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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you be offended by this - alcohol / chainstore related

148 replies

JustAnotherOP · 23/03/2016 16:40

Most mornings I do a shop for the day / week. I always pick up a bottle of wine or a few beers along the way.

This morning I went to the chainstore (my local), to buy wine. Later today I went back to pick up a few more bottles. The cashier that served me in the morning was standing next to the cashier that was serving me later today. She told her that I was most likely drunk and they called their manager to decide what to do. I was eventually served and left but I asked the manager why her colleague had deemed me drunk. She didn't have an answer. I do look very young so being ID'd is not my concern but whispering among themselves that I'm drunk has really put my hackles up.

OP posts:
Cutecat78 · 23/03/2016 19:18

But yet another total thread derailment in AIBU. Hmm

lavenderdoilly · 23/03/2016 19:20

Op said she shops daily /weekly and always picks up wine and beer. If she buys alcohol weekly no one gives a shit. If she has a dinner party and buys more than usual, no one gives a shit. If she buys alcohol daily then it'll be noticed by the staff.

Original poster
JustAnotherOP · 23/03/2016 19:21

Buying alcohol most days has nothing to do with having a dinner party.

TheCrumpettyTree Ummm... maybe we can settle on the idea that I made this whole thing up? Is that OK with you?

OP posts:
GooseberryRoolz · 23/03/2016 19:21

The OP was not drunk, she presumably did not smell of drink.

Why are you presuming that Scooter? Confused

OP clearly is very confused about how much she drinks, why she buys alcohol daily etc etc

HackerFucker22 · 23/03/2016 19:24

Have we ascertained how the OP does a weekly shop most days?

JustAnotherOP · 23/03/2016 19:24

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

HackerFucker22 · 23/03/2016 19:25

I remember getting raised eyebrows when I was buying 4 bottles of Baileys at 10am one morning I was noticeably pregnant and they were Xmas pressies. Almost half price. I love a bargain

Floggingmolly · 23/03/2016 19:29

Cot be fair, op, you did say that you always kept a stacked stock of alcohol...
I don't know how much this stash consists of, but if you've been adding to it once or twice a day for several weeks now, you are getting slightly carried away with this dinner party.
Unless you're holding it in the Royal Albert Hall.

TattyCat · 23/03/2016 19:32

Op, I'd be beyond furious that some jumped up little cashier decided I was drunk and shouldn't be served, just because I'd patronised their store twice in one day. Not a lot you can do about it other than complain and take your business elsewhere.

The staff were downright rude, so unless you were falling about, should be severely reprimanded for their officious judgeypantedness.

HopeClearwater · 23/03/2016 19:33

All the OP's posts are remarkably like having a conversation with someone with a drink problem. Request for reassurance, followed by argument with those disagreeing, inconsistent statements, denial and finally abuse (she called someone a twat). I've lived it.
Go elsewhere for your reassurance, OP. Maybe to the DRY thread. Or AA. You know what they say in AA? Better to be in an AA meeting wondering whether you're an alcoholic than in the pub next door trying to find out.

TattyCat · 23/03/2016 19:35

And I used to have a stack of bottles of wine - I had a wine rack that held 36 bottles and it was usually full. The only difference is that we ordered online regularly, so no twatty judging from anyone. We also had a houseful of people often (no wonder! Grin ).

IRegretNothing · 23/03/2016 19:35

If it helps any...I have the same feeling of shame about my sweets/chocolate purchases. I might sometimes rotate the shops I visit for fear of judgement. And I am clearly and undeniably fat whilst making said purchases too....

But, to get back to the point. Op, at this point, can no longer 'win'. Pretty much no matter what she says now will cause posters to claim she's in denial. Only she knows exactly how much she drinks. But I must admit, she has contradicted herself a few times which is a bit of a red flag.

OP, I would be offended at the heavy-handedness with which they dealt with this, irrespective of any potential drinking problem. I worked in retail and would notice people who bought alcohol several times a day. I would have had a word with my manager in private about what I should do the next time you visited. Not whilst you were right there. If I was really worried I would have called my manager over to serve you themselves so they could use their own judgement at their own risk and then explained my reasons to him/her after you'd left.

GooseberryRoolz · 23/03/2016 19:37

All the OP's posts are remarkably like having a conversation with someone with a drink problem.

Isn't it just? Complete with rapid obnoxious dives.

Let her get on with it. If she has a problem she'll bottom out eventually.

GooseberryRoolz · 23/03/2016 19:39

some jumped up little cashier

Christ. I do feel sorry for retail staff. She was doing her job Tatty. Snob off.

GreenishMe · 23/03/2016 19:41

All the OP's posts are remarkably like having a conversation with someone with a drink problem. Request for reassurance, followed by argument with those disagreeing, inconsistent statements, denial and finally abuse (she called someone a twat). I've lived it.
Go elsewhere for your reassurance, OP. Maybe to the DRY thread. Or AA. You know what they say in AA? Better to be in an AA meeting wondering whether you're an alcoholic than in the pub next door trying to find out.

....dear God Sad

OP I wouldn't continue on this shite thread anymore

hollinhurst84 · 23/03/2016 19:41

I'm confused by the 200 cigs a week. That's what, 28 a day? Not excessive
(Obviously I know smoking is bad for you etc etc but I'm working on a presumption of a 20 a day habit plus a couple more at the weekend if drinking)
I tend to buy mine in one go so I don't have to go out for them again

TattyCat · 23/03/2016 19:45

Christ. I do feel sorry for retail staff. She was doing her job Tatty. Snob off.

No, I bloody won't. That is my point exactly - pretty judgmental, eh?

GooseberryRoolz · 23/03/2016 19:48

What's your point? I can't see it. She was following the law as it applies to her job. Why does she deserve to be referred to as 'jumped up little'? How condescending can you get?

TattyCat · 23/03/2016 19:53

If Op was not drunk, then quite honestly, the cashier was behaving in a jumped up and patronising manner and judged her for buying alcohol twice in one day.

Op has not said she was drunk. Therefore, cashier was acting 'jumped up' unless Op was rolling around drunk.

If someone humiliated me in that way, I'd be making huge noise about it. It's offensive and presumptious behaviour.

TattyCat · 23/03/2016 19:55

She was following the law as it applies to her job. Accusing someone of being a drunkard because she's bought "too much" alcohol, in her opinion ? Hmm

GooseberryRoolz · 23/03/2016 19:59

Accusing someone of being a drunkard because she's bought "too much" alcohol, in her opinion ?

That's not what she did. She called a manager and the concern voiced was that the customer was drunk, not the quantity of alcohol she'd bought.

GooseberryRoolz · 23/03/2016 20:02

Even if they sometimes get it wrong, retail staff have to err on the side of caution. That doesn't make it alright to be snobby about them. I've been IDed more times than I can count, but it would be bizarre to hold their reasonable doubt against the cashier personally.

VinceNoirLovesHowardMoon · 23/03/2016 20:03

Of course nobody ever lies about having had a di no do they? Especially not to strangers on the Internet? Yes, far more likely that the cashier thought she was drunk because she bought booze twice in a day than the op tucked in to her wine stash early in the day. But whatever.

VinceNoirLovesHowardMoon · 23/03/2016 20:04

Di no = drink

lavenderdoilly · 23/03/2016 20:08

Op I've had my own op misread and all kinds of stuff extrapolated from it. You know the reality of this situation. Retail staff were just doing their job for fear of the sack. No doubt poorly trained. Count up your units. They all count. Make your own decision. And don't be rude to people who read your inconsistencies as a sign of a serious problem

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