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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

SIL and Dogs!

527 replies

DillyDingDillyDong · 14/03/2016 11:17

NC for this. Not sure if this is more of a WWYD or possibly just a rant!

It's DS's birthday on Friday and we're having a little party in our house on Saturday. There will be about 20 adults and ten children from 1-8.

SIL doesn't have any children, quite often makes a point of saying she doesn't want any, but has two dogs. She text DH last night to see if we needed her to bring anything and DH asked if she could pick a cake up from Costco on the way to save us doing it on Friday. She replied saying that she wouldn't have room in the car for the cake with the dogs being in there.

DH replied asking why the dogs would be in the car and she replied saying that she wouldn't be able to leave them at home for the few hours she is out at the party.

DH ended up calling her up and telling her that the dogs wouldn't be able to come, she then went on to say how the weekend is her time with the dogs and she doesn't want to leave them. She also knows that we've recently had our garden done and so said it would be really nice for them to be able to play outside. He just repeated that the dogs weren't able to come as we are possibly getting a bouncy castle on the day(our friend owns one and can give it to us last minute) if the weather is ok. She accused him of making this up and that he should have made it clear the invite wasn't for the whole family before saying that if her dogs went welcome then she wouldn't be comings do then hung up. DH was just in shock and we couldn't think of anything else to say to her. If she wants to miss her nephews first birthday because she can't leave the dogs for four hours at the most despite leaving them from half seven to half seven every day at work then it's up to her.

She text me earlier to ask if DH had told me what she had said. I replied and said he had and that it was a shame for her to miss the party but the dogs can't come and we had assumed that she would have known that. She replied saying it was a shame that we didn't recognise that the dogs are part of her family. I said that I know she cares about her dogs but this is a child's party and we don't want them here for it. She has just replied with this text

"I feel like you don't realise how important they are to me. They are my family, my babies. I would never not invite DS to my house or say he wasn't welcome or suggest you leave him at home or with a sitter. I'm not going to come on Saturday. I haven't seen DSsince Christmas and was looking forward to it but it's unfair to ask me to give up time with the boys when I get to spend so little time with them as it is."

I am sat here just in disbelief. I don't even know what to say to her.

I know I'm not being unreasonable not inviting the dogs to my house. I just have no idea where to go with this now. DH is in a meeting until one so I can't even call him to tell him what's been said. My jaw is aching from my face just being like this Shock for the last ten minutes! She's always been very precious about the dogs and didn't come to a Christmas Eve thing at our old flat because we didn't have space for the dogs and all the presents were out under the tree etc. But I thought she would be a bit more reasonable about leaving them for a few hours to see DS.

Does anyone have any advice please?!

OP posts:
Leeds2 · 19/03/2016 18:46

Hope you all had a lovely day, and that the sun shone brightly!

IceBeing · 19/03/2016 19:11

Hope the birthday was fab - this thread was superb!

Smilecherishdream2016 · 19/03/2016 19:13

Your here too Ice being I've reported you .

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 19/03/2016 19:17

Why have you reported IceBeing Confused? That was a nice post.

MidniteScribbler · 19/03/2016 19:20

I guess I'm in the minority, but I find this thread is really unpleasant reading. SIL is acting poorly, but all the 'she's a loon', and posting her facebook status online is really not on. The OP seems to be getting some sort of sick pleasure out of this. As the OP had problems conceiving, I would hope that she might have a bit of empathy for a SIL that is obviously struggling when it comes to issues surrounding children, instead of her seemingly gleeful 'look, I produced a 'real' grandchild'. Now everyone is hanging around wanting SIL to do something 'bonkers' like they're baying for blood. SIL seems to have real issues and doesn't need to be the source of ridicule on an internet forum.

Sunshine87 · 19/03/2016 19:31

Midnight what have you been reading? Obviously a different thread! A dog isn't a grandchild. Sil doesn't want children..no where has it been stated she can't.

IceBeing · 19/03/2016 19:39

smile well thanks for the heads up...I will do my best to find a crap to give...honestly.

Alisvolatpropiis · 19/03/2016 19:56

She's a complete dick!

I hope you've had a lovely time celebrating your son's first birthday.

I have a 9 month old daughter and two dogs. At her first birthday get together they will be going elsewhere. I don't want my guests or dogs to feel on edge so the two shall not mix.

Waltermittythesequel · 19/03/2016 19:58

Reported, smile? Confused

NeedACleverNN · 19/03/2016 19:59

Eh? Why have you reported Ice?

Cocolepew · 19/03/2016 20:01

Why was ice reported? Confused

Gowgirl · 19/03/2016 20:02

What you done ice?
Grin

littleshirleybeans · 19/03/2016 20:13

Hope the party went well and that your wee one had a lovely time.
I have a pic of my ds at his first birthday, he's eating a little cupcake (got ones made with his picture on them, cost me a bomb but he was my pfb 😂)
his face was a picture as it was the first time he'd had sugar! Stealth boast Grin

Smilecherishdream2016 · 19/03/2016 20:22

They say sarcasm is lowest form of wit... So on with ya Ice

NeedACleverNN · 19/03/2016 20:24

Does anyone else feel like they are missing something?

AHobbyaweek · 19/03/2016 20:25

Any update OP?
Also Smile, What?

MrsDeVere · 19/03/2016 20:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AddToBasket · 19/03/2016 20:33

How was the party, OP? Did it rain? Grin

wheresthel1ght · 19/03/2016 20:44

Is smile the sil or something?? Utterly confused as to why ice has been reported!

Gowgirl · 19/03/2016 20:58

Stamping feet here!
Did I miss something?

foxessocks · 19/03/2016 21:02

Place marking!

Ememem84 · 19/03/2016 21:08

Yo!! op hope you had a great party!

pootlebug · 19/03/2016 21:26

Hope you had a great party, OP

I am new to this thread and just read it in amazement. Have I got the wrong end of the stick - this is a sponsored dog-walk your SIL is doing? Eh? If you have a dog, you walk it 2-3 times a day, don't you? So what is with being sponsored to do it? That's like being sponsored to flush the loo or put the bins out or dry the dishes, surely?

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 19/03/2016 21:35

Behave people or this lovely funny entertaining thread will be deleted. And then I will never know if the DS got his bouncy castle and whether he enjoyed it.

IceBeing · 19/03/2016 21:38

gowgirl I am not quite sure on this occasion - I have usually done something dreadful though, to be fair..

All I have to do these days is open my mouth on MN and I seem to have people jumping down my throat (and not in the fun way).

Maybe I should read the writing on the wall and just quit! But I miss the good ol' days (and pissing around in IPOAT hall).

I just liked this thread...didn't think for once, that this would be a controversial view point

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