To cancel DD birthday party?

[TheresHopeYet]

DD is turning 4 and we have a party booked for her in two weeks time .

I handed out invites directly to parents 3 weeks ago with an RSVP date of TODAY!

I have not had a single RSVP. Not one .

It's school holidays here and I do not know the parents well enough to chase them up or have phone numbers etc .

The balance of the party is due today ; it's £140. I have already paid a £20 deposit which I will lose .

If I cancel after paying the balance I will lose the lot .

Would you cancel? I could use the money to take DD away for the weekend instead.

I am worried though that a load of people will turn up at the party and we won't be there

I need to decide today ! Help!

I would always put please RSVP by a certain date as I need to let event know definite numbers.

Class lists - easy

Stick a4 paper on classroom door with name of child. Name of parents/nanny and contact details along the top and grid lines underneath

Put yours at top and parents will follow

Not every one will though Blondes and some people might have issues with it because of Data Protection.

Some may not but bet many will :)

So much easier in private schools when we just get a class list

Blondes
Does the class teacher not object to you sticking stuff up in the classroom? I know I would.

Also, sticking it to the classroom door other parents would assume that the list was for the school. They might not want you to have their number but would happily give it to the school.

Who is putting a class list together in other schools? I'm intrigued by the organsiation.

Larger primaries often seem to have a Class Rep. Someone with kids in the older classes volunteers when a younger starts Reception. They take all contact info for people and then send a list around with those willing to be on it.

DS is at a tiny village school now so not applicable. But I think the class rep system is common in larger intakes if the catchment is quite a small area?

My DCs primary had a class rep (or two) for each class, usually experienced parents for reception. They put together class lists and drummed up help for the Fetes, and might organise socials. Most people were willing to give some kind of contact details.

At secondary one of my DCs had an unofficial class rep, she just go people to sign up at a "meet the teacher" meeting at the start.

Its very helpful if only when you discover you have someone else's PE kit etc.

The last party we held, which was an all form party, we had hardly any Rsvps until a few days before the event. And then we had loads of kids just turn up on the day. So I expect similar will probably happen with you as well.

My first thought on reading the op was 'why on Earth are you handing out invites five weeks before a kids party?!'

Not RSVPing is rude - but you gave the invites out so far in advance op that it's likely some parents would have looked at the invite, stuck it on the calendar and thought 'Good grief that's ages away', then forgotten - hence the lack of RSVPs.

It seems really weird to me. Invites in my ds's class are given a week in advance, 10 days sometimes, or two weeks absolute maximum. I'd be concerned people would actually forget if you tell them so ridiculously far in advance.

It's so rude but at least you know it happens to everyone op, it's not you or your dd who are at fault here

The last party I did for ds2 was a ski boarding thing and had only invited 8 as it was expensive. So I put in bold on the invite that if I hadn't heard by a certain date the place would be given to someone else as there were only a few places. I STILL had to ask one mum on the date.
But I did just ask other friends (a cousin and a sibling who was more than fine with being a replacement)

Why not cancel, sending out another note to parents explaining that as no one responded it appears that no-one was able to attend on the date. Then at least no -one should turn up.

ask the teacher to put a note in the class folders that go home with the kids . Cd give a different reason for the cancellation if you want to.

Minecraft I often handed out invites that early as my children's birthdays are in school holiday and I wanted to give people notice.

Never prevented RSVP's or people turning up. People are either rude or they are not. I actually got irritated by invites at too short notice.

"Not RSVPing is rude - but you gave the invites out so far in advance op that it's likely some parents would have looked at the invite, stuck it on the calendar and thought 'Good grief that's ages away', then forgotten - hence the lack of RSVPs."

this is what has happened. no way would an invite 5 weeks away get a response from me. i don't know what we're doing in 5 weekends time and i'm sorry but a child's birthday party doesn't take priority over everything else in our lives. I MUCH prefer short notice invites. the shorter the better!! At least then i know if we're free or not.

tedd then the answer is to RSVP and say sorry can't come.

She handed the invitations out early because:

1. The venue had an early balance/final numbers date.

1. There is an intervening school holiday.

RTFT, ffs.

5 weeks isn't to long

Those who say they don't know what they are doing in 5 weeks actually mean I'm
Not going to accept now incase get a better offer

If diary is free you put party in

If diary isn't you say no your child can't go

I'd be quite happy to receive an invitation up to 6 weeks in advance. I will accept straight away if we're free, or decline straight away if not free or really don't want to attend.

That way the host knows where they stand and if they need to discreetly invite a few more in good time if numbers aren't high enough.

I agree it's impolite to wait and see if you get a better offer, or to back out once you've accepted, unless it's due to illness or something really important. Just reply either way.

5 weeks isn't to long. Those who say they don't know what they are doing in 5 weeks actually mean I'm Not going to accept now incase get a better offer hmm. If diary is free you put party in. If diary isn't you say no your child can't go

This with bells on

minecraftymum you are bloody rude to stick an invite on your notice board and think good grief I can't possibly know what I'm doing in five weeks, and then think it's perfectly acceptable not to rsvp until the last minute. If you don't want to commit then say no, or at least ask the parent if you can let them know nearer the time.

i don't know what we're doing in 5 weekends time

But surely that's the entire point of someone sending invitations early? So people are less likely to have booked up that weekend already?

Poor you OP. It sounds as though you've got a class full of rude/snobby/cliquey parents that don't reply in case they get a better offer. Personally I would cancel and take my daughter elsewhere, I wouldn't risk her standing there waiting and nobody turning up. That would be so heartbreaking for her. If any parents say they turned up say you cancelled it because not one person had the manners to reply and you didn't want your daughter to get hurt.

Well said sleeponeday

A week's notice for a party is ridiculous. The OP did the right thing. I would have plans a week before and certainly wouldn't accept a party at such short notice. I'd assume we were a replacement invite! Around here class list is the norm, invites about a month before are the norm, everyone bar one or two responds on time. You put it in your diary. The party mum sends our a text, whatsapp or email a couple of days before to remind people. It's just not that difficult.