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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To make her pay for my stuff?

195 replies

MagicalHamSandwich · 13/03/2016 07:29

I'm room sharing with a co-worker I don't really know for my firm's annual skiing weekend. Went to bed reasonably early last night in order to get some more skiing time today while my roommate apparently opted to participate in the traditional piss up around town.

I slept like a baby and did not hear her come in. Woke up this morning to find the entire bathroom covered in vomit - including several specks on and around the stuff I'd left in the bathroom (moisturiser, hairbrush, some makeup). Had to invite myself to guest-shower in my boss's bathroom because it's just that disgusting!

AIBU to bin my stuff and ask her to pay for it?

OP posts:
emsyj · 13/03/2016 14:49

TBH Magical you couldn't pay me enough to go on another ski trip, free or otherwise! Me and skiing just don't mix...

Good luck with the colleague. Update in due course please!

GabiSolis · 13/03/2016 14:56

I can't believe she ducked out without talking to you or at least leaving a note if she really had to leave quickly. Shockingly rude.

tigermoll · 13/03/2016 14:59

She was asleep when OP left the room to go skiing. When OP came back, she had left -- presumably because she was either a) planning to leave that morning anyway or b) for another reason. When could she have "looked the OP in the eye and apologised"?

But yes, she could have left a note. Perhaps she will call/text/email to say sorry.

StealthPolarBear · 13/03/2016 15:31

Tell hr crops up on here a lot. It seems to be the grown up equivalent of telling teacher.

Trollicking · 13/03/2016 16:08

OP, I think your mail is excellent. Hope it works.

expatinscotland · 13/03/2016 19:44

She covers the whole cost. In cash. Don't give her your bank details! Fuck that. 'I'll provide you with the receipts when I replace the items so you can provide the cost of them.' I was willing to cut her some slack until she just bailed and housekeeping cleaned it all up.

I've been so drunk I've been sick many times but it's fucking RUDE to leave it for someone else to clean up, even when you're so hungover you boak again cleaning it, or damage someone's stuff and not offer to pay for it.

She's not 18, FFS.

And sometimes, after people are sick, they're not that hungover the next day at all so she may well not have been so bad off.

Those Urban Decay palettes are expensive.

IonaNE · 13/03/2016 20:06

Honestly- I do wonder how some people cope with life: it's not nice waking up to puke in your bathroom from a semi-stranger - but really, worse things happen at sea and all that
I don't know what sort of things happen to you "at sea", but I have never been drunk in my life (and am in my late 40s; nor do I plan to); hence I've never vomited all over a bathroom, and so I expect the same from other human beings, too.

OP, I think this is a life lesson: don't share with someone you don't know.

Bunbaker · 13/03/2016 20:23

"Honestly- I do wonder how some people cope with life: it's not nice waking up to puke in your bathroom from a semi-stranger - but really, worse things happen at sea and all that"

You must lead a pretty grim life then. I think waking up to a bathroom full of vomit must be up there with some pretty unpleasant experiences. I have been to loads of corporate work dos where alcohol has been free flowing, and shared rooms with work colleagues, but have never had to wake up to something like this.

Puking all over the bathroom uncontrollably is not something I have ever come across. Even the most drunk person has been able to aim at the toilet.

I would love to hear the puker's side of the story.

expatinscotland · 13/03/2016 20:38

"Honestly- I do wonder how some people cope with life: it's not nice waking up to puke in your bathroom from a semi-stranger - but really, worse things happen at sea and all that"

For real? I hold my hand up as someone who admits to, again, having been so drunk I puked many times in life - not in a long while now, though. I can never imagine leaving it for someone else to wake up to and clean up or not offering to pay for damages. And then there are all those people on MN who wake up to drunk people pissing or shitting on their stuff. NFW I'd put up with that for anything and again, I've been so pissed I've hurled, passed out, fallen, etc.

honeyroar · 13/03/2016 20:49

I can't believe people actually defended this skank bag woman!

Not cleaning it up last night was disgusting enough, to leave without so much of a sorry is terrible. Even with the worst hangover in the world a "sorry, will ring" note is possible.

I wouldn't have made a fuss, but seeing as she's done one without so much as a backward glance I'd ask her to replace everything and I'd tell everyone the story too! Dirty cow.

mollyonthemove · 13/03/2016 20:50

Work ski trip? Blimey, I am definitelyin the wrong sector 😞

whois · 13/03/2016 21:09

I've puked a lot. Sensitive stomach. Always in the toilet, and always cleaned up if any splashes out. Oh, except one time when I was like, 19. That was bad times and I had to be looked after.

Gross to puke all over the bathroom. She must have been so off her face she didn't know what way was up.

SuperFlyHigh · 13/03/2016 21:16

I am almost tempted that she pays for everything or nearly all and then add on a bit extra (eg if it comes to £55 round it up to £60 or a bit more to make up for your hurt feelings and having to use boss' bathroom.

To the poster who said don't share hotel room with someone you don't know well OP has already said she didn't know this colleague well so didn't know this possible outcome (which could have been avoided) and it's hardly likely she would have offered to share with someone she knew she would not get on with. Most people pay the extra single room supplement in that case.

VulcanWoman · 13/03/2016 21:21

OP, how did you manage to get ready for the skiing if you couldn't get in the bathroom? I would have been very tempted to chuck some water over her before I left the room.

SuperFlyHigh · 13/03/2016 21:22

TigerMoll I'm not sure this colleague would have asked for cleaning items to clean the room up, in fact most people would maybe use their own towel or combo of tissues and soap to try and clean the room, which doesn't seem to have been done. It's a huge stretch too to suggest that the cleaner/reception stole the tip the colleague had left for the extra cleaning too!

Also most decent people would find some way to apologise in person or by leaving a note. She could ask someone where OP was and have had breakfast/coffee before meeting OP to apologise in person or she could have left a note. Presumably if travel was involved they all travelled home at same time. Probably colleague just wanted (as I said before) to absolve herself of mess and felt embarrassed and rightly so and just left.

In fact it seems almost like you and the colleague are similar people, TigerMoll.

expatinscotland · 13/03/2016 21:23

I fail to see why she should only pay for part of the ruined stuff.

Original poster
MagicalHamSandwich · 14/03/2016 10:33

Well update so far: no update!

Waited until 10am to give her a chance to get in touch bad then sent her an e-mail along the lines of the draft above. So far so no response.

OP posts:
angelos02 · 14/03/2016 11:03

If I had done something as disgusting as that, I would've cleaned it up myself, apologised profusely to you and offered to pay whatever it cost to replace all of the items plus a bit more due to your inconvenience. The cheeky mare for not doing any of these things.

Collaborate · 14/03/2016 11:05

To be fair, a contribution to the cost of replacement is what is needed. Some of the products would have been partly used, and there should be an allowance for that.

angelos02 · 14/03/2016 11:12

and there should be an allowance for that. Fuck that. The puker should over-pay as part apology/part inconvenience to the OP.

SpuriouserAndSpuriouser · 14/03/2016 12:04

I can't believe that she didn't apologise to you! She must just be really embarrassed.

Bunbaker · 14/03/2016 12:18

Is she actually in work today?

EduCated · 14/03/2016 12:27

Has anyone actually heard from her to know that a) she is ok, and b) that she was drunk rather than ill?

I think your email was fair either way.

KittenOfWoe · 14/03/2016 12:34

Absolutely appalling behaviour, and very reasonable response on your part, Magical.

expatinscotland · 14/03/2016 13:20

'To be fair, a contribution to the cost of replacement is what is needed. Some of the products would have been partly used, and there should be an allowance for that.'

But she cannot buy a partially used product, and what's not fair is that she has to be an entirely new product because the colleague puked all over something that cannot be cleaned.

Fuck any allowance.

Tell her she needs to stump up the full whack.

She doesn't respond I'd send it to HR and ask how they think you should handle it.

Who cares if she's embarrassed?

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