To think the fussy eaters should pick the restaurant?

[BettyBusStop]

Need to book somewhere for a family meal. Not local to me.

It always goes the same way. Place suggested, fussy eaters moan. Or they ask if the organiser can contact the restaurant to ask if they'll do X, y or z instead. It's exhausting and we usually end up in one of two (not very good) places having a Luke warm roast chicken dinner. Last time was awful (been taken over) and we've all vowed not to return to that restaurant.

Not elderly, no special needs, no allergies, just fussy. Between the three of them they won't eat seafood, red meat, pork, anything with a sauce, anything foreign (except some pasta), no rice, no other grains, nothing spicy, no cheese that isn't cheddar, nothing that looks funny. Oh and one doesn't like veggie food - despite not liking seafood, red meat or pork.

I've suggested they have a chat and find somewhere they can all tolerate or that can accommodate their needs, and that isn't shit restaurant, and book it. Or, I'll book somewhere any they can find something on the bloody menu they can eat (even if it's just chips).

Apparently I'm being mean making them sort it. I think I'm being very reasonable And not at all unreasonable. (What I really want to say is fuck off to a Harvester and let the rest of us try the new Japanese place.)

YABU. If the fussies pick, you generally end up going somewhere dull that does shit food, like Wetherspoons.

I don't see why you can't all go to the Japanese place. After all it's just perfectly normal food like meat, fish, rice, noodles etc. Never understood how that can be considered 'out there'.

If they're that fussy, they can have chicken Katsu curry without the sauce.

Agree that adults without SNs who are that fussy that they want to dictate where everyone eats needs to grow the fuck up.

They're shite apparently, but they have a wide choice.

Great.

It's a family meal for a birthday, I don't eat out with them for fun!

I don't always have to book, but for various reasons I've sorted it the last few times. Although thinking about I've probably got off lightly, my poor cousin had to organise wedding catering around this lot. Extended family are even worse.

Can't do a kid's menu either, they definitely won't eat chicken nuggets, or sausages (unless the right kind), or fish fingers (unless Bird's Eye).

I've also never understood why people say it is a form of attention seeking. Who would deliberately paint themselves as a childish pain in the butt?

Right, the birthday person chooses!

Any hissy fits from adults - tell them they get to choose on their birthday.

No noodles, no rice (well, one will), no sauce means Japanese is out.

God, I could just eat a massive Katsu curry. I might order takeout as an Easter treat.

Who would deliberately paint themselves as a childish pain in the butt?

Because they are, a childish pain in the butt?

Why do you have to make food a focus at all?

There are lots of things you can do when you all get together, that doesn't involve eating.

OK perhaps this time because it's someone's birthday and they've probably chosen a meal out, but in future I'd do something else when you all get together, thus avoiding the headache.

Is it the birthday of one of the fussy people? If not, they can suck it up.

IsmellSwell is probably right about the chips. Japanese is probably one of the few restaurants that don't do chips or other any other type of fried potato.

IME there are two types of fussy eaters - those who genuinely want to change but find it hard to without some kind of professional intervention. Those people tend to be embarrassed by the situation and do their best to blend in (letting you choose the restaurant but eating bread and butter instead of a main for example). And then there are attention-seekers who enjoy feeling special and interesting, and that everyone has to change their plans to suit them. From what you've said it does sound like your family fall into the latter group! I would have very little patience tbh.

(Oh, and DD is a fussy eater who won't eat chips! But she is a very odd child )

What about a buffet meal? I expect the better hotels do good ones. In my area we have World Buffet, which is popular for office nights out as everyone is sure to find something they like. Certainly it isn't somewhere I would choose for a family celebration but there must be up-market versions around.

Thing is, at some point people usually need feeding no matter what you do. Even a sandwich can end in tears. No mayo, no dressing, no funny ham, nothing pickled or cured, no non cheddar cheese, no bits in the bread. Fine, have a plain ham on white bread, but stop fucking talking about it.

barbara because serious allergies aside it's not necessary in the slightest to make a big fuss about what you eat. Therefore if you do, it's attention seeking. Those who genuinely have fussy restaurant tastes don't make it all about them, they just quietly find a few sides/ starters etc they can eat, without feeling the need to make everyone pander to them or be noted for how special they are in avoiding some foods.

Ok, take the focus off food. How about paint ball or laser quest? You can shoot them instead.

I've also never understood why people say it is a form of attention seeking. Who would deliberately paint themselves as a childish pain in the butt?

I used to know one person who was DEFINITELY doing it on purpose. I don't think she considered that it might make her look childish. It did though.

YANBU. I have an allergy and I simply make it work, or don't go to places that only serve food I can't eat. It's rare that I can't find something to eat.

My friends once all went out to dinner without me, told me about it afterwards and said they hadn't invited me because they didn't think I'd be able to eat the food. I would have liked to make that choice myself and not have it made for me - it felt very hurtful to be excluded like that. To be clear - if I really couldn't eat anything I would have just not gone, I wouldn't have expected them to change their plans.

That said, some people are 'fussy' for attention. I used to have an aunt who insisted all three of her children had an array of allergies so they were impossible to cater for, but the 'allergies' changed with the wind. As soon as she and my uncle had separated the kids could eat everything, and now they're adults they eat whatever they want.

Who would deliberately paint themselves as a childish pain in the butt?

A childish pain in the attention seeking butt!

Even a sandwich can end in tears. No mayo, no dressing, no funny ham, nothing pickled or cured, no non cheddar cheese, no bits in the bread. Fine, have a plain ham on white bread, but stop fucking talking about it
There is no hope.

Rafflesway can you really not eat anything with garlic, balsamic, mustard or mayo? are you allergic or just being fussy?

There are plenty meals on a menu in restaurants without those ingredients btw.

What about going to a hotel for afternoon tea instead?

Birthday person chooses, definitely. Best solution.

Thing is, at some point people usually need feeding no matter what you do

Not really.

You could get together for an evening drink for example, or an evening trip to the theatre.

There are a million and one ways to entertain yourselves that doesn't involve eating.