To be annoyed that dh's employer seems to think we can magic childcare out of nowhere?

[m0therofdragons]

Dh's hours enable him to take our dc to school and I collect. Dh has been put on a training course so 2 days a month he has to be in our nearest city (2 hours journey in morning traffic) and he has to be there at 9am. I can't go in late and make up the hours as I need to pick up dc. Breakfast club is filled in September so no space for random days. No childminders with spaces as again they get booked up in September. Plus I don't really want my dc to have to have a change in their routine which is why dh and I organised it so we are the ones to take and collect but that aside, what exactly do they expect us to do?

My dc are off school for 8 weeks, almost 9 in the summer. If I had allocated my annual leave to looking after them during the summer months, I wouldn't be able to then use even more for something like this.

I don't know how many weeks holiday the OPs children get, but if she has said that she doesn't have enough annual leave to be able to spare any more, why do posters not believe her?

228 - most people get around 5 weeks AL. So 2 parents can cover 10 weeks if they NEVER have holiday together.

Schools get 13 weeks + a further week or INSET days = 14 weeks.

I suspect the op and her dh are already stretched beyond capacity in trying to cover the school holidays without taking a week's worth of holiday to cover a couple of hours in the morning.

It's not a question of not believing her and I understand annual leave doesn't cover all of the school holidays (even if two parents take it separately) so I can understand a reluctance to use it now.

But she's saying she can't cover these 2 days per month so people are suggesting she'll have to use annual leave. If she then has to use holiday clubs in the summer holidays or get the grandparents up for a week, that might be what she has to do to compensate - but it's easier to cover school hols (in my experience) than odd days in term time.

Backforgood that's exactly what I was thinking.

For example, I only get the equivalent of four weeks leave (I work part time) and only three of those are flexible, because one of them is set by my employer as the whole office shuts. I can't start late and make up hours, I can't work extra hours in advance and take TOIL. I'm not the OP, and maybe the OP can do these things, but plenty of people can't.

45 minute walk to school along roads with no path. Catchment school.
Grand parents not an option.
Cms have no space
Breakfast club full but will put names on waiting list
Will ask friends but need to look at logistics as will require 2 friends due to 3 car seats
Will speak to boss re flexibility but had to fight for hours i have
Worst case I use Al - will cause issues in hols as holiday clubs round here are from age 5 and dtds won't be 5 until end of August. Need an extra room for an au pair.

ok, fair enough, it wasn't a case of not believing her.

But maybe there are no holiday clubs? There are no holiday clubs in my area.

and also, there is not even any guarantee that an employer will grant annual leave if you ask for it. It's pretty normal to ask for annual leave and be told 'no, you can't have it that day/week'

OP do you have any school wrap around clubs that aren't attached to one particular school? My dc's have just moved from a childminder to a wrap around club that covers 4 or 5 local schools.

have you considered Unpaid Parental Leave?

www.gov.uk/parental-leave

Holiday clubs will no doubt be flexible because they're almost 5 and they've been in school together for a year.

We have 3 DC as do quite alot of our school friends, most have 7 seater cars - so me, my 3 and another family's 3 all do-able. Any school friends with a 7 seater?

Sounds like OP works PT so likely that leave is pro-rata'ed and she doesn't have the time to spare.

I get the frustration OP, but really, what do you want his employers to do? He's been put on a course and they usually don't sign people up to those for a laugh and I'd be surprised if there was much flexibility over location or time. It's "only" two days a month, and they can hardly ask the course organisers to start late so your DH can do the school run. Most people have commitments of one form or other and unfortunately they can't suit everyone.

If breakfast clubs or a CM are genuinely out of the running then your DH has got to start thinking outside the box; asking friends with uni-aged kids if they'd fancy earning a bit of cash to help out, checking out childcare providers, seeing if any of your friends/colleagues would consider a lift share arrangement. That, or he sees if there's a possibility that he can postpone the course to allow you to make other arrangements which probably won't look too good.

Ask other parents. If need by split up children. It's annoying but possible

Or try sitters tho think they have 3hr min fee so would have to pay £20 ish per day

Parental leave has to be taken in blocks of not less than a week I believe.

Some childminders can offer holiday cover even if they are full in term time as families all take time off at different points within the summer. This would also get you 'in' with a childminder who would probably then be more willing to provide as hoc cover as you need it throughout the year.

Sorry if this has been asked but why is this your problem to solve?

You said that he dropped it on you, but he is the one that comitted to the school run, he is the one who is not going to be able to do it for 2 days a months so he should be the one to find a solution. Presumably you wouldnt say to him that you are not going to be picking the kids for 2 days a month and theefore he needs to find a solution?

Can you see if your DH's company will allow him to add up his extra hours to take as flexi leave so you can make up extra hours to cover the leave you use covering for him?
We have this issue too as everything is finely balanced but the burden of 'flexibility' is on me as I have the lower wage and less corporate bosses. We do make sure that we submit requests once or twice a year to remind DH's boss that I have a career too.

Options I can see.

-take half day leave for those mornings.

-Offer to work through lunch break on those days to make up for some of that later start.

-renegotiate hours temporarily to fit in with the training course.

-employ a mothers help just to take your DCs to school

-talk to the school they may be able to connect you with a parent who will be able to help. My school helped with this when I broke my foot. I paid for them - parent with their 2 kids and my dc - to all get a taxi in each morning (£5 a day)

• get a friend and/or relative to help.

most likely solution would be to use a mixture of all the above over those months and just grit your teeth over it.

One set of my DS' GPs live across the water and another set 2.5 hours away. When we have needed help desperately the ones 2.5 hours away come and stay for a few days to help us. Is that an option?

Its not easy being working parents with kids.

Take the kids to work and pop them under your desk with crisps and a tablet each.

That reminds me of the British empire. Didn't she have 3 kids in her drawer

A lot of really unhelpful comments about it being DH's problem. Since when did families work that way, where OP can wash her hands of her DH's problem? Whether it's OP or her DH's responsibility is really not relevant or helpful in solving the quandary.

When holiday clubs say from five what they mean is end of reception year. Just ring and check am sure they will take them.

To gripe about a training opportunity in a world where hundreds of millions if not billions of people have no job or dead-end jobs with no employers investing in them or offering opportunities seems really ungrateful and short-sighted.

It's not the employer's problem to worry about childcare. Presumably a capable person would have it sorted out.

What sort of business do the nearby grandparents run that makes it impossible for them to help out?