To think the fussy eaters should pick the restaurant?

[BettyBusStop]

Need to book somewhere for a family meal. Not local to me.

It always goes the same way. Place suggested, fussy eaters moan. Or they ask if the organiser can contact the restaurant to ask if they'll do X, y or z instead. It's exhausting and we usually end up in one of two (not very good) places having a Luke warm roast chicken dinner. Last time was awful (been taken over) and we've all vowed not to return to that restaurant.

Not elderly, no special needs, no allergies, just fussy. Between the three of them they won't eat seafood, red meat, pork, anything with a sauce, anything foreign (except some pasta), no rice, no other grains, nothing spicy, no cheese that isn't cheddar, nothing that looks funny. Oh and one doesn't like veggie food - despite not liking seafood, red meat or pork.

I've suggested they have a chat and find somewhere they can all tolerate or that can accommodate their needs, and that isn't shit restaurant, and book it. Or, I'll book somewhere any they can find something on the bloody menu they can eat (even if it's just chips).

Apparently I'm being mean making them sort it. I think I'm being very reasonable And not at all unreasonable. (What I really want to say is fuck off to a Harvester and let the rest of us try the new Japanese place.)

Gareth

God luv him

Nah, I disagree about Harvester. I've had plenty of nice meals there and never detected anything that tastes like a jar of pasta sauce.

I don't get the salad comment - how can you 'factory make' salad? Looks like they chopped up a load of cucumber, peppers and lettuce to me. Obviously the pasta bits and coleslaw - I've no idea - but again, they seem decent to me.

And Harvester is on my 'good' list anyway for having a decent enough kids menu and (for us) outstanding customer service. My local one in particular is fab. Last time we were there ds2 had salmon and ds1 asked if he could have steak (not on the kids menu). An adults steak with all that comes with it would have been wasted on an 8 year old so I asked one of the staff if there was any chance of a kids portion. The chef actually came out and spoke to ds1 and said 'don't worry, I've a lovely 6oz fillet in the back, i'll see what I can do' and then did him a smaller version and we were charged about a fiver for it.

Anyway, maybe in my local one the service has won my custom rather than the actual food!

I used to work for a company which supplies loads of restaurants, including Harvester, with jarred sauces/pre-prepared food. Most chains have the bulk of their food pre-prepared or bought-in from factory-based suppliers.

Also, how do restaurants feel when they effectively lose a cover to a diner who just has a glass of water? I would feel particularly uncomfortable about that as they're running a business and will be losing money.

I remember Gareth and Spicy As Fuck, Elinor. IIRC the group decided to go to Spicy as Fuck and Gareth could take it or leave it. They were sick of 'Gareth can't eat,' when it was really 'Gareth won't eat' and Harvester.

Ah Gareth. That was a good thread. I've worked with people who are picky for attention, it definitely is a thing. They seemed actually frightened of anything which wasn't totally familiar to them. Asparagus being a memorable example. Mind you, the worst offender was a girl who seemed almost proud that she got the tube in from the eastern reaches of the central line to Oxford Circus every day, but only knew her way from there to the office......had never been anywhere else in London, pretty much. No curiosity, no adventure, no get up and go of any discernible type at all, despite spending every day in one of the worlds great cities. It's cemented a view in me that people who are frightened of food (allergies, sensory processing issues, ASD etc not included) are frightened of life.....because how do you go travelling or have spontaneous adventures if you're mithering about only eating beige?

I remember Gareth too. Gareth's arse on a stick I say. Selfish bugger.

Oh yes, Spicy as Fuck. All us on MN should totally crowdfund and open that restaurant.

I seem to remember they held firm and Gareth and Barbara, or whatever his wife was called, said 'Oh well, we can't come then, we'll meet you after for a drink instead' or some attention-seeking poor-us bobbins.

Will the Gareth thread still be kicking around?

I'd go the to the Japanese place with DP, we both love trying new stuff.

I'd care less then about the fussy eaters as I wouldn't be missing out haha

Those who are saying they are only on about fussy eaters, not those with medical conditions/disabilities - how can you tell the difference? DS and I would both pass as normal (although maybe quirky in Ds's case). We both have aspergers. Equally you wouldn't know by looking at me the violent reaction I get to garlic, nor the less violent reaction I get to other alliums. Indeed, I am not even medically diagnosed as having an issue with the allium family, doesn't mean I don't have an issue. So unless we chose to share our issues, you may well consider us fussy.

It is also suspected large numbers of women on the spectrum are undiagnosed. Many food intolerances are also undiagnosed because people just cut foods out if they realise they do not agree with them, rather than going down a diagnosis route. So just because someone does not have a medical diagnosis (that they choose to share with you), does not mean there isn't an underlying issue.

For DS especially, but also myself to a degree, it isn't just the food served at a restaurant/eatery. Frankie and Benny's is difficult due to the volume of the music (as well as the garlic in their food ). Temperature, lighting, proximity to other diners, even scents can cause issues as well. Food is just one part of the experience.

Having said that, there are also people who love to have the attention on them, as well as those who seem to pick and choose their issues according to how they woke up that morning. But for me, I would rather eat at MacDonalds if that is what suits the needs of the group, even though I would prefer another eatery, as for me the fun of being out in the group is generally more important. I know that isn't true for everyone though (as evidenced on this thread).

I agree that the fun of the group is important, but I would prefer not to waste money on crap food. Meeting in a coffee shop, having a picnic, or chatting in someone's home would be preferable .
I would refuse to pay good money to eat in Harvesters and would arrange to meet afterwards for a coffee.

I don't like it when fussy eaters do the 'gag ugh how can you eat that' routine about perfectly normal food. I understand they don't like it, but I don't appreciate being made to feel uncomfortable while I'm eating pasta for example.

All the fussy eaters I know will eat traditional English/nursery food and love a good pudding. I'm sure there's money to be made here, a chain of restaurants like zIzzI for plain eaters...

Viking, I know, it's so rude and childish. I always remember an ex-friend of mine who was a very very attention-seekingly-fussy eater, at dinner at my house once. She had to hold a bowl of beautiful cavolo nero while it was being passed round. She sat holding it theatrically away from her and going 'Ugh! Ugh!' until the next person took it cunt.

She's not an ex-friend because of her food antics, but I have to say they did contribute in a small way to why I eventually realised I was better off without her.

What op describes is not just a fussy eater. Seriously, what DOES that person eat?