I think my husband's drinking is getting out of hand...

[LovelyBath]

He drank three bottles of red wine last night. I noticed the amount, as in the last month or two I have stopped drinking at all.

I think it is too much. He went to the shop late in the evening to get the third bottle. This concerns me.

If he his, what can I do? It is his responsibility, not mine. But I don't want him to make himself ill. He doesn't do this every night by the way. Mainly at the weekends.

Thank you all

The detoxing was the worst 2 weeks of my life - or so I thought - till 8mths later and he killed his self

The pull of booze was too strong plus suffered severe depression

Looking back I should have seen the signs with booze - knew about the depression and was on antid's

When happy life was amazing. When he had a black depressive Spell he was so sad :(

Many of you won't understand this but I was happy he was dead as knew he wasn't in pain anymore. Obv wasn't happy for me but meant no more darkness for dh

Depression is awful and often goes hand in hand with drinking

Finding him dead shattered my world. We have been together 19yrs and in hindsight he always liked booze but was the 4/5yrs before he died and after he saw his dad again after 15yrs at his nans funeral that he started to drink more

Think as he functioned so well on it myself and others didn't reliese how much he drunk

Starts off small

Either drink every night - only one then more and more (often not infront of me hence why didn't know how much he was drinking) or bingeing at weekends

Anyone who feels their loved ones are drinking too much. Sit and talk to them. See if they can't drink all week. Get a breathalizer if you want proof

But it is very hard to leave someone you love when drinking and not nasty

Hello, thank you for your replies.

I wanted to mention the GP practice is very careful about doing the blood tests- they won't let him have the methotrexate unless he does the tests and only when the tests are back will he let them have the prescription. They also do write a note if something is not up to date and summon you in. I believe liver tests are a part of this regular testing process.

Today, I have been to the library and got a little self help type book from the BMA about helping with drinking / alcohol problems and it has a little cartoon at the start which is basically like what is happening with me, the husband shouting I haven't got a problem with drink when he is basically drunk and the rest of the family leaving due to it...it kind of helped a bit when it described it as it made me realise his behaviour is quite typical- the blaming and criticism of me, snapping over small things, the mood swings...problems with sleep..

Anyway yes i might join that 'dry' thread mentioned. If this has struck a chord with anyone who is concerned about their own drinking I have also found a site called
Soberistas which is quite good. There is also a good site Out of the FOG which is mainly about controlling, relationships but seems quite helpful too.

Kind thoughts and letting go....

Sorry, X = posted. So sorry to hear Blondes xx

How are the DCs, Lovely?

I haven't seen them yet Cozie as they are still away at my DH's sister's.. she kindly took them for a sleepover in the holidays. They were having a lovely time this morning baking apparently x

I found this article which looks helpful, for anyone dealing with this kind of thing.

www.healthline.com/health/most-important-things-you-can-do-help-alcoholic#StaytheCourse7

Blondes I am so sorry to hear your story and you could have been talking about my best friend who also died of this disease. His descent began with depression and eventually meant he lost everything. It was desperately and heart wrenching to realise that there wasn't anything I could do. He tried to hang himself twice and was admitted to psychiatric units and detox programmes but none of it worked. He eventually died alone, in unclear circumstances and his body was found by a delivery driver. It was a tragic waste of a life - but it was my crisis point to get my own sorry alcoholic arse into recovery. So I have to take that as the silver lining to a horrendously black and evil cloud.

This is an horrendous disease and I have huge appreciation for anyone who has to live and love an alcoholic

Blondes so sorry you've been through that.

It definitely is an insidious addiction probably partly as a legal drug. My father is from a long line of alcoholics (we know for definite at least as far back as my great great grandfather). Being also military where even today depression is seen as a weakness and not an illness, where the answer to a stressful day is 'pub?...yep pub!' And drink is heavily subsidised and used as a reward for exceptional workers and 'buying a slab' for your workmates is standard punishment for someone not pulling their weight...he had a double edged sword to weild BUT that doesn't excuse his abusive and violent behaviour.

My uncle who's been sober almost 20 years still finds it a struggle. I'm very conscious of my own intake. I don't go out often anyway, even when I do I don't always drink, and I have a cheap bottle of rum I treated myself to for Christmas (so bought mid Dec) and still over half full.

I suspect it's a far more prevalent addiction than is known partly as addicts won't admit they are. The most reliable stats are deaths and illness from alcohol.

Op it's very hard living with an alcoholic, don't tie yourself to 'I said I wouldn't leave' and consider how it is/will affect your dc.

OP since you have said that he drinks mainly at weekends and on holiday, and that you are going on holiday in France in August, you should be aware that the drink drive penalties in France are now very severe: a fine up to 4,500 euros and prison up to 2 years.

Thank you I will be able to tell him that.