridesmaid or a godparent as that is usually something people want to ask face to face.

OR she wants you to go on Jeremy Kyle and have a DNA test and open a family can of worms with her.

Delacroix · 06/04/2016 18:42

I agree, cloak and dagger shit. She's increasing the mystery because a) it's super important, like she wants a kidney, or b) it's super unimportant but she wants it to seem more so. Also she thinks you'll be less likely to say no when she's made such a big song and dance about it. Like you're Don Corleone and she is making a great effort to ask you a favour on the day of your daughter's wedding :p

Maybe you should just ring them now and head them off at the pass. They'll feel a right wanker actually having to say out loud "Oh, no, I need to ask you in person." Unless it's a marriage proposal... no they don't.

DartmoorDoughnut · 06/04/2016 18:43

I'd change the day, she'll make you late!

ClashCityRocker · 06/04/2016 18:43

If she wants to ask you face to face I suspect it's because she'll know you're more likely to say yes if you're put on the spot.

I'd ring and say on second thoughts, it's going to be pretty hectic Saturday morning so just tell me over the phone.

WhoTheFuckIsSimon · 06/04/2016 18:45

Has she got form for wanting to borrow money?

Must be something importsnt for her her to makes the bus journey and she thinks she has more chance of guilting you into doing it face to face so somethings her knows you won't be keen on doing

PotteringAlong · 06/04/2016 18:47

I agree. Ring now and ask her

AyeAmarok · 06/04/2016 18:48

I'd ring and say on second thoughts, it's going to be pretty hectic Saturday morning so just tell me over the phone.

Yes, this is good. I'd add "otherwise it's a no" but then I have no patience with this sort of shit.

Reminds me of a friend who used to say "Guess who I spoke to today", "No guess", "I'm not telling you until you guess" and I ended up saying "either tell me or don't, I don't care".

zoomtothespoon · 06/04/2016 18:48

She def wants to 'practice pitching' her pyramid scheme she's joined to you and get you to join. It's all scripted! Check out the bot watch threads in money matters

EverySongbirdSays · 06/04/2016 18:50

Been in this sort of scenario.

In my case it was that I'd been told some dreadful gossip that was being spread about my friend by her ex.

I wanted to tell her in person or on the phone but she insisted and made me tell her by text, as such it went really badly and got a bit shoot the messenger.

It could just be sensisitive

Delacroix · 06/04/2016 18:51

Forever Living :D Oh god, let it be this.

Caffeinator · 06/04/2016 18:52

Yanbu. That would make me extremely likely to say no to whatever it is.

AyeAmarok that reminded me of this;

EverySongbirdSays · 06/04/2016 18:53

I hear MNetters refer to Forever Living ALL THE TIME and I still don't know what it is.

Mouseinahole · 06/04/2016 18:54

Can you not pop over to hers this evening?

Delacroix · 06/04/2016 18:55

It's some sort of juice guff that makes its sellers money only if they recruit other sellers. Pyramid scheme. Many people have one or two on their Facebook feed banging on about how lifechangingly amazing it is. No one ever seems to buy any though...

BastardGoDarkly · 06/04/2016 18:57

Nah, I'd text and say, Saturday's not really going to work now, we're leaving earlier.

Then leave it up to her, whatever it is, it's going to be a pita!

Daffodil90 · 06/04/2016 19:00

Forever living is the one with creams and held and stuff made from aloe Vera. I was given some once - it's nothing special.

This situation would do my nut in. Do let us know what it is in the end!

AyeAmarok · 06/04/2016 19:03

Caffeinator Oh God Grin It was very like that! The accents and everything!

Sunnybitch · 06/04/2016 19:05

Op you better update this and tell us what it is