To not let dd wear swimming trunks?

[Speckledpeckle]

Just that really Dd is 5. Embraces all things typically thought of as "boy" strongly rejects anything remotely girly. Now wants to wear swimming trunks when we go swimming.. I embrace all the requests for spiderman shirts, darth Vader outfits etc. Right down to her underpants. However wearing swimming trunks feels a step to far.. I can't really articulate why.. Dh is on the fence doesn't really feel it's appropriate but probably wouldn't be too bothered. I have told her no, she is a girl and they wear swimming costumes! Now feeling like a right mean mummy as she says she no longer wants to go swimming then! Aibu?

Go swimming!

Not all girls wear costumes. Go to Germany or Scandinavia and you'll see lots of little girls in shorts/hammers/other bottoms only.

At 5, I'd just go along with it as (probably transient) preference. If I thought more coverage was necessary, then I'd add a rash vest.

How about an outfit like this? Its trunks, top, and Spiderman.

Yes YABU. Just let her. Who does it harm?

Do you think she prefers typical 'boys' themes/programmes or that she actually wants trunks? Perhaps discussing with her how much easier a fitted suit would be to swim in than trunks might help?
If it's that she wants trunks some of the ones in the sets with a rash vest are quite short and fitted anyway so worn on their own wouldn't look dissimilar to girl's bikini bottoms.
It shouldn't matter to a 5 year old but I can understand why you would prefer her to wear a costume.

"she has long bum length hair so would just like a little girl in trunks which I suppose is exactly what she would be!" Exactly what she would be. No imposed modesty is required for little children.

My DDs wear shorts and a rash vest. They're 10 and 7. I think it's absolutely fine!

We went to centre parks in France, all the infant school age girls seemed just to wear bottoms. Prepubescent girls don't have breasts so why should she cover her chest. I do understand your discomfort. She is the logical one! I have a long haired boy who swims in a tri suit.I am sure people will think he's a girl but he doesn't seem bothered at the moment. Actually tri suit might be a good genuinely unisex item.

I think what makes me most sad about it and I know this is my issue is that once I let her wear trunks or rash vest combo that'll be it.. She won't wear a swimming costume again. It was the same with underpants (now will not wear knickers) and school trousers (now will not wear dresses/skirts)
I don't know I think I find it all quite hard to deal with although try just to go with whatever choices DD wants its hard as it really wouldn't be what I would choose for her iyswim?! And I worry that she may get picked on or whatever at school swimming when she's there in her trunks and kids say mean stuff!
I'm also worried what it all means really? I mean why does she choose the opposite gender choice all the time. For what reason? It's not as if she's some trailblazer determined not to comform. She has completely comformed spiderman et al to the opposite gender? It makes me worry I've been a shit female role model or something.

Ahh fuck it. I should just buy her the bloody trunks shouldn't I?

Sorry op YABVVU.
It's no one elses business what your dd wears, girls don't have to wear costumes, sometimes I wear baggy mens shorts and a bikini top.

I just don't get it.
Do people in your pool really judge 5yr olds on what they wear??!
Sometimes I think I live in a parallel universe

If she's happy and safe, let the poor girl wear what she wants.

She won't wear a swimming costume again. It was the same with underpants (now will not wear knickers) and school trousers (now will not wear dresses/skirts)

Why is that an issue?

"I'm also worried what it all means really? I mean why does she choose the opposite gender choice all the time. For what reason? It's not as if she's some trailblazer determined not to conform." It means nothing. She is 5 and currently likes certain things.

Have a look at surf shops, they do board shorts for swimming for both sexes, really cute and lovely for swimming. Surf shops are less genderised , lots of lovely patterns/ flowers / colours for both sexes, perhaps that might strike a balance
TKMaxx sometimes get them in as well, but most of the surf labels make these.

Surely for 5 yos underwear can be relatively neutral?

I have a long haired 5 year old girl and I wouldn't hesitate to put her in boys swimming trunks if that's what she wanted to wear.

She also wore boys' underwear when little. She wanted raa raa pants not princesses. I let her.

Why won't she ever wear a swimsuit again? She will once she reaches puberty - or a bikini or tankini.

Do they do tankinis for girls? They are more practical than a swimsuit anyway - once I need to replace my next swimsuit I am getting a tankini - they are much easier if you need the loo!

She's choosing it because she likes it, and you don 't need to read any more into it than that. If you go back, not that long ago but before rapacious marketing, clothes simply weren't as gendered, nor were expectations (as so many DC that age were wearing hand me downs).

Let clothes be clothes.

As long as she is appropriately clad for the activity in hand, this is not something to make an issue of.

(And if she wears jammers or trunks (not hammers as in earlier post, DTAC) then it'll be equally easy to swim in as any other elasticated fitted costume) and even in baggy shorts it's not going to be a noticeable impediment).

Dd would only wear black or white as a five year old. She will tolerate some colour now she is ten. Children change. If she wants to wear jeans and a t shirt every day when she is older she would hardly be unusual.

You can get girl swimming shorts though... house of fraser although she might not want them in pink...

As pp have said at 5 it's not an issue really as she's nothing to cover up. There's quite a few old holiday pictures of me around that age just in shorts or bikini bottom things. I don't even remember it or my parents thinking it was an issue

shes 5. It doesnt matter, and it really doesnt mean she will want to be a boy.

Some plain swimming trunks will be super practical for swimming imo. She doesnt need anything covering her top at that age.

This is all symbolic for you, i know, but really, its JUST swimwear. You could get boys ones that look a bit more unisex if its easier for you.
www.boden.co.uk/en-gb/boys-1h-12yrs-swimwear/26075-dbl/boys-1h-12yrs-indigo_starfish-swim-trunks

Honestly, it doesn't matter. It feels huge to you but it's not.

She's 5 so she doesn't need anything bra like yet. So trunks are fine.

As she gets older, she'll need either a swimming costume or a rash vest, but she'll be okay with that.

I swim with women in rash vests. Sometimes I wear a rash vest over my bikini top. She'll be fine.

It's also okay to feel weird about this, because like you said, it's not what you'd choose. But equally, it wouldn't be right to stop her just because you feel uncomfortable. Own that, and buy her trunks if that's what she wants to wear. Fight today's battle today.

Let her wear what she wants. I can't think of a single reason why she shouldn't wear "boys" trunks. She doesn't have breasts to cover up. I didn't wear a bikini top until I was 14yo as I didn't have anything to cover before that. It's very common in most of Europe for both sees to just wear bottoms ( adults too!).

I'm a teacher. When taking the children to swimming lessons last time round two of the girls wore boys trunks. One of them with a rashy top and the other with no top at all. They both had long hair like your dd. It wasn't even blinked at.