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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be seriously pissed off at "best friend"

129 replies

peacelily7 · 25/03/2016 10:56

So me and DP are hopefully getting married next year in Cyprus.

So I told my "best friend" / "maid of honour" that guests would be staying for the first week and the second would be classed as our honeymoon.

The whole reasons were getting married abroad in the first place is so we don't have to entertain people we don't really enjoy being with/know 100%.

She dropped the bombshell the other day and my wishes mean nothing to her. Turns out she's gonna be staying the whole 2 weeks in a room close to ours (Confused) and she's also invited her parents, sister and partner of about 5 months.

I like her family but not even all our parents will be definitely there.

I don't want her there for the whole 2 week and I don't want her family there!

I mean the planning process is in very early days so nothing is set in stone as of yet but am I being unreasonable to be royally pissed off??

Rant over

OP posts:
NoahVale · 25/03/2016 10:57

you dont have to see them while on your honeymoon.
cant imagine why they all want to be there for 2 weeks tbh

just let her book it and then hide away while on holiday

AlisonWunderland · 25/03/2016 10:58

You already decreed that guests stay for a week, so can hardly tell them what else they can do with their annual leave!

StealthPolarBear · 25/03/2016 10:59

Surely they're having a holiday that happens to be in the same place and time as yours. Was there any expectation from her that you'd meet up

Birthgeek · 25/03/2016 10:59

Yabu. If she can't grasp this simple concept and doesn't get it, then you can't have her as your MOH unfortunately, and someone will have to change their plans.

SpringerS · 25/03/2016 11:00

Maybe your friend wants a 2 week holiday and can only afford one set of flights. Unless you are paying for her flights I don't think you get to dictate how long she spends in the area. Especially as you are also 'dictating' which country she has to fly to.

ClopySow · 25/03/2016 11:00

YABU.

Costacoffeeplease · 25/03/2016 11:01

You can't tell people what to do, if you want a private honeymoon go somewhere else that no-one else knows about

Are you always this controlling?

Original poster
peacelily7 · 25/03/2016 11:01

I know but I don't want to have the awkwardness on my wedding day of having to talk to them and make small talk as there's only going to be about 10 guests (if that)

I suppose I could just hide away

OP posts:
Birthgeek · 25/03/2016 11:01

The whole reasons were getting married abroad in the first place is so we don't have to entertain people we don't really enjoy being with/know 100%

Have a registry office do in UK, followed by nice meal, and then go to honeymoon in undisclosed resort.

Trills · 25/03/2016 11:01

I can see how it's really ANNOYING, but you can't really blame her for choosing to have a second week of holiday.

You've asked her to use her money and time to come to Cyprus for a week.

Staying for a second week will be much cheaper than going on a second holiday somewhere else at another time.

HairySubject · 25/03/2016 11:01

They might only be bake to afford one holiday abroad so by combining it with your wedding they get to do both. I don't think you can demand who does and doesn't visit a country just because you are getting married then.
Just don't spend time with them for the second week.

TealLove · 25/03/2016 11:02

YABVU

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 25/03/2016 11:03

Could you stay in the same hotel for the week, then go on a mini cruise or go to another part of Cyprus for the next week.

TBH, I wouldn't go for 1 week. The flight is 4+ hours, it's proportionally more expensive to go for one week than two (the flights are ££). That's two days out of the week just travelling really.

They will do their own thing.
You aren't paying for them are you?

fuctifino · 25/03/2016 11:03

Book 2 weeks, get married 2nd week but don't tell anybody that.
Have a lovely peaceful first week.

KillBillHill · 25/03/2016 11:03

If it bothers you so much then book another hotel for the second week?

LaurieFairyCake · 25/03/2016 11:03

She hasn't invited her family to your wedding has she Confused - you don't have to talk to them on your wedding day.

I also agree that she's quite sensibly decided to turn it into a holiday instead of just spending thousands attending your wedding

Whatthefucknameisntalreadytake · 25/03/2016 11:04

Yabu it's not up to you where she and her family go on holiday and how long for, it's up to them. You can't expect to have control over that.

Original poster
peacelily7 · 25/03/2016 11:04

I'm more annoyed at the fact that she's invited them and I've not invited anyone officially yet

OP posts:
BillSykesDog · 25/03/2016 11:04

If it was in a different hotel I could understand. You're right, it's a bit off. But others posters are right that you can't really tell them when they have to leave, especially if going means they can't afford any other holiday that year.

Can you talk to her and see if rearranging her accommodation is doable? If she was just in the same resort then it might be okay. But yes, I understand your reluctance to be talking to your best mate's Dad at the breakfast table every morning on your holiday.

Floggingmolly · 25/03/2016 11:04

Are you serious? You chose to get married abroad, and you "told" your guests they were staying for a week? And you're now telling them they must piss off home when the week is over????
The second week which is your honeymoon is also their annual holiday, which they've graciously allowed you to hijack. Take a look at yourself Hmm

LaurieFairyCake · 25/03/2016 11:04

You've not invited her partner have you ?

So you expect her to shell out thousands to attend your wedding without her partner being there as its only (to you) been 5 months

IceMaiden73 · 25/03/2016 11:04

YABU they can do what they like with their annual leave

You could always move to another hotel for the 2nd week

DragonMamma · 25/03/2016 11:05

Jesus. Yabu.

Have you thought that maybe she's using her annual holiday allowance/money to come to your wedding and would prefer to stay 2 weeks instead of 1. After all, it's never twice the amount to stay for 2 weeks as the flights to Cyprus tend to be the expensive part.

You really can't have it both ways - getting married abroad and expecting them to come, then buggering off when you're done with their company.

My DH's ex wife did this for their wedding and insisted on people joining them stay at a different hotel so she didn't have to spend loads of time with them. Bizarre behaviour.

TheCrumpettyTree · 25/03/2016 11:05

Firstly, why would you be worrying about entertaining people you don't know? That's what invitations are for, weddings aren't a free for all.

How are you going to 'make' your guests stay for two weeks?

It's their annual leave too, and something they may well have not have used up so actually they can do with it what they like, including not come at all. Hence why she might have invited her family. Surely they won't be at the wedding though?

AlisonWunderland · 25/03/2016 11:05

You'll be on honeymoon and too busy shagging to leave your room