To think exDH's wife is a fucking loon

[Redowlinmytree]

Last week I asked ex if he would mind chaining days this week so he has the kids tonight instead of Wednesday, he said fine no problem will have them both days instead will be nice to have them for an extra night.

There was no particular reason other than I've got a late GP appt and need DP to come too (couple issue!). Will be easier without DC. TBH I never ask ex to swap days around so this is a rarity. I didn't tell ex why I needed to swap although he did ask and I was vague!

Had a text from ex's wife this morning

Hi red, I know DH said we could have DC tonight, just wondering if it is urgent as we do have plans tonight. DH loves to see kids so doesn't like to say no, just wondered if we could do another night instead? {and some other stuff about a birthday coming up}

I text back saying no not really as we had plans, sorry if it was an inconvenience but ex seemed ok with it

Just had this reply: Yes well he doesn't like to say no to you or seeing the kids. To be fair think its a bit off asking us to have kids so you can celebrate steak and BJ night (guessing thats why you want the night off, ex said you were vague about why!) Apologies if i've got the wrong end of the stick but seems quite obvious to me. Anyway don't worry, we will be glad to have them, enjoy your night.

She's a fucking loon right?

[Lanark2]

Try texting 'haha lol'..then waiting a bit, then '(I mean no obv. A deal's a deal)

Then 'maybe its also rabbit and no fucks given night as well?!?!....lol...winky face..see you on the flip side (sober side) haha xxxxx'

That should out loonher reasonably well...

[Lanark2]

Or just 'if you're drinking, please confirm as will call SS'

Then pause

Then 'HITLERS SS IF YOU ARENT SHARP ABOUT IT!!!!'

Thar should draw out the bitchiness from the boil...haha

[Butteredparsnips]

Apparently it's also pi/pie day (3.14). I'd rather have pie.

Hope the appt went ok.

[hogbreath]

I thought the female equivelant was chicken n lickin.

[Lanark2]

These day names are vile..but I think chicken licken is much more about the sky falling in, than the earth moving...

[SirChenjin]

Friend DH posted a photo of the steak his wife was cooking yesterday with a caption "wonder if she knows what day it is?" - which was proceeded by lots of nudge nudge type comments. I had genuinely no idea this was even a thing until this thread. I wish I still had no idea.

[Piwi1625]

It's not her business! From when the the ex has agreed to have the kids that should have been end of! It's not like you ask to swap days often - in fact I don't believe he had a problem with it due to the fact he offered to have them both days, it's her being childish! Screenshot the message and show him what she's sent.

[TheMrsD]

This has totally put me off steak.

[Munn83]

Maybe she was looking forward to celebrating steak and BJ night lol... I'd let your ex know what's been said and let them sort it out, she sounds like she's just trying to control the situation

[BillSykesDog]

14th March is my DS birthday and S&BJ day is just vile being on the same day, I hate it. Yuck.

[ProphetOfDoom]

Must have missed the M&S ad for Steak & BJ night.

[ProphetOfDoom]

'Given nature of the text, best if communication regarding the children is between ourselves.'

[glowfrog]

I think it's kind of rude and OTT on her part but calling her a loon is a little much, too.

That being said, as DW to a man with 2 kids for 12 years now, I have never ever contacted his ex to discuss arrangements with her. It would never have occurred to me. When I've had something to say about it for whatever reason, I've discussed it with my husband!

Also - kids have to take priority. Always knew he was a packaged deal. Mostly it's been fine as the kids are great and I've always enjoyed spending time with them - a couple of times I might have preferred a holiday just the 2 of us - but like I said, package deal and kids have to be the priority.

[PrettyBrightFireflies]

glow I think there's a difference between "taking priority" and "dropping everything" when it comes to DCs though.

Obviously there is more to it in the OPs case, but it's one thing to cancel a regular gym visit with your DP to accommodate the RPs needs and have additional contact, another thing entirely to cancel a theatre trip or plans for a weekend away for anything other than an RPs emergency.

I remember curtailing a planned day out with DP when my ex called to say his DPs father had died suddenly - I wouldn't have cancelled it if he'd called me the night before and said he'd scheduled an appointment for the day and could I have DD.

[ProcrastinatorGeneral]

PrettyBright you often can't schedule appointments, they've given and if you cancel you go back on a wait list or you forfeit treatment altogether. A theatre trip is of fuck all consequence when you need to step up and actually bloody parent.

[4Roseycheeks]

Just let it go, say thank you and that you hope to help her out some time. She'll simply feel a bit silly and you can go to the Dr and then have a steak and BJ in peace. ZEN!

[oliviaclottedcream]

REF to Only1scoop post. So she, (his DP) texts you with unpleasantness, paranoia, mentalness and makes accusations against you. Whilst your ex was understanding, helpful, and flexible. But er -- it's all his fault???!

[PrettyBrightFireflies]

A theatre trip is of fuck all consequence when you need to step up and actually bloody parent

Well, my DD seems to have survived despite me not dropping everything for her at the last minute.
Sorry, but no - if I have theatre booked during DDs time with her Dad and he calls me to ask if I can swap because of something that he has arranged (as opposed to an emergency) - the answer is no - he needs to arrange childcare.
That's not crap parenting - that's having a life.

[Moocachoo]

Fwd to your ex and say it's a medical appt and you would appreciate not being contacted by her over your children unless it's an emergency. She's threatened and a loon!

[Mysteries]

I'd be worried about how she will treat your children when they are at your ex's house.

[Bogeyface]

Mysteries I thought that. Its very indicative of how she sees the kids isnt it? Seems that she sees their visits as something to be endured rather than enjoyed and actively embraced.

[ThumbWitchesAbroad]

Doesn't seem to me, from the exH's last text, that his W will be around, she'll be at the gym as usual, he won't. He'll be looking after his children, which he's delighted to do. Maybe he doesn't want to go to the gym; or maybe he just thinks an opportunity to spend an extra evening with his DC is just that bit more interesting than going to the gym. I know I would!

[Klaptout]

I'd be tempted to reply, blimey he has gone down hill with age, 14th March was alway an all you can eat night, or at very least a finger buffet affair. LTB.
Hth.

[Klaptout]

She's been short changed, how low can you she go?
Surely its tantric and tea bagging.
Or and the very least Duck and dogging.
Though the crab and stuff that Owllady suggested sounds good, if you're ok with crabs of course.