To think the fussy eaters should pick the restaurant?

[BettyBusStop]

Need to book somewhere for a family meal. Not local to me.

It always goes the same way. Place suggested, fussy eaters moan. Or they ask if the organiser can contact the restaurant to ask if they'll do X, y or z instead. It's exhausting and we usually end up in one of two (not very good) places having a Luke warm roast chicken dinner. Last time was awful (been taken over) and we've all vowed not to return to that restaurant.

Not elderly, no special needs, no allergies, just fussy. Between the three of them they won't eat seafood, red meat, pork, anything with a sauce, anything foreign (except some pasta), no rice, no other grains, nothing spicy, no cheese that isn't cheddar, nothing that looks funny. Oh and one doesn't like veggie food - despite not liking seafood, red meat or pork.

I've suggested they have a chat and find somewhere they can all tolerate or that can accommodate their needs, and that isn't shit restaurant, and book it. Or, I'll book somewhere any they can find something on the bloody menu they can eat (even if it's just chips).

Apparently I'm being mean making them sort it. I think I'm being very reasonable And not at all unreasonable. (What I really want to say is fuck off to a Harvester and let the rest of us try the new Japanese place.)

I think it is very interesting to look at the wording some people use: "I can't eat x y z" vs "I don't eat x y z".
As in "I can't it because I have allergies/intolerances etc" or "I don't eat it because I'm a fussy pain in the arse".

I used to be a very fussy eater (as a child my Sunday roast consisted of mashed potato only), and had a huge fear of the unknown so would regularly claim not to like something when in fact I'd never tried it. However, when in public or at other peoples' houses, if something was put in front of me I would attempt it, as I was brought up that it was rude not to. I gradually ended up with more & more foods I realised I did like, particularly when I left home & started cooking for myself, and would consider myself to be "normal" foodwise now. My family find it very amusing now seeing me cooking & eating complicated dishes as they still remember the little girl with the bowl of mashed potato.

My parents never indulged my fussiness, which I think was really significant. My mum would say "this is what I am cooking, which bits are you going to eat?" and wouldn't pander to me by making me something special. So I felt like I was weird/awkward as opposed to special, and it encouraged me to try to change. I wonder how many of the fussy types would have benefitted from a similar "no nonsense" approach?

Also, I was on a course once with a VERY fussy man who would only eat plain grilled chicken & chips & openly admitted that he didn't have any food issues & it was just about what he liked.

It was a 5 day course where the delegates went out to eat each night & he was a massive pain in the arse. One night we went to a lovely Indian & he waited until we had all sat down having drinks (including bottles of wine) to say he couldn't eat anything. We ended up in fucking Yates'. He almost looked smug about it; I think he loved the attention.

He also kept saying that it wasn't doing him any harm as he wasn't fat. No, he was scrawny, pale, sallow, and generally looked really unhealthy.

By day 4 I pretended I was ill & hid in my hotel room with room service as I couldn't bear to sit at a table with the twat person.

he waited until we had all sat down having drinks (including bottles of wine) to say he couldn't eat anything. We ended up in fucking Yates'.

Why on earth didn't you send him to fucking Yates' and stay where you were? What a tit he sounds.

He was a tit. I would have happily sent him away but other people in the group were more indulgent polite than me.

Actually if the Japanese does Tapanyaki it may work well anyway. At least it would at the one we go as everything is cooked fresh and in front of you and you get to choose the fish and/or meat. You could easily choose to just have plain chicken done whilst others were a bit more adventurous. We've found it really flexible, really tasty, and a fab experience.

I have a fussy friend - she is just fussy. Wont try any thing. Only likes to eat pasta.

Drives me mad as every meal we go out for as friends we end up in Ask or Zizzi because she 'doesn't like' anything else.

I absolutely have sympathy with food issues, I struggle with jelly or thick sauces because of the texture and I appreciate thats easy to avoid. I would never dream of turning a meal out into something all about me - if I really thought I couldn't eat anything at all and wouldn't enjoy the evening then I wouldn't go.

However I can't see why you wouldn't just eat before you went and enjoy a drink, maybe some nibbles if they are suitable with friends and family - without making a big deal over it.

Wizzles, I think I'd have stayed put and had a fabulous curry in peace while they all sat in fucking Yates' (as it will forever be known )

there's an arrogance with fussy eating, i.e. i have special knowledge that i won't like this food because this food is not good enough for me. what i chose is time and time again is the correct dish and all those other millions of dishes i avoid are just disgusting or not right for me. it's the same as juding a book by its cover, i.e. i won;t like this book. this book is not for me. have you read it? no.

the only way you can get over that is if you grow up a little and try many different foods.

However I can't see why you wouldn't just eat before you went and enjoy a drink, maybe some nibbles if they are suitable with friends and family - without making a big deal over it.

Thing is, lots of people on this thread have said they'd find that annoying too.

I used to be really picky as a child - I couldn't tolerate anything sloppy or mushy, it would make me gag. No sauces, nothing squishy like mushrooms - I only liked dry crunchy food. It wasn't about the taste, it was the textures - I've since been diagnosed with dyspraxia, which could have something to do with it. However, as I've got older, I've found that these things bother me less and less, and these days I can eat quite normally. It hasn't been because I've had therapy or anything - it's just happened on its own. But I still have a lot of sympathy for fussy eaters, because I remember how agonising and embarrassing and really life-limiting it can be.

The problem is probably more the arrogance than the fussiness. Fussy eaters that are nice, fair people accept that it is them that have the problem and try to minimise the effect on others.

So they will just go along with whatever restaurant the group wants to go to and only have chips/salad or whatever else they feel they can eat, wheras the arrogant wankers, that people are complaining about will refuse to eat in certain restaurants and make a big fuss about what is acceptable to them.

So everyone else suffers because the majority of the time the fussy person is demanding that everyone goes somewhere very dull, that does middle of the road food, so the group never gets to try anything new, different or interesting and has to suffer crap food at the likes of Wetherspoons, or Fucking Yates to please one person, who could probably get plain chicken and chips just about anywhere.

Fussy eaters can always be accommodated in most restaurants. The Indian restaurant near me does roast chicken and chips, steak and chips, omlette and chips, salad fgs.
The only thing I'm fussy with is white sauces, ie. Carbonara, bechamel sauce, white wine sauce, Mayonaisse etc - so funny old thing, I don't order it or I order my burger without Mayonaisse!
In your situation, I would be asking the fussy eaters to choose the restaurant - and if that's a problem, then go where the rest of you want to go and they will have to make do.

Why are you trying to have a family meal when it's clearly not going to work for anyone. Can't you come up with something else to do? Of if feed necessary go for pub meal approach. Or afternoon tea?

I'm relatively fussy (no cheese or anything dairy because it kills my stomach, no fish because its gross imo) but there is always something I'll eat in almost every place, and it would definitely be my problem, I wouldn't make it anyone else's!

Let them eat chips.

BarbaraofSeville is spot on. We once had our Christmas meal at one of the eating places in Meadowhall because one of our team only likes plain pizza if she is eating out. While it wasn't inedible it wasn't very special either.

This was the same colleague who sulked all the way through a work meal that I mentioned upthread. She managed to suck all the joy out of the occasion.

I have little patience for fussy eaters. My immediate family - including my kids are extremely adventurous, and would enjoy a meal of good food anywhere.

I wouldn't waste my money on eating out at a harvester OP could you meet somewhere rather than a restaurant? A picnic, so you can all take your own food? Or an ice cream parlour? We have a lovely old fashioned ice cream parlour near us, table service, makes all its own ice creams, sundaes, knickerbocker glories, home baking and a few light main courses,

I wouldn't set foot in a Harvester. My father is a super-fussy eater and when he visits we eat almost exclusively at Cote.

If they're merely fussy eaters I'd press on with Japanese suggestions just to annoy them (I also do this with my father, before we inevitably settle on Cote).

YANBU or being mean. I agree - let them choose, or if they don't want to I'm sure they can order a couple of side dishes from the restaurant of your choice. Fussy eating is one of my pet hates. I have no time for it!

Hey, what's wrong with a Harvester? Not exactly gourmet dining but I've always found it nice enough when we go. The kids love it!

As a non fussy eater I would finish my plate in harvester. However I adore good food ( as do my kids) . We don't eat out often, if I am spending £60 on a meal I want something I will enjoy.

And to harvester food- much of the stuff they serve is pre-made and frozen, their chips are frozen, pasta sauces are industrial jar type sauces. Much of the salad stuff is factory made and brought in containers deserts and cakes are from the freezer.

If I want that type of food I can buy ready meals at a fraction of the cost.

Most chain restaurants produce very medicre food, akin to cheap ready meals, which is what they generally are in reality.

If you cook most of your own food at home, you sit there thinking 'I could have made this much nicer at home for a third of the price' which kind of takes the shine off the treat.

If I eat out, I want skill, effort and complicated ingredients. I don't want something I could have done better and cheaper at home with little or no effort, so would never have things like steak and chips or spaghetti carbonara.

Cross post pearly. Glad it's not just me that sees it that way because most people seem to disagree.

Exactly barbara.

This thread has reminded me -how is 'Gareth' from the 'spicy as fuck' thread? Is he still insisting on Harvester?