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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Would you be offended by this - alcohol / chainstore related

148 replies

JustAnotherOP · 23/03/2016 16:40

Most mornings I do a shop for the day / week. I always pick up a bottle of wine or a few beers along the way.

This morning I went to the chainstore (my local), to buy wine. Later today I went back to pick up a few more bottles. The cashier that served me in the morning was standing next to the cashier that was serving me later today. She told her that I was most likely drunk and they called their manager to decide what to do. I was eventually served and left but I asked the manager why her colleague had deemed me drunk. She didn't have an answer. I do look very young so being ID'd is not my concern but whispering among themselves that I'm drunk has really put my hackles up.

OP posts:

Creampastry · 23/03/2016 16:45

Had you drink a bottle of wine between the morning visit and going back?

lavenderdoilly · 23/03/2016 16:46

Were you?

Chocolatteaddict1 · 23/03/2016 16:46

You buy wine/beer most days? Had you been drinking before going back in the shop?

TheCrumpettyTree · 23/03/2016 16:47

Why do you need to buy wine and beer most days?

embroideredbee · 23/03/2016 16:48

how weird. did she assume you'd already gulped down the booze you bought this morn and therefore must be drunk? and had you?

WoodleyPixie · 23/03/2016 16:48

Buying wine/beer/alcohol daily seems excessive to me and isn't it an indication of alcoholism? Why do you drink everyday?

Original poster

JustAnotherOP · 23/03/2016 16:49

No not drinking. I'm stocking up for a dinner I'm planning and I don't drive so need to buy little and often.

OP posts:

whatnoww · 23/03/2016 16:49

Were you? Go on you can tell us

whatnoww · 23/03/2016 16:50

X post. That's just plain rude of the staff then!

lavenderdoilly · 23/03/2016 16:51

The shop is private property. They probably have rules about selling alcohol to someone they think is drunk. To be honest, if I'd seen you regularly in and out of my employer's shop buying alcohol sometimes twice a day, I'd wonder if I should continue to sell you alcohol. Sorry if it offends you. Speak to your GP if you are drinking too much.

Buckinbronco · 23/03/2016 16:51

I think corner shops and the like pick up on a lot more than we expect and judge people for it. It sounds like the worker was being judgemental about the amount you buy having probably observed it for months getting more and more pearl clutchy about it.

I would be offended too. Not much else you can do really.

Buckinbronco · 23/03/2016 16:52

It's none of the shops business if she is an alcoholic though. Naturally they are within their rights to refuse to sell to her but that doesn't mean she can't be offended.

TheCrimsonPleb · 23/03/2016 16:53

Buying booze most days, buying some this morning and then going back to buy "a few more bottles" doesn't sound like your average punters booze shopping pattern. Do you drink heavily or are you having a party tonight?

TheCrimsonPleb · 23/03/2016 16:54

Oops x-post!

firesidechat · 23/03/2016 16:55

Most mornings I do a shop for the day / week. I always pick up a bottle of wine or a few beers along the way.

That doesn't sound consistent.

The shop assistant was rude though. I worked in a convenience store few years ago and you do start to recognise the regular drinkers, but we only talked about it when they had gone.

TheCrimsonPleb · 23/03/2016 16:57

I have been refused sale of alcohol before when drunk and found that offensive - being as I was drunk and acting like a twat. Now I don't drink I think I would find it funny if this happened.

firesidechat · 23/03/2016 16:58

Sorry that was a fail with the quotes.

The second one should read:

No not drinking. I'm stocking up for a dinner I'm planning and I don't drive so need to buy little and often.

EBearhug · 23/03/2016 16:58

Did they ask you if you were drunk, or were they discussing you as if you weren't actually there in front of them?

Going by my understanding of events (which isn't very clear, so I may have got totally the wrong end of the stick,) I think it is good that they are not necessarily going to serve people with a drink problem.

I think they might be in dire need of customer services and communication training, in particular in relation to this policy, but also more generally. I mean, it should not need much training to know that talking about some one in their hearing is unwise. When the things being discussed are potentially upsetting, it's even less wise. Even if you had already been drinking, even if you were obviously drunk, that wouldn't make it okay to talk about it like that in front of you.

I'd be giving them some constructive feedback. (And possibly also reflecting on my drinking habits, but that's not something I would share with them.)

Alisvolatpropiis · 23/03/2016 16:58

What fire said.

I used to work in a supermarket and it is true, staff notice things like that.

I always used to try not to raise my eyebrows at the smartly dressed woman who would come in every day to buy mini bottles of wine...at about 8:30am.

MaxPepsi · 23/03/2016 16:58

Ha ha

I love how everyone has immediately concluded the OP is a raging alcoholic.

I do drive, I buy my wine in bulk from a wholesaler.However if my favourite is on offer in the supermarket I buy it bulk from there too. Last time I did this, there was not enough on the shelves, I asked the assistant if they could get me 3 cases from the back. He didn't even bat an eyelid at me buying 18 bottles of wine along with my salad I was getting for lunch!

HerRoyalNotness · 23/03/2016 17:00

Heh, I read it as alcohol and a chainsaw, in which case you'd be vv unreasonable.

In the actual case though, you are not.

firesidechat · 23/03/2016 17:02

From my experience 'of working in a shop it's not the ones who buy in bulk that make you think, it's the ones who make regular trips to the local store for a top up - once ,twice or three times a day. A bit like what the op did.

Zampa · 23/03/2016 17:03

I was behind a guy in a supermarket queue, who was buying about 5 bottles of wine, nothing else. His bill was about £100.

After he'd left, the cashier made a comment about it to me. She was very judgemental about his purchase, both the quantity and the price. I thought she was incredibly rude and answered that he was probably going to be having an amazing dinner party and I hoped for an invitation.

I'm sure cashiers frequently judge us on our purchases but they should do so privately!

firesidechat · 23/03/2016 17:05

I wouldn't have judged them for that Zampa. I would have thought they were having a party too or just stocking up on some wine that they really liked.

Original poster

JustAnotherOP · 23/03/2016 17:09

I'm not a raging alcoholic. But I do know I should cut down on my drinking.

But it was the way she looked at her colleague and told her that I was drunk that bothered me.

OP posts:

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