Aibu to have handed my dd over to my dh and refused to deal with things for a while

[Sothisishowitfeels]

I have posted God knows how many posts on here about my youngest Dd (5 months) I just can't deal with it anymore, she is such incredibly hard work she screams for hours on end she comes out in random rashes, she has excema she, is terrible to feed, she wakes regularly at night. She has been in hospital twice already with chest infections, she is constantly snotty and dribbling to the extreme and has been since birth. She scratches herself constanly if you allow her access to her body - she has a bleeding cut on her leg which she did with her own finger despite me cutting her nails down as far as I physically can.

She cuts herself and bleeds so easily - today she had a bleeding cut on her chin which she got from a rusk ffs.

She has non blanching spots which I'm told are petichae but no one is told me why she gets these on her legs.

I have asked our go about these issues but because I have pnd (which frankly isn't surprising) he just asks me how I am sleeping etc.

This is not my first rodeo - she is my 6th child but I just can't take it anymore she screamed for hours on end today. today I have told him that I need him to do something . He works long hours, I know that I am probably asking the impossible but I am too tired to care.

I blurted it all out to him, showed him photos of our day which were various rashes, screaming and cuts and he has said he is calling the gp tomorrow to find out wtf is going on and tell them it's pretty much not in my head which is what I'm sure they believe it is.

He has sat her with me while she screamed for hours solid he knows that she is to say the least difficult.

Was I being unreasonable . I have literally left him holding the baby, he is going to have to take time off work to go to he gp for something that is potentially on my head.

Fwaffy - it's totally flat and smooth . So here you can see it but not feel anything.

There is clearly something going on and it's not your fault. I'm thinking allergy as well. Go back to gp and trust your instincts. Like you said you're an old hand at this.

Adding a drop of vanilla extract can help

Glad you've got chocolate, a bit of relief and someone to fight your corner, Sothis

DD's gorgeous!

For all that I hate, hate, hate instant diagnoses that always seem to be about a food allergy - one of my charges was just like this, until his doctor diagnosed dairy intolerance. (Also, I became dairy intolerant in my fifties! No more cheese, waah!!)

Hope it is dairy intolerance - easy to fix, and not a health problem as such. I also hope your DP punches your lazy, patronizing GP in the nose

Just to add my tuppence worth.

I had a very 'high maintenance' baby. She seemed so unhappy in her first fee months and all she did was cry, moan, and cling to me for dear life. She was incredibly sicky but as we never had "failure to thrive" issues with her weight no one ever took me seriously. Lo and behold when I started weaning at 6m she had an immediate reaction to Greek Yoghurt. Despite reactions to several milk products over time (I was advised to systematically try various things) it was still an uphill battle to get cmpa formally diagnosed.

She also had eczema from birth and it took the allergy clinic when she was 13mo old to finally diagnose it. Every GP or HV is had seen said it was dry skin!!!

Sorry I've gone off on a tangent but it sounds like at least part of the issue could be milk related.

I don't know if this will help your DD, but for my DS who had awful eczema we have had a big change with using Surcare washing detergent (nothing in to upset the skin), and putting him in a silk suit called Dermasilk under his clothes and PJs. The silk suit is particularly amazing for him, we use much less cream and steroid ointment etc now he wears it regularly. The baby silk suits have hand covers built in to stop scratching. I can hardly remember now the horrors we went through where he would be scratching and bleeding and infected with green gunge dripping from his knees and elbows - I never knew whether to bandage him up or leave it to the air to dry. Anyway, best of luck - I hope the GP is helpful tomorrow, some of them really know masses about eczema and allergies and others less so!

What a dear sweet baby. Sounds like you are getting some good advice here OP. and for you.

Thanks raining I will look into the suits - this was her scratching herself today (sorry for the thousands of pics I basically chronicled everything to show dh!)

Oh you poor love. And poor baby - both of you. She looks so sad and you sound it too. Massive hugs x

Don't just ask for Milk allergy testing - ask for full allergy testing - it could be allsorts - pets' hair, egg, strawberries, soya, - anything she could have come in contact but especially the washing powder.

Try Ecover or Fairy non-bio on all her clothes and NO fabric conditioner. I am the same colouring as your DD and have some allergies, asthma and mild eczema. But they are all triggered massively by fabric conditioner and the wrong type of washing powder. Bold is particularly bad for causing an allergic reaction. I looked like a reptile after trying it with a free sample.

Also ask if it could be reflux. My DS cried and cried for the first six months of his life. He was miserable. Then he started puking. I didn't like him at all - we were both so miserable. EVERYONE said milk allergy so I cut it out completely (EBF) and he did not improve after 3 weeks. Then I had milk again and he actually improved - but I think this co-coincided with his stomach valve maturing and the reflux stopping.

The Doctors had given us infant gaviscon but it was for mixing into a bottle and DS refused it and spat it out. So we never got the full value (refused bottles too). Hence me going through the agro of dairy free. In the end I am convinced it was reflux but at the time I was also convinced it was an allergy.
Your DD might have both. Reflux bloody hurts as an adult. If I was a child with it I would scream the bloody house down. So please check this out too.

Tell DH to absolutely demand testing and help.
Take you OP with him and let the Dr know how this is affecting you all and how distressed your baby is. They HAVE to do something. It's not in your head x

Another one saying CMPA. We cut out dairy at one year old with DS and the colic, vomiting and eczema stopped within a week...

The jabs is a massive red light too - tell the Dr.

The marks on her leg look like my eczema.

Don't know if it will help but I used to put long socks on my DD's hands (up over her babygro) when she was asleep as she couldn't peel them off to scratch.

Maybe a change of milk is needed? My dd suffers from mild excema and oilatum usually works for her. You can get some to add into her bath and a cream to use aswell. You dont need a prescription but it is expensive to buy otc. I would keep taking her back to the gp and demand that it is sorted out its not fair on you.

So sorry you're experiencing this. I feel your pain and desperation. I have been there too.

My first child turned out to have multiple allergies that were reaching him through my breastmilk. His eczema caused him to lacerate himself.

He had a difficult birth and was reluctant to turn his head to one side. I took him to a cranial osteopath. She straightened him out and also suggested I cut dairy from my diet. It helped a lot. I also found cutting tomatoes &, beef helped. Also, I think he'd been gulping air whilst feeding until his neck was looser - major wind.

I filed his nails with an Emery board rather than cutting. You can get nails v short and not get sharp edges. Careful you don't go down to the quick of the nail.

We gave DS Wysoy non-dairy formula once he'd weaned. There are probably lots of things your DD can try these days.

My second child didn't have obvious allergies and skin reactions, but could hardly settle. She would scream in sudden pain, and take hours and hours of jiggling in a sling to settle. She had silent reflux and horrendous constipation. We didn't work out what (if anything) caused the reflux. Cooked carrots made her poo golf balls once she was on solids. Again, I didn't work out what was passing from my diet to her to cause this.

The thoughtof allergies causing all this was not alien to me, as my sister was allergic to nearly everything as a baby/child. Even then, i didn't cop straight away as I didn't realise it could go through my milk.

Anyway, i hope you've had a break and feel stronger and more able to cope, and i hope you/your DH get somewhere with the GP tomorrow. Good luck

(YANBU by the way!!!)

Hmmm. Difficult to say just from picture but it doesn't look typically vasculitic. It may well be the severity of the eczema responsible.

One simple test to do would be to dipstick test a sample of wee to make sure there isn't any blood or protein in it as that can go with certain types of vasculitis. Your GP can do that test.

If that was clear I'd go ahead and change her to the über-broken down milk (not just the stuff for lactose-intolerance, you want the one that convinces her body it's never had anything to do with a cow).

I'd wait and see then. If it all settles with the new milk then hallelujah! If the rash persists then paediatrics or dermatology opinion would be the next step.

Best of luck with it all and, can I also add, you are an absolute hero for getting to 5 months with all of this going on. Seriously. Cut yourself some maaaaaaaaasive slack. You're doing an amazing job here.

I would put my money on a milk allergy, you need to get formula on prescription (as we did), I continued to breastfeed but found the reduction of milk as solids were introduced also helped. You may have to wait an age or may never get formal testing done, we were never given great help but instead given a list of foods to avoid and ingredients to avoid, as sadly milk is hidden and disguised in lots of foods.

The goods New is cmpa is one of the most common allergies affecting babies, most grow out of is as my ds did at aged 2.

Sorry to hear you're having such a tough time 😕
Agree with the others that it could be food allergies. My DD screamed night and day, no sleep, reflux, random rashes, eczema (although your little one's sounds more severe). I ended up finding a private paediatrician at 4am through my tears one night and it was the best move ever despite costing a fortune! I would ask GP to refer you to an allergy specialist/ paediatric gastroenterologist and a dermatologist to help with eczema too.
Good luck, really hope you get some help sorted soon x

The reaction to the jabs makes me think of egg allergy...

The good news is that children often grow out of it.

My step-daughters baby was exactly as you described. He was eventually prescribed the dairy free milk (not sure which one). Within a week, he was a new baby. However she had to FIGHT to get the prescription because it is quite expensive and the GP was very very reluctant to prescribe it. Every 6 weeks, rather than give a repeat prescription he made them go back on to normal formula to make sure it was still causing a problem!!!!! She weaned him as soon as possible to stop it being an issue.

I agree with the others- back to GP. Probably on to Paediatrician.

It sounds like CMPA to me. As others have said you need special formula and a dairy free diet if you are weaning. Don't substitute dairy with soya as there is a lot of cross reactivity.

Eczematous skin can bleed really easily. I was a nightmare eczematous baby but am largely clear as an adult - my Father recently triggered a flare by changing his washing powder when I went to stay. I was a miserble bugger all weekend and still have residual patches.

If itch is a big component have your tried some Piriton (Chlorphenamine).

CMPA. God she sounds identical to how DD was. I was where you are, it gets better, but prepare yourself for a bit of a fight.

Another one echoing the masses shouting milk allergy.

I think the milk to try is Neocate, which I believe is totally cows milk free, as opposed to Nutramigen etc, in which the cows milk proteins have been broken down but are still present.

Get dh to push for a fortnight's trial prescription at the very least.

A dermatology referral was very helpful when my twins were going through this. Best of luck.

Oh you poor love. She is absolutely GORGEOUS and you are doing so well.

FWIW-
A friend of a friend's baby was like this and had some enzyme thing (maybe started with k) that basically made her allergic to cows milk and is especially prevalent in communities when cousins of cousins have children, this didn't apply to friend so HPs didn't think to check, but it can rarely happen to anyone.

Also-
My red head had awful excema as a baby and I remember GP blithely saying he'd prob grow out of it by age 7 years! 7 years!! I sobbed! Anyway we cut out dairy to no effect and in the end we turned to herbalist medicine and some god awful tincture which did resolve the problem. At months old not years... Yes he is a bit sensitive to sun etc but not to the extreme you're experiencing.

Hang on in there, keep fighting, you know what you are doing.

I'm glad Fwaffy has come back to say it doesn't look Vasculitic - and that type of rash doesn't come and go so quickly.
It definitely needs checking out. Neither you nor your dd deserve for this to go on with no diagnosis.

Echo everyone else - def looks like an allergy to something. With pain she's in it would seem something she's ingesting - her milk as people have said. Print all your photos. Write down what you have told us and go with dh to doctors.

My skin looks like your dd and I have uticaria - skin itches, touching, rubbing makes very red rash and welts. I can spots which are more itchy and I scratch til they bleed. Mine has unknown cause. Notice dd has very red creases which look like eczema

I have to wash everything in boots eczema washing powder, no fabric conditioner. Normal non bios are too scented. I'm allergic to oilatum but find avenoo works well.

Yanbu to ask for help but she is only 5 months old so please remember she must have some (and dpunds like she does) reasons for this.
Just love her, get help and remember it will get better.