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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to have handed my dd over to my dh and refused to deal with things for a while

208 replies

Sothisishowitfeels · 04/04/2016 19:54

I have posted God knows how many posts on here about my youngest Dd (5 months) I just can't deal with it anymore, she is such incredibly hard work she screams for hours on end she comes out in random rashes, she has excema she, is terrible to feed, she wakes regularly at night. She has been in hospital twice already with chest infections, she is constantly snotty and dribbling to the extreme and has been since birth. She scratches herself constanly if you allow her access to her body - she has a bleeding cut on her leg which she did with her own finger despite me cutting her nails down as far as I physically can.

She cuts herself and bleeds so easily - today she had a bleeding cut on her chin which she got from a rusk ffs.

She has non blanching spots which I'm told are petichae but no one is told me why she gets these on her legs.

I have asked our go about these issues but because I have pnd (which frankly isn't surprising) he just asks me how I am sleeping etc.

This is not my first rodeo - she is my 6th child but I just can't take it anymore she screamed for hours on end today. today I have told him that I need him to do something . He works long hours, I know that I am probably asking the impossible but I am too tired to care.

I blurted it all out to him, showed him photos of our day which were various rashes, screaming and cuts and he has said he is calling the gp tomorrow to find out wtf is going on and tell them it's pretty much not in my head which is what I'm sure they believe it is.

He has sat her with me while she screamed for hours solid he knows that she is to say the least difficult.

Was I being unreasonable . I have literally left him holding the baby, he is going to have to take time off work to go to he gp for something that is potentially on my head.

OP posts:
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MrsJayy · 04/04/2016 20:22

My cousins son has some sort of milk protein allergy she was breasfeeding he wasnt well she changed to formula he wasnt well he ended up on prescription formula

CauliflowerBalti · 04/04/2016 20:23

YANBU and your DH sounds like a complete superstar. Let him support you. Let him take time off work. She is his daughter too. This isn't all on you. Lean on him a bit.

You sound so tired. It's time for someone else to step in for a bit. It's what her Dad is there for. Those rashes and cuts looks so so sore. It isn't normal, it isn't in your head.

LeaLeander · 04/04/2016 20:23

I feel so sorry for her. She is communicating as best she can. Clearly she is in some sort of major discomfort.

JustWantToBeDorisAgain · 04/04/2016 20:24

Dd was similar to this, she has dairy intolerance ( and now soya and other stuff).

If you were breastfeeding and still having dairy in your diet she would have reacted to that coming through to the breastmilk.

It may well not be this but it's an easy(ish) switch to make to exclude it as a possibility dairy intolerance is closely linked with eczema. We called dd1 the red faced shouty screaming demon baby ( in jest ) as all she seemed to do was cry.

Good luck with getting help, don't feel guilty asking for help, it is so so so so wearing anyone would find it challenging!

Imnotaslimjim · 04/04/2016 20:24

Poor baby, and poor you. You sound (understandably) overwhelmed

It does sound like a reaction of some kind.

I hope you manage to get some rest tonight and some answers tomorrow

BitOutOfPractice · 04/04/2016 20:25

Of course YANBU. Your DP is (I assume) her parent just like you are and has equal responsibilities to you

I hope you can get some rest and some answers Thanks

KayTee87 · 04/04/2016 20:26

Ouch poor soul does look sore and itchy.

You definitely need a break and you're not being unreasonable at all. It's great your dh is taking her to the gp tomorrow and hopefully he will get somewhere.

Do you think your husband could take the rest of the week off so you could have a real rest? You could even go and stay with a friend or relative for a couple of nights so you can be looked after for a change? Flowers

Original poster
Sothisishowitfeels · 04/04/2016 20:26

Thanks everyone she is asleep now I posted a picture on a thread in chat earlier and I just realised that she looked miserable and if you could se my face I would have tears in my eyes too. And I just text my dh to come home.

Aibu to have handed my dd over to my dh and refused to deal with things for a while
OP posts:
QuiteLikely5 · 04/04/2016 20:26

You can buy aptamil comfort from tescos, if you buy the ready made cartons they are easier to digest too due to the heating process they undergo before being put in the carton.

bloodyteenagers · 04/04/2016 20:28

Is your hv any good?
If so go to them rather than the gp

ApocalypseNowt · 04/04/2016 20:29

You are totally not U to hand the baby over. I think this definitely counts as an emergency for the pair of you.

Does possibly sound like allergies - don't get fobbed off at the doctor's.

And please see the GP not a cranial osteopath...you (gorgeous) baby need medical help not someone rubbing their head.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 04/04/2016 20:29

This is screaming allergies to me too..specifically cows milk ..please do ask about that

Original poster
Sothisishowitfeels · 04/04/2016 20:30

I have seen the HV last week (my gp asked her to come about three pnd) she had a look and said she thought she had a toungue tie and but about the rashes etc she pretty much told me to go back to he gp.

OP posts:
Kelsoooo · 04/04/2016 20:31

Agreeing with everyone else who is saying cows milk protein allergy.

My dd was the same.

RattusRattus · 04/04/2016 20:32

Aww poor little love. She looks beside herself and exhausted. I can imagine you're feeling much the same. Hope the GP sorts this out for you.

Original poster
Sothisishowitfeels · 04/04/2016 20:32

Should add the HV was fab but just didn't seem to know what was going on with dd!

OP posts:
NeedACleverNN · 04/04/2016 20:34

If it is an allergy be prepared to stand your ground and fight.

Do plenty of research and go in with all your facts.

My doctor refused to hear me so it took me 6 months to get sorted.

If I had known what I know now, I think I would have been taken seriously

MySordidCakeSecret · 04/04/2016 20:34

oh no Sad Huge hugs to the both of you, i can't offer much advice but i sincerely hope things improve quickly for you, she's beautiful Flowers

DustOffYourHighestHopes · 04/04/2016 20:40

You poor poor thing. Don't feel guilty. You need a break.

BonBonBons · 04/04/2016 20:44

Hello there, just wanted to reiterate the food allergy/intolerance idea. My two were both intolerant to cows milk protein, developed rashes etc and my first DS had the worst cradle cap, so bad I hate to call it cradle cap as it was so so so much worse and bled. Once on nutramigen he improved within 5 days. I started my DD on bm and then Aptimel in case she was different but again the signs started appearing and I was straight to the docs. They can both tolerate lactose free milk now (3yrs and 16mths) They would also both cry a lot (colic like) with the intolerance! It was the osteopath who made me think about the milk issues, they're really good! Good luck, please be forceful with the GP and please remember that this time next month/year/whenever this will be a distant memory and you'll be enjoying you're beautiful girl xxx

Original poster
Sothisishowitfeels · 04/04/2016 20:46

Thanks bonbon - my dd also has bleeding cradle cap!Shock

OP posts:
Fugghetaboutit · 04/04/2016 20:48

I thought dairy allergy too as soon as I read your op

BonBonBons · 04/04/2016 20:49

You must demand a change of milk my love! The GPs put up a fight because of the cost but you must fight for it for your little girl and your sanity! We were prescribed every cream/reflux med going before the milk but these were merely plasters for the underlying problem. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you x

SushiAndTheBanshees · 04/04/2016 20:50

Oh the poor little love - and poor you too.

No experience of this but it seems like other posters know what they're talking about. Worth giving the allergy route a try.

I do hope this resolved itself soon.