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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To make her pay for my stuff?

195 replies

MagicalHamSandwich · 13/03/2016 07:29

I'm room sharing with a co-worker I don't really know for my firm's annual skiing weekend. Went to bed reasonably early last night in order to get some more skiing time today while my roommate apparently opted to participate in the traditional piss up around town.

I slept like a baby and did not hear her come in. Woke up this morning to find the entire bathroom covered in vomit - including several specks on and around the stuff I'd left in the bathroom (moisturiser, hairbrush, some makeup). Had to invite myself to guest-shower in my boss's bathroom because it's just that disgusting!

AIBU to bin my stuff and ask her to pay for it?

OP posts:
rookiemere · 14/03/2016 16:28

I must say if I was in HR and got emailed about this my primary recommendation to management would be to cancel the free ski trips going forward as people are clearly not mature enough to handle them. Oh and boo hoo to anyone who gets a free ski trip and says how awful it is Hmm.

Annoying as it is £60 in lost make up and hair brushes is worth a lot less than a free ski trip.

If she doesn't get back then I'd make a point of finding her desk ( if you're in the same office) and start of saying very loudly " I hope you're feeling better now. Did you get my email?" if she has got any sense at that point she'll cough up, if not then keep on talking loudly " Are you normally sick when you drink? My urban Decay palette was completely ruined - so upset I only bought it a month ago. So the total comes to £60. Do you want to give me cash now or later?"

Basically humiliate her in front of her work colleagues.

expatinscotland · 14/03/2016 16:33

'Annoying as it is £60 in lost make up and hair brushes is worth a lot less than a free ski trip. '

It may well have involved work on the trip or been one of those 'team building' things people feel compelled to attend. Hmm

rookiemere · 14/03/2016 16:39

If it's something the OP isn't bothered about then she can report away.

However the fact that she didn't drink and had an early night to get more skiing in the next day, suggests that OP enjoys and values having a free ski trip.

I'm certainly jealous - our away day last year involved getting a 6am 3 hr 20 min train one direction, being trained by staff who weren't trainers for a day, then getting the train back again so back at the train station for 8pm. This was meant to be a rare treat for us.

Original poster
MagicalHamSandwich · 14/03/2016 17:40

No, she hasn't replied yet, yes, she's online (we use IM in my firm). Can't walk by her desk, she's based in a different country. Will wait and see if she responds tonight or tomorrow and call her if she doesn't.

Re. the perks: I definitely appreciate the free skiing trip - but it totally is a work thing (spent a total of 14 hours actually doing business stuff between Friday and Sunday). It's just one of these things that comes with my type of job, along with decent remuneration. On the downside, I work some 60 hours every week and haven't been on a holiday for the last two years because my client starts whining when I'm gone for longer than two days, so really a treat every once in a while is the very least the firm can do for us.

OP posts:
toastyarmadillo · 14/03/2016 17:49

Waiting for her response

rookiemere · 14/03/2016 17:50

Oh that would boil my p*ss if I could see her on IM.
To be honest though reading your email you've been too nice.
Sod getting receipts and sending them through, just send her a link to the items that she destroyed and say that's it, the total is £xx or whatever. My bank details are:.

SuperFlyHigh · 14/03/2016 18:46

Ah OP I didn't realise she was in another country to you.... So that may have explained her rushing off and checking out etc. still doesn't explain her rudeness though

I'd send a follow up email eg Friday being harsher if you haven't heard by then, I would also copy in HR not to be nasty but to say I am out of pocket by X amount and the reason why. HR could then I'm not sure but liaise. Such a shame she's not in the sane building as it looks from where I'm standing (as I said before) like she's trying to minimise, avoid etc taking responsibility for her actions. You can't force her to pay up and I'm not sure what if HR could do but maybe the email would be put on her staff file.

SuperFlyHigh · 14/03/2016 18:47

rookie that's what I suggested! Why should op either buy new products and send receipts or search for old receipts?

NightWanderer · 14/03/2016 20:01

She's probably just really embarrassed. I think if you are on good money and can afford to replace the products then you should leave it be. Just my advice though. And yes of course she should have cleaned up by herself and of course she has behaved badly but this is your work place and humiliating a colleague is not a good path to take.

NisekoWhistler · 15/03/2016 11:37

Still no response from Veronica Vomitus?

whois · 15/03/2016 11:40

Thing is, she was rancid. But you are being a by petty. You get decent remuneration, it's not going to kill you to replace them if you feel so strongly about it. She didn't actually puke in the moisturiser. Replace the brushes and clean the containers of everything else. And tell everyone what a total skank she is.

angelos02 · 15/03/2016 11:46

I don't think the OP is being petty. The puker got so drunk she was sick and ruined the OP's belongings. The puker has had no consequences to her gross actions. The only people that are 'out' here are the OP and that poor cleaner.

GlitteryFluff · 15/03/2016 11:52

Blatantly place marking for her reply!

cranberryx · 15/03/2016 11:53

"Hi Miss Vomit*,

Please respond to my previous email or I will have to escalate to HR.

Although I like you as a person, Your behaviour on the recent work trip was disgusting. You need to replace the makeup and beauty products that you so helpfully spewed over. Here is an itemised list. Can I also have your address so I can send you the products that have your bodily fluids on, as I have no use for them.

As your aware, an urban decay palette is expensive and I don't think I should be punished for the repercussions of your social drinking.

You have 5 hours or this goes to HR."

But then again, I am a bit of a bitch Wink

Side note: eyeshadow palettes can be cleaned with hand sanitiser on cotton wool. Although I appreciate that the fact it's come into contact with vomit would make me throw it away instantly.

HackAttack · 15/03/2016 11:53

Whois, telling everyone what a 'skank' she is would in fact be petty and cowardly. OP is in fact dealing with it in a mature way, take a hint hth

Peaceandloveeveryone · 15/03/2016 12:05

I can't believe that anyone wouldn't immediately replace everything and send a bunch of flowers too, I would be falling over myself trying to put this right.

ephemeralfairy · 15/03/2016 12:14

Jesus christ. No fucking way would I be touching or using anything that anyone else had vommed near, let alone on. I am severely emetophobic.
I don't understand how anyone could think the OP is being U in expecting this woman to fork out.

angelos02 · 15/03/2016 12:21

I would be falling over myself trying to put this right. yy to this.

Who the fuck does the skank think she is? I'd also be worried that OP would tell HR what she'd done so would do everything I could to avoid that happening.

I know it was a holiday but it was mostly paid for by work so fair enough, a couple of drinks but not so many that you puke up all over a hotel bathroom. It doesn't reflect well on the company at all.

Pooseyfrumpture · 15/03/2016 12:35

What if she can't remember chucking up, and thinks it was the OP who vommed and ran?

SuperFlyHigh · 15/03/2016 12:51

Poosey of course you can remember chucking up, all the more so the next morning when your roommate has decamped elsewhere overnight.

SuperFlyHigh · 15/03/2016 12:55

angelos HR is a bit of a moot point though because what can you say "oh my colleague who shared the room with me was violently sick in the bathroom and splattered some expensive items with vomit"

HR "that's a pity what have you done about it/what do you want us to do about it?"

OP "well I've emailed her and asked for payment of the items but no showed links to them and I've seen her on IM but she hasn't replied to me".

HR "again what do you want us to do?!"

WhatchaMaCalllit · 15/03/2016 13:10

Any update from your colleague yet OP???

LondonHuffyPuffy · 15/03/2016 13:32

Gross. I too would be mortified in the unlikely event that I did something like that and would have cleaned up after myself, hung around to say sorry and offered money/ replacements.

expatinscotland · 15/03/2016 13:43

They might be able to go to her supervisor, Super.

WonderingAspie · 15/03/2016 14:26

Ugh that's disgusting. I wouldn't be able to use any of it after.

Good luck getting the money off her though! I expect the early check out was very much deliberate.

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