To think exDH's wife is a fucking loon

[Redowlinmytree]

Last week I asked ex if he would mind chaining days this week so he has the kids tonight instead of Wednesday, he said fine no problem will have them both days instead will be nice to have them for an extra night.

There was no particular reason other than I've got a late GP appt and need DP to come too (couple issue!). Will be easier without DC. TBH I never ask ex to swap days around so this is a rarity. I didn't tell ex why I needed to swap although he did ask and I was vague!

Had a text from ex's wife this morning

Hi red, I know DH said we could have DC tonight, just wondering if it is urgent as we do have plans tonight. DH loves to see kids so doesn't like to say no, just wondered if we could do another night instead? {and some other stuff about a birthday coming up}

I text back saying no not really as we had plans, sorry if it was an inconvenience but ex seemed ok with it

Just had this reply: Yes well he doesn't like to say no to you or seeing the kids. To be fair think its a bit off asking us to have kids so you can celebrate steak and BJ night (guessing thats why you want the night off, ex said you were vague about why!) Apologies if i've got the wrong end of the stick but seems quite obvious to me. Anyway don't worry, we will be glad to have them, enjoy your night.

She's a fucking loon right?

snowflake

It is none of their business about why the op asked to swap days....I don't think her ex/his wife would be expected to tell the OP, what their plans were if they wanted to swap days. Also, as the op said she has never asked to swap before, so personally the SM has overreacted and should reign it in (and express her dissatisfaction to her husband if she had plans and they have had to change them).

Also, the OP and her DP may work FT so may not be able to make an appointment when the children are at school.

Just spat out my coffee at Artichokes and Anal'

That is absolutely and categorically NOT the OP's problem.

Specialsnowflake, you sound like the kind of troll my ex is married to. Do you dictate which of his children he's allowed to see on any given day too? If not, you've got scope for worsening your step-parent skills a little more than you already have.

OP, I hope your ex sticks to his word, and I hope your appointment goes well.

Totally agree nikki.....the Ex's wife should never have text her and should take it up with her husband.

I'm blindsided by the fact I've bought steak for tonight's dinner not knowing the connotations....hope hubby is unaware too lol

And the fact that she's never asked to swap before and got this response the first time she did might indicate that the SM is not a particularly reasonable person. In fact and I am obviously just musing to myself here, I would be wondering if there was actually a deep seated resentment of my children and their contact with their father for her to respond immediately and unpleasantly in this way to the idea of one extra day.

You'll have to slice it up and do something chinese with it juls

I think I would simply reply with the question whether she meant to be rude or tacky?

I would then say I will sort out the access arrangements with the children's father and would expect no further communications from her as she doesn't know how to conduct herself with respect.

I couldn't not reply but I'd just say "Apology accepted because you have indeed got the wrong end of the stick."

I disagree that saying nothing in these situations means 'taking the high ground'. I reckon it simply leaves the nob end thinking "That showed her ".

Good lord nicky that is quite a leap. I can see why you chose your name

Maybe i'm naive, but maybe she's just had a shit day and DP has pushed her over the edge - maybe with some crack about Steak & BJ day.

If its a one off sometimes its nice to be a little tolerant of people behaving like tits - unless she is in fact bat shit crazy and the OP is correct.

If the SM has an issue with having the children for an extra day then she should take it up with her husband, it's got nothing to do with the OP. And the SM is bang out of order for texting the OP like that. If she thinks the OP is taking the piss then she should discuss it with her husband so that HE can take it up with the OP.

Just what is steak and bj night?

I only learned recently that some people expect it on their Birthday.

Now it's a weekly thing? Just why?

Because I am a superhero?

You're right Nicki, she certainly doesn't. I just find it a bit upsetting that sometimes the default position can be "well the (ie any) SM shouldn't be involved in plans". This rude bitch doesn't exactly help to fight against the stereotype

Anyway, I'm waffling now

Well it seems to me that maybe the step mum had planned something & not told Ops ex?

Something to do with "steak & bj" as it seems to be in the forefront of her mind??

But she does end the text by saying "don't worry, we''ll be glad to have them", so no response is necessary, is it?

All Op can do if she wants to change in future is to ask her ex if he is sure that nothing is planned?

Nope, fucking scary!

Nob end in general; not calling the SM a nob end.

But she does end the text by saying "don't worry, we''ll be glad to have them", so no response is necessary, is it?

On it's own, there's nothing wrong with this phrase.

But coming at the end of the text as sent by the Ex's DW, then it seems very PA to me.

Fine by me

I don't think it's a "she's a step-mum and shouldn't be involved", thing - this woman is just weird anyway and happens to be a step-parent....

I had no idea that steak and BJ day was a "thing" and had forgotten that it was Pi day (although geeky ds had told me at the weekend). However, I've been shopping today and what did I buy............steak pie! What is going on there?!

Well special snowflake you are indeed what your name suggests

Sorry encroach on XH? I do believe anyone's father is 50% of the making a child process yet oh no his time mustn't be encroached on, why the hell not he made the kids! And the new wife presumably knew he had those responsibilities!

Can appointments be made in the day excellent good and of course you know being a mum doesn't rule out having a full time job, especially when your separated and have to provide for your children, or do school uniform and food come free in your neck of the woods?!

And why the hell does the XH or his new wife need to know the ins and out of the ops private life?£ their divorced for a reason it's no longer any of his business

I would imagine OP and SM must be generally on fairly good terms as surely you wouldn't bandy stuff about relating to blow jobs if you had a fairly stiff (so to speak!) formal relationship with someone?

YANBU. My response would be "you certainly have got the wrong end of the stick and arrangements regarding my children are between ex and I, if you have a problem, speak to him instead of going behind his back and texting me making vulgar insinuations oh and you can still have your s and bj night after the kids are in bed, seems quite obvious to me that what your plans are"

She is just pissed off because she did have a steak and bj night planned (what a load of shite that sounds, I had no idea it was an actual thing!).