to think that she is being a bit petty about this?

[ciabattav0nbreadstickz]

DSS (Dp's son), lost his coat a few weeks ago when he came over for contact. He visited some other family members that weekend and the coat never came back, we've looked and they have looked but the coat appears to be gone.

Dp told his ex about this straight away, obviously apologised that the coat has gone missing but since DSS has another coat anyway didn't think it would be a huge deal.

Dp's ex has since bought a replacement coat (even though he already has another one), and is now insisting that Dp buy him a new one to replace the lost one. This would then mean he has 3 coats, none of which would be kept at our place.

Aibu to think she is being a bit petty? I mean, the coat was lost while DSS was under Dp's care so fair enough he is responsible for replacing the coat, but since she has already replaced it, why is she insisting that he buy another one? If it was a coat he would keep at ours and use when he's with us, fair enough. But she wants to keep it at hers. Also, she does not want Dp to give her the money for the cost of the new one she bought, she wants him to buy another one.

She is also insisting that he buy a brand new (as in, not second hand) coat, and she is very fussy about brands so it has to be a particular brand that she wants him to buy. So buying a cheap coat from a charity shop etc isn't good enough.

Aibu to think she is being a bit grabby?

It's up to her if she wants to buy her child a coat isn't it. The point still remains that his coat was lost whilst with you, and she wants it replaced with a new one, not one from a charity shop. So why not just do the decent thing and replace the coat, rather than question what she chooses to spend her money on, which has nothing to do with anyone but herself.

Ffs Dancing read the thread!

Got it in one Marilyn

She doesn't want money, she wants the coat, so that's what she should get.
And there's me teaching my kids 'I want doesn't get'

Did somebody send out a klaxon for the second wives club
Because none of you are showing yourselves up to be petty and contrary at all. No siree

Ah, Marylin, you've rumbled me! That's the exact situation, right down to the salt mine

Lizzylou I'm not projecting anything. You don't know a single thing about me.

"I want doesn't get" or "its ok kids if you lose something that belongs to someone else you won't have to replace it"

I am sure you have read the thread dancing because you've got it bang on. Simple really isn't it?

Or 'never accept an apology and the offer of payment when you can have a good tantrum'

No tantrums about just replacing the coat they lost though is there? Oh no

It wasnt Nicki that mentioned 9 coats it was me, and it wasn't a boast, stealth or otherwise.

It was in response to those posters saying they were bemused that some kids have more than 1 or 2 coats and those that really wanted to know why some people don't like charity shops.

You don't know a single thing about me.

Nothing has ever stopped you from thinking you've got me sussed out.

Not nice is it?

Really?
So Father's have no say in anything to do with their children after a relationship breaks down?
50 coats for a 7 yr old boy are better than a bit of practicality and sensible thinking, far better to point score?

Oh it's YOU! . I'm sorry I don't tend to notice names. Oh that explains a LOT.

And Lizzy no her finances and household have precisely nothing to do with her ex. Why on earth would you think they do? That you think that explains all your responses on this thread and says a lot about you. It's something we will never agree on no matter how much we post back and forth so hopefully you won't mind if I ignore you from here on.

OP says 'AIBU to think she is being a bit grabby?'

OP then says, 'I didn't call her grabby, another poster did'

OP says ' she has already bought a replacement'

Someone else then says if they were in the mothers position ' Why should I be trailing round the shops looking for a coat? '

OP replies to that poster with ' She had already bought THE coat so didn't have to go out looking for another one'

OP then says 'she bought a replacement before any of us had really noticed

TripTrap has a raised eyebrow and wonders if the OP is just trying every line she can to try and make the mother look unreasonable and 'grabby' and the op as a truly awesome charity shop warrier, who wants to save the world

-we're sorry the coat was lost on our watch, we definitely cannot find it. We'll give you the money for a replacement

• NO!!!! I WANT A COAT AND THAT IS WHAT I SHOULD GET

Not tantrummy at all.

I never said it was Nicki, I was merely referencing your irrelevant posts, sorry.
The number of coats (over 2 anyway) and charity shop stuff are red herrings. This is just bonkers.

I've got loads of coats. Smart cost. Warm coat. Casual Spring cost. Casual other Spring cost. Waterproof jacket. Ski jacket. Down jacket. I can see why she wants another coat :-)

If her finances have nothing to with him, do his have anything to do with her?
You can't have it both ways!
Petty squabbling like this is just shit for kids.

9 coats ??? Wtf ... Is this normal ? As we have 8 dcs that would mean 72 coats fuck me, need another house just as a coat store. Not a stealth boast ? What is it then, do you have some sort of obsessive coat buying malady ..can you get pills for it ?

Or "here's the money for the coat"

Ex - "I would like you to actually replace the coat itself please?"

We can't know really can we, seeing as none of us are actually there.

Yep, it's me alright
How you doing Nick?

I'm doing great now those two are out of my life