To not eat at a restaurant

[YouCouldBreakMe]

I am starting a meal replacement diet as of Friday but I have a few social occasions lined up. I really have two AIBUs:

1. WIBU to politely decline to eat but drink mineral water and just join in the chat?

1. AIBU to expect friends to support me and not keep telling me I could have this or try that and lecture me about it not being healthy and eat fruit?

Thanks :)

I think my mates would all be fine with this, although you might get some stick about it. I can remember an occasion when something similar happened on a school mums trip. No-one said anything when the mum involved ate whatever it was she was eating. There were some raised eyebrows when she followed it up with a burger and an ice cream.

Because I wouldn't be going to eat I'd be going to see friends, and the restaurant would still make a profit as table is booked and I would be ordering drinks.

Could you not start the diet on Saturday?

If not, please don't go, it will be awful for your friends.

As someone who suffered for a long time with an eating disorder I am forever indebted to the friends that refused to see me sat there with just a glass of water. I realise I am projecting but for me to see that would be so concerning...

Can you tell them in advance, explain it, then just join in with chat and be sociable in the restaurant?
I'd hope my friends were understanding if that was me, I've just been on another thread saying how I've not been able to eat because of health issues, I'd be really upset if I was excluded.

Don't go to a restaurant and drink water while people have a meal, it'll draw more attention to yourself, be uncomfortable for other people and odd for the restaurant

Even on meal replacement you could have a plain salad just once, it won't make a massive difference and you'll have to eat normally one day so why not have the odd very healthy meal during the process

I'm talking about various occasions Lying not just one unfortunately most social occasions do seem to centre around food I think you are being a bit dramatic to be honest

Sooper because psychologically I think I need to just completely take food out of the picture IYSWIM

I'm on a meal replacement diet now. You actually can have a small meal of protein and green veg. It actually burns more calories because your body has to work harder whilst in ketosis to burn off the protein same rules apply as the dukan diet really. Less carbs, more protein to get you into ketosis. It's never affected my loss ever.

el_Quinto, I should try that. I have 'shakes' from time to time, I don't like them so swallow them as quickly as possible and that's that... a Harribo nosh sounds much better!

I've done exante before and if I've gone out for a meal I've swapped a pack for a steak or grilled fish and salad. No harm done.

I can't eat because I have brittle asthma, yep, work that one out, nothing to do with eating disorders at all, I adore food and cooking.

You think I'm being dramatic, OP, I think you're being self-servicing and a bit attention-seeking. Don't go to a restaurant not to eat, meet your friends later. That is what I would do anyway because I wouldn't want my friends to feel awkward and I wouldn't want to draw attention to myself acting oddly (ie. not eating in a restaurant).

Why don't you ask them how they feel about it? I would pretty much guarantee they will think it odd and if they don't say it to your face, they will talk about it as a group.

it would be uncomfortable for me to watch a friend of mine do this.

But you can't take food out of the picture for the rest of your life.

I honestly don't see what the problem is with ordering a small, healthy meal on the rare occasions you eat out.

Far more sustainable in the long-term to have a salad with friends, rather than avoiding all social meals out or else sitting there with only water.

Surely eating a salad wouldn't conflict with your diet?

Depending on the type of restaurant (sorry if I missed the info) you could have plate of veg to push around your plate. Failing that, you could actually have meat or fish with a bit of green veg or salad and still stay in ketosis. It may slightly slow your loss that week but won't knock you back to square one.
It is 'doable' though either way, depends on your friends.
Ultimately this is your choice, you're doing this for you, not anyone else. Just explain to people that you're more than happy for him to eat whatever they want but you won't be joining them.
Or simply don't go if you'd think it would be easier for now. You won't be on this for longer than a few months which isn't long once you're in to it.
Best of luck

1. Really hard without knowing what type of restaurant it is but I'd say don't go - see if you can meet your friends for a drink before or after the meal.
2. Hmmm I can guess but don't know about meal replacement. If you were my friend I'd probably ask you lots of questions as I can't imagine going without meals (and if I tried I would be hangry ALL the time). I probably would ask why you can't eat certain things (I mean surely you can eat beansprouts and celery... Why can't you eat beansprouts and/or celery?). Does that mean I just failed the 'supportive' friend test? If so YABU as I'd genuinely only be interested. I know how difficult it is to diet.

Restaurants are for eating in. They arent even just for drinking in. It is rude to the establishment to sit and drink mineral water and it would just be odd to be sat as a diner at a table where this was happening.

I think if you're taking on something like the Cambridge diet you have to accept that a large chunk of your social life (anything involving eating / drinking) will be defunct while you're doing it.

Going to a restaurant and not eating will make your friends feel uncomfortable and it will make you feel awful as all you'll want to do is eat.

Apparently the first week is horrendous and the second is a little better, so maybe it might be a bit more realistic when you're into the swing of things, but at that early stage, I wouldn't even consider it.

Of course I'm not attention seeking I'd just like to be part of things and not break my diet.

I wouldn't be happy doing this, or watching a friend/colleague doing this. If your diet is so inflexible, `I would stay at home

Meet them in the bar after they've eaten

Just order a salad, eat a bit push it around your plate etc, make no comment on it and no one will notice. Much better than ordering nothing.

There was a thread like this a while back where the OP was supposed to be going for lunch with her friends, but didn't want to eat either.

Tbh, it would make me feel uncomfortable sitting there eating a meal in front of someone, who wasn't.