to think that she is being a bit petty about this?

[ciabattav0nbreadstickz]

DSS (Dp's son), lost his coat a few weeks ago when he came over for contact. He visited some other family members that weekend and the coat never came back, we've looked and they have looked but the coat appears to be gone.

Dp told his ex about this straight away, obviously apologised that the coat has gone missing but since DSS has another coat anyway didn't think it would be a huge deal.

Dp's ex has since bought a replacement coat (even though he already has another one), and is now insisting that Dp buy him a new one to replace the lost one. This would then mean he has 3 coats, none of which would be kept at our place.

Aibu to think she is being a bit petty? I mean, the coat was lost while DSS was under Dp's care so fair enough he is responsible for replacing the coat, but since she has already replaced it, why is she insisting that he buy another one? If it was a coat he would keep at ours and use when he's with us, fair enough. But she wants to keep it at hers. Also, she does not want Dp to give her the money for the cost of the new one she bought, she wants him to buy another one.

She is also insisting that he buy a brand new (as in, not second hand) coat, and she is very fussy about brands so it has to be a particular brand that she wants him to buy. So buying a cheap coat from a charity shop etc isn't good enough.

Aibu to think she is being a bit grabby?

You pretty much would be if the one I lent you was the latest model and fairly new

Sorry I'm procrastinating

I'm just desperate to know what people's kids do to require more coats than my mud and paint magnet 4 year old, who manages just fine with two.

I think the ex and your after should start putting the child first. Sounds as if. He is living in the middle of a ar zone which must be murdet for him and he will feel torn but eventually will take advantage of the situation and play one off against the other. Sounds senseless as children grow out of things so quickly but after this I would be very careful to check all clothes every time or could prove expensive. Perhaps the child should be taught to take more care of his possessions.

OP yes she is being grabby. If kid had 2 coats before, he can stick to 2 coats now.

Not read all the posts but can't believe so many think more than one coat necessary. My dc have always had one coat each with the old, slightly small one, kept as reserve for emergencies and rarely if ever used. Maybe it teaches them to be more careful with them if they don't have so many.

As far as the question goes, I'd put a reasonable sum of money towards the cost of the replacement coat but wouldn't be pandering to brand snobbery. So around £20-£30 would be more than enough.

Fucks sake - this still going on !!!

Sock I see your Merc and raise you to an Audi R8, and damn right he who smashed my (imaginary) one would be replacing it with another new sparkly one

Good luck whatever you've decided.

wish if someone lost your fav peppa pig socks would you be happy with boring grey ones to replace.

Sorry getting silly now,most because cant be bothered to even reach for the remote to change the channel

I don't think there is necessarily anything wrong with charity shop clothing, however if my DS's coat was lost when visiting his dad I would expect it to be replaced with either the same or something very similar, not a cheaper version. It would be wrong of the ex to dictate what your DP buys for the boy, but in this instance she is only dictating what is bought as a replacement for something she originally bought herself. I don't think 3 coats is excessive either for a young child and if you see DSS EOW, then as a growing boy that is not enough to get proper wear out of a new coat if it's kept at your home.
Personally I think you are coming across as the petty one in this situation not the ex, especially when you're making comments on her financial situation even though it's nothing to do with you.

I'm surprised that you can buy coats in the shops at the moment. Aren't they already full of shorts and T shirts for the summer that might never come?

Needs Absolutely not. Not even for pink soft fluffy bed socks. I would want my Peppa Pig ones

Any sign of the OP or d'you think she's done one now that we've, erm, taken coatgate to the next surreal and equally daft level?