I think my husband's drinking is getting out of hand...

[LovelyBath]

He drank three bottles of red wine last night. I noticed the amount, as in the last month or two I have stopped drinking at all.

I think it is too much. He went to the shop late in the evening to get the third bottle. This concerns me.

If he his, what can I do? It is his responsibility, not mine. But I don't want him to make himself ill. He doesn't do this every night by the way. Mainly at the weekends.

Right- the article says Methotrexate should not be prescribed to those who abuse alcohol and although patients on the drug can drink, they have to stay well within safe limits as it can increase the problem of med-related liver damage.

I have left this with a note on his desk and the appropriate stuff underlined. The note says I've printed it off as I didn't know if his clinic had made him aware of this and that I don't want him to get sick.

If things don't improve in coming weeks and months I will go to the GP and tell her.

I'm also going to continue to be teetotal and say to him each time he is drunk it is upsetting and worrying to me. So he sees how it is affecting those around him, too.

Fair thanks for the comments i will ask those things x

Does he ever take the DCs out in the car?

In your shoes I would go and see the GP on the quiet. If he is having regular blood tests then they have a good reason to call him in and run a full battery of tests.

3 bottles of wine is a heck of a lot. More to the point it indicates regular heavy consumption if he can function [not face down dribbling] after that much booze even if he is 6ft plus. Someone who only squares away 3 bottles of wine in a week in one sitting is imo not going to have the tolerance for it unless it's been consumed very gradually over the whole day.

The meds give it an entirely new slant though. Speak to his doctor and then take your own steps. Other ways to distress and wind down for example.

Hello

My hubby says his wine is his stress relief. Has a heart condition so only drinks red wine now. Used to drink a 1lt of Bacardi a week, but thank fully that has stopped. Now drinks a bottle of 13% a night. Usually has a glass full left in bottle so it looks like he has not has the lot. Then drinks that the next day with another 3/4 of a bottle so technically a bottle a night.

Only annoys me if children are ill and I think what if we had to go to hospital or something. I think 1 bottle a night is too much as its every night.

Your husband might be alcohol dependant as my hubby looks at clock before drinks which amuses me no end.

Incidentally I rarely have alcohol as it affects my sleep. I'm naturally a deep sleeper and the quality is not so good after a few!

Thinking of you

People sometimes have this strange attitude to vodka. They think it's a 'clean' spirit which isn't likely to damage them in the same way as something else.

Yes - thinking of the OP as well. It's an almost impossible situation to be in.

Clock-watching is ...... not so good, ohh.

Good luck, OP. My DH is an alcoholic. Caught him last night drinking tequila straight from the bottle. I really thought he had been moderating. This is the third time in 2 years that we are at this point. He says it is his only pleasure in life and he has no plans to stop or cut down.

I have two teenage DDs. They knit, they hate it and he does not care. Alcoholics only care about the drink. If this is where your DH is heading then you may have no choice but to leave. I am seriously considering it. The only thing I am glad of is that DH does not drive.

3 bottles of wine is an insane amount.

Yes clock watching is...I have even been know to change the clocks in the house but he's better now. Had a shock medically which helped.

Ironically he can stop just like that for a few weeks so not necessarily a drunk just like is too much. Which is tounge in cheek.

Remember, OP, that if he's caught driving while over the limit, it could impact severely on both licence and insurance. (And he wouldn't need to seemingly be 'at fault' in any incident - in the first instance - for such tests to be carried out.)

Have a look at this website, it's helpful and informative and is about how YOU cope www.bottled-up.com/

Be careful, ooh. Clock watching can imply dependency - a sort of 'I can make it to X o'clock because then I can have [substance]'.

OP - your whole take on the situation seems to come from concern for him - his physical and mental health, the understanding of the amount of stress he is under, etc.

You are not being judgemental, and you don't see yourself as a victim. I think that makes it a lot easier to have an honest conversation with him. You really seem primarily concerned with what is best for him, and that would shine through when you discuss it.

I think would be very helpful to find out what he thinks is the situation with regards to his drinking, rather than to guess.

Good luck.

There is no way your husband thinks 3 bottles is normal or safe. Everyone knows roughly what the guidelines are and the consequences of alcohol abuse. So sadly pointing out the dangers probably won't help. Can you maybe try to explore ways in which you can support him to manage his stress in other ways?

They may know 'intellectually', Join, but they seem to park it somewhere while they're drinking - become an 'I can handle it even though others may not be able to........'

By the way, Lovely - it can be done. I've had two close members of my family circle who both gave up booze completely after being exceptionally heavy drinkers.

I think that you may have to recognise that it might necessitate some work on your relationship, though. Have you ever know him for an extended period without that overlay?

If things don't improve in coming weeks and months I will go to the GP and tell her.

Please don't leave it for months. With the damage he's doing to himself, he may not have months available. If he's not able to cut down drastically within the next two weeks you need to get to the GP.

Quite. In fact, I'd make an immediate cessation/serious cut-down an imperative. If he's dependent, he'll try to 'buy time' with regard to eg ends of months, 'going on holiday' etc etc. If he's not dependent, why not start right away?

PS - but I'm afraid that I think you need to talk about it with him. (And probably your whole relationship/family situation at that.)

It is a huge amount to drink in one go. I presume that he has only recently started drinking such large amounts though as if not it would probably have shown up on his liver function tests and they would have stopped prescribing them for him by now.
Whilst you obviously need to talk to him about this and try to persuade him to stop or cut down on alcohol, I'm not sure that going to see the GP will help. I personally would be furious if my DH went to my doctor to should they shouldn't prescribe me the drug I take for my health condition because they felt I was drinking too much. Also, they can't talk to you about him without his permission and I presume he won't give this. If he is drinking too much it will show up the next time they do liver function test.

them methotrexate

They may not specifically have done one, I fear. Surgeries can be astonishingly complaisant where they think they know their clients. And can also overlook things at times.

If it's of any use at all, neither of the two dependent people I mentioned would have responded well to 'talking' about their issues. They both decided to change for themselves.

I suspect that there are deeper issues to discuss, Lovely.