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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To cancel DD birthday party?

336 replies

TheresHopeYet · 23/03/2016 07:15

DD is turning 4 and we have a party booked for her in two weeks time .

I handed out invites directly to parents 3 weeks ago with an RSVP date of TODAY!

I have not had a single RSVP. Not one . Angry

It's school holidays here and I do not know the parents well enough to chase them up or have phone numbers etc .

The balance of the party is due today ; it's £140. I have already paid a £20 deposit which I will lose .

If I cancel after paying the balance I will lose the lot .

Would you cancel? I could use the money to take DD away for the weekend instead.

I am worried though that a load of people will turn up at the party and we won't be there Blush

I need to decide today ! Help!

OP posts:
RTKangaMummy · 03/04/2016 23:03

So glad that your DD enjoyed her party with the few children that went along SmileSmileSmileSmile

Those other rude parents are obviously not nice people so forget about them AngryAngry

Xmasbaby11 · 03/04/2016 23:04

Gosh that's really rough. I cannot believe so many did not RSVP it turn up. I am glad your DD's close friends came!

I am quite nervous already about DD's next birthday as she'll be 5 in early Jan, so we have to hand out invites when everyone is full of Christmasness. She isn't in school yet so previous birthdays have been my friends and their children, so it wasn't an issue. It all sounds very stressful!

Iflyaway · 03/04/2016 23:16

Early January NEXT year?!

No wonder you lot are stressed...

Can barely get my head around Spring has sprung 2016! Grin

Grin and bear it, will all work out wonderfully.. hide the wine haha Got 24 year's parties single mum under my belt... Smile

Beeziekn33ze · 04/04/2016 00:01

Her party need not be the same week as her birthday in 2017, why not have it at the end of January to avoid the busy time around Christmas ? Enjoy anyway!

Isetan · 04/04/2016 05:38

I had this last week with DD and I was seriously hacked off, chasing down parents who were totally oblivious. Fortunately, DD knew where everybody lived and In the end there was one no show but the whole thing was made unnecessarily stressful.

Personally, I would cancel and the people who pitch up on the day have only themselves to blame.

Youarentkiddingme · 04/04/2016 06:49

I'm glad your Dd had a good time and has some 'besties!'

I'd do a little investigating as I reason another child has a birthday at same time. If 6/25 turned up - allowing for a few who don't attend/ill/busy - I'd guess another child has a party and had a smaller guess list of 10-12. It would account for the quick excuses at the time.

If you know this you can have DD party at a different time next year!

Cocochoco · 04/04/2016 09:28

xmas baby My kid has early Jan birthday parties. It's a busy weekend as lots of kids with a Christmas birthday have their party that weekend. So I'd definitely send out the invites in early Dec. As they get older and their friendship groups become more fixed it gets easier - I sent text invites a couple of days after Xmas for a party four days later. Pretty much everyone came.

Lymmmummy · 04/04/2016 11:20

So glad you didn't cancel so glad DD had a fab time and so glad you updated us

I posted earlier on in the thread because I was also having DD 5th birthday party on 2 April so was feeling your pain a bit my party went well so am not complaining but I was staggered by the amount of declines some of which came quite late in the day - i also made classic mistake of doing party list early myself to be prepared but when DD showed me her list there were a few differences and I wish I had just let her pick the whole list as many of the declines came from people I thought we should invite rather than those DD chose - nonetheless she had loads of mates there so was fine. 16 said they were coming and 16 came - nobody who didn't rsvp turned up

But I think the important thing to remember in all this is - it's nothing personal to you or your daughter though I know it must feel like it is - these same parents probably behave like this generally and you need to remember you are the better person - and in time you will meet more decent parents along the way. I think as parents we also have an idea of what children would like which can be different from what they actually would like - parent feels need to do large party - child happier with small party type thing - parent things xyz child should come but child actually wants abc child etc

You have also learnt a vital lesson that when people do not rsvp in general it does mean they will not come - I know this varies across the country but in your case (like in mine) this has been true and with this knowledge you can do it differently next year - invite small number of closer friends or cut down earlier on expense/change plans if the rsvp levels are low. Additionally if you wanted to do the large party thing again (why!!) you could ask for the class list so you can be sure your party less likely to clash with birthday of another child

NeedACleverNN · 04/04/2016 11:36

I'm with you on the never again OP.

I had a party for my dd two weeks ago.

I invited 7 children, two who were cousins who were definitely going to be there.

So that was 5 friends.

Out of 5.........1 turned up.

2 never replied despite agreeing when the party was being organised and two cancelled the night before.

To make things worse Dd woke up a bit under the weather that morning that descended go full on illness by the time we got to the party.

She didn't want to go and play(soft play) she didn't want to open presents, she didn't want to blow out her candles or eat any food.

She just wanted to cuddle up on dh's knee and cry.

Never again!

BudsBeginingSpringinSight · 04/04/2016 12:23

great up date op.

what a stinker though,

wonder if schools could send round etticute guides on this, YES I KNOW ITS NOT REALLY TO DO WITH THEM but, its taking place through them as it were....

If a parent has kindly invited your child to a party, its basic good manners to respond as quickly as you can either way etc.

Janecc · 04/04/2016 14:04

Glad your DD had a great time! The playground really can be harder on the parents!

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