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Original poster

Would you be offended by this - alcohol / chainstore related

148 replies

JustAnotherOP · 23/03/2016 16:40

Most mornings I do a shop for the day / week. I always pick up a bottle of wine or a few beers along the way.

This morning I went to the chainstore (my local), to buy wine. Later today I went back to pick up a few more bottles. The cashier that served me in the morning was standing next to the cashier that was serving me later today. She told her that I was most likely drunk and they called their manager to decide what to do. I was eventually served and left but I asked the manager why her colleague had deemed me drunk. She didn't have an answer. I do look very young so being ID'd is not my concern but whispering among themselves that I'm drunk has really put my hackles up.

OP posts:
bigbuttons · 23/03/2016 18:28

sorry, I keep repeating myself -v. tiring day at work

GooseberryRoolz · 23/03/2016 18:30

We don't know whether you had a swift one (or three) during the day OP, but I will tell you this, (something I know from living with my heavy drinking ex); In people who DO drink regularly, and are constantly topping themselves up, the smell of stale alcohol seeps from your pores. So you can smell like a heavy drinker even on days when you resist, even after a shower.

maggiethemagpie · 23/03/2016 18:32

Reminds me of the time I worked in a corner shop and you'd get all sorts in at 9 am buying bottles of white lightening. The worst was the old guy who bought a 3l bottle of white lightening along with a jazz mag and pack of fags. Every single day!

TattyCat · 23/03/2016 18:32

I'd be horrified if a cashier considered it appropriate to question my sobriety and certainly would be offended. However, if I was a bit tiddly and thought perhaps she had a point, I'd probably start a thread on MN!!

Really, if I hadn't been drinking, I'd be utterly outraged that any amount of alcohol I was buying was any of their bloody business!!! They are not there to monitor what I'm buying for what purpose. But if I was drunk, well... fair enough.

So, op, had you had a drink before going back? I don't recall whether you've confirmed that or not?

ElderlyKoreanLady · 23/03/2016 18:37

OP have they explained why they thought you were 'most likely drunk'? That probably has some sway here. Frankly I can't imagine them coming out with something like that right in front of you unless the had good reason to think you're drunk. They sell alcohol. The act of you buying it isn't really enough to come to that conclusion.

exWifebeginsat40 · 23/03/2016 18:39

i used to buy vodka at 8am and nobody batted an eyelid. mind you, i AM a raging alcoholic*

*now sober

IsmellSwell · 23/03/2016 18:42

There's a woman who buys 200 cigarettes a WEEK. Every week. We notice it because it's so unusual.

I sometimes buy 200 cigarettes a WEEK
I don't smoke.

I'm buying for a relation who doesn't drive and also buy for my disabled neighbor.
Should I buy a packet here and a packet here, all so that the shopkeepers don't 'talk' about me?

The OP has said she doesn't drive and that's why she has to buy from the corner shop. The shopkeepers should be ashamed at being so judgemental.

strawberryblondebint · 23/03/2016 18:45

This is the sort of post I might have made when I was drinking alcoholically and wanted reassurance that I wasn't that bad. I would have ignored the posts that didn't say what I wanted to hear and seized on the ones that sympathised and said OMG poor you, that's terrible, don't shop there again etc.
However that was me. I don't know the op and I don't know what or how much she drinks. Just putting it out there. I would have been drunk when I went back to get more. And the staff would have known that. And I still would have felt "how dare they" even though they were perfectly in their rights to not serve someone who was drunk. It was always poor me. Not like that now. And I hope the op is not in denial like I was

HermioneJeanGranger · 23/03/2016 18:46

I wasn't judging her Hmm just saying it's noticed because it doesn't happen that often! Not many people come in and buy that many every single week, so when it does happen, people pick up on it.

Alisvolatpropiis · 23/03/2016 18:48

Nat er no, they do it because they could lose their job/be personally fined.

Shitty attitude you have there.

NerrSnerr · 23/03/2016 18:48

There are major inconsistencies in this post. You're original post said you bought wine most days, not that this week you've bought it for a dinner parties.

GooseberryRoolz · 23/03/2016 18:49

I hope you're okay OP Flowers

lavenderdoilly · 23/03/2016 18:51

Op, just because you are active, have dinner parties and have a job that involves looking at contracts doesn’t mean you don't drink more than is healthy. Read back your posts to yourself. Unless you have misrepresented yourself you are setting off all kinds of alarm bells to people here who have lived with alcoholism.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 23/03/2016 18:53

Did you do anything that would lead them to label you as drunk? e.g
Swear at random shoppers?
Dance badly to the music playing?
Throw up in the freezer aisle?
Proposition the guy on the deli counter?

If no, then you should feel a bit offended.

Cutecat78 · 23/03/2016 18:53

I am aware of that having worked in a bar and in drugs and alcohol education - when working in a bar I always took that as couldn't stand - and I have never seen anyone refused in a shop.

GooseberryRoolz · 23/03/2016 18:55

Unless you have misrepresented yourself you are setting off all kinds of alarm bells to people here who have lived with alcoholism.

Yes, you really are.

Springdew · 23/03/2016 18:59

Op, did you mum dance and sing loudly down the aisles or did you pop ring doughnuts over your nipples? Grin goes to pour more wine helpful

GreenishMe · 23/03/2016 19:04

I wouldn't shop there anymore....their loss.

Order it online - judgement free.

callitdelta7 · 23/03/2016 19:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 23/03/2016 19:08

Sounds like you are talking from experience Springdew tut tut.

coffeeisnectar · 23/03/2016 19:13

You buy alcohol every day but the glass making dinner and the glass with dinner don't count.

You have been buying more this week because of a dinner party. Yet you didn't state that in your op which seems like a bit of self-defensive back peddling going on.

Only the two or three bottles you consume at the weekend count.

Actually, they all count. And you obviously have become noticed at the local shop for your alcohol buying.

The average person that doesn't drive tends to get a home delivery of food once a week with a small top up of milk/bread. Not a daily top up of wine and beer.

I do think you are in complete denial about your levels of drinking and you should actually keep a count of how much you drink each week. The recommend units are 14. A large glass of wine contains 3 units.

Scooterloo · 23/03/2016 19:13

How much the OP drinks is not the issue. She was judged because she had bought alcohol twice from the same store in one day.

The OP was not drunk, she presumably did not smell of drink. The assistant had no reason to question. Buying alcohol earlier is not the same as presumed having drunk it! Not only that, it was done openly. I would be complaining to the management.

Enjoy your dinner party.

Original poster
JustAnotherOP · 23/03/2016 19:16

I also have experience of alcoholism for all those hand-wringers Hmm

OP posts:
Original poster
JustAnotherOP · 23/03/2016 19:17

Scooterloo Thank you. I'm now wishing I hadn't have posted!

OP posts:
Cutecat78 · 23/03/2016 19:18

I think the way it works is the individual decides for themselves if they have a problem with alcohol.