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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To spend £1000

445 replies

Jaimx86 · 27/03/2016 21:21

I want a luxury spa and Michelin star restaurant for me and my DP. Live in the Midlands, so open to a lot of areas.

Looked at The Priory in Bath and The Grovesnor in Chester so far. I want utter decadence, but not sure whether these places will offer that. Upto £1000 for two nights.

Am I asking too much for the cost?

OP posts:
Original poster
Jaimx86 · 29/03/2016 09:57

Beaufortbelle we do plenty of walking as live in the countryside and spent yesterday making a base on the beach after trecking for a secluded spot.

My birthday weekend is me doing something I want as a treat, not s relationship saving operation.

OP posts:
xenapants · 29/03/2016 10:00

My husband and I spend a fair amount on hotel stays, we do as weekend away about fiveish times a year. It is not shallow to us, we are creating lovely memories and keeping our marriage solid

And you don't find it sad that you have to spend hundreds of pounds in order to shore up your marriage in such a fashion?

Philoslothy · 29/03/2016 10:06

And you don't find it sad that you have to spend hundreds of pounds in order to shore up your marriage in such a fashion?

Gosh how incredibly rude. We don't have to "shore up our marriage". However after over 20 years together and 6 children plus a stepson doing things together is a huge priority sometimes that is having breakfast together before the children get up and other times we will have a weekend away in a hotel. I am not ashamed of the fact that we believe in working at our marriage.

Queenbean · 29/03/2016 10:13

And you don't find it sad that you have to spend hundreds of pounds in order to shore up your marriage in such a fashion?

How bloody rude. WHY in these threads about expensive things do all these people come out of the woodwork and accuse the people who enjoy doing them of the most ridiculous things.

IT'S NOT YOUR MONEY THEREFORE NOT YOUR BLOODY BUSINESS.

Sparklingbrook · 29/03/2016 10:13

Why did you start 2 threads OP? Just out of interest.

xenapants · 29/03/2016 10:14

Not rude, just horses for courses. Doing things together is one thing, but needing to spend hundreds of pounds on fripperies to "keep a marriage solid" sounds faintly ridiculous to me.

Bearbehind · 29/03/2016 10:19

If you can afford to spend a grand on 2 nights away then I don't think it's anyone's business but yours but that works both way.

It's not appropriate to say that spending that kind of money is immoral or whatever else but equally, it's not appropriate to start a thread with the sole purpose of bragging.

OP never even mentioned on this thread that it was for a big birthday special treat and the first post wasn't even asking for suggestions it was simply saying 'look at me- I can spend £1,000 on 2 nights away'.

The irony of combining this thread with other comments simply highlights that the OP is not in a position to be bragging or calling people super poor as, from what has been said she is very much 'fur coat and no knickers'

Philoslothy · 29/03/2016 10:21

It was rude, like most couples we do things together to strengthen our marriage - we have shared hobbies and interests some of which cost a fair amount of money and some of which cost very little. DH and I grew up with very little, being able to buy fripperies is still quite exciting to us.

Oooblimey · 29/03/2016 10:25

No body has said anything about needing to spend money to keep their marriage together, people have said that they choose to because it makes nice memories and it's something nice to do. Xena is trying to come across as the voice of sensibility but is actually coming across as snide and judgmental. There is no reason why people shouldn't spend as much or as little on whatever they want to. I personally find going for walks bloody boring (unless there's a really good pub lunch at the end of it!!) but if that's what other people enjoy doing then great! Good for them to have found what they enjoy!
Stop judging others by what you do and accept that people can do whatever the hell they like!

Oooblimey · 29/03/2016 10:31

Bearbehind the original post is - I want a luxury spa and Michelin star restaurant for me and my DP. Live in the Midlands, so open to a lot of areas.

Looked at The Priory in Bath and The Grovesnor in Chester so far. I want utter decadence, but not sure whether these places will offer that. Upto £1000 for two nights.

Am I asking too much for the cost?

Where is the bragging in that? The OP has stated what they are looking for and the budget. Then asked if expecting too much for that price, which is totally valid as actually for everything the OP would like £1k isn't that big of a budget. You just decided to jump straight in accusing her. Why did you feel the need to comment at all if you didn't actually have a constructive helpful response? A suggestion of where to go?

Farandole · 29/03/2016 10:33

"Properly wealthy people are generally very nice and down to earth.
Nouveau riche types are usually snobby arseholes

Seems just a torch sniffy about people who have earned their own money and enjoy spending it."

Completely agree with you Philoslothy. What next - jibes at people who buy their own furniture?

I work with bankers, hedge fund guys, lawyers. The vast majority are 'nouveau riche' who work hard and started from little, or first/second generation immigrants whose families made enormous sacrifices to get a better life in the UK. The arsehole ratio is still very small.

Philoslothy · 29/03/2016 11:01

I agree farandole, I have never really understood the snobbery directed at people who make their own money rather than inherit it on MN. Surely most people with a bit of cash have made it themselves.

Moxxygirl · 29/03/2016 11:09

Ragdale Hall, nr Melton Mowbrary is gorgeous. Classy, fab food and lovely Spa tratments

honeyharris · 29/03/2016 11:17

Not having £1000 to spend on a short hotel break is super poor?????

Bearbehind · 29/03/2016 11:18

oohblimey I recognised the OP's username and, based on her previous posts and the fact that the first post said 'can I get utter decadence for £1,000' not 'what can I do that's really special for my birthday' II very strongly suspected how the thread would turn out.

It could have been worded very differently ie 'it's my 30th coming up and DP and I would like to spend a couple of nights at a spa with a good restaurant. Our budget is £1,000, does anyone have any ideas?'

I'd happily apologise if I'd been wrong but the thread did go exactly to OP's form.

Sparklingbrook · 29/03/2016 11:22

Bear the OP's other thread was worded much as you describe in Chat. Fewer replies but went absolutely fine and got a result. So not sure why an AIBU was required as well.

BeaufortBelle · 29/03/2016 11:23

Just had a lovely quiet swim Grin

Bearbehind · 29/03/2016 11:24

Exactly my point sparking. I see no other reason for this thread that a good old bit of boasting.

Bearbehind · 29/03/2016 11:25

^^ sparkling

Sparklingbrook · 29/03/2016 11:30

Yep I agree Bear.

Mappcat · 29/03/2016 11:31

I think Microsoft's chatbot has gone rogue again. The OP can't be real:
www.vox.com/2016/3/24/11299034/twitter-microsoft-tay-robot-hate-racist-sexist

hellsbellsmelons · 29/03/2016 11:42

I 2nd Pennyhill Park.

Ebb · 29/03/2016 11:48

Cowley Manor is very nice and so is Calcot. Cowley is good for visiting Cheltenham and Calcot is only 25/30mins from Bath.

parissont · 29/03/2016 11:53

Maybe I'm alone in this, but I think I've reached an age where all the above mentioned hotels and spas are completely unappealing. I can't think of a worse way to spend 1k. Not that my opinion helps the OP.

Barney60 · 29/03/2016 12:13

Why not try ST James Park, where the footballers train?, theres a hotel spa etc nice walks etc near by, also few pubs within couple mile radius if hotel is too expensive to eat in, I've not been personally and no idea of price, but my daughters been said it was superb?