Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To make her pay for my stuff?

195 replies

MagicalHamSandwich · 13/03/2016 07:29

I'm room sharing with a co-worker I don't really know for my firm's annual skiing weekend. Went to bed reasonably early last night in order to get some more skiing time today while my roommate apparently opted to participate in the traditional piss up around town.

I slept like a baby and did not hear her come in. Woke up this morning to find the entire bathroom covered in vomit - including several specks on and around the stuff I'd left in the bathroom (moisturiser, hairbrush, some makeup). Had to invite myself to guest-shower in my boss's bathroom because it's just that disgusting!

AIBU to bin my stuff and ask her to pay for it?

OP posts:
bloodyteenagers · 13/03/2016 12:37

That is grim.
I would email
Hi x
You checked out before we were able to discuss the replacement of goods you vomited on. Some of my items were salvageable but not everything was.
The cost to replace hair brush, toothbrush, make up and brushes is x.
My account details are ....
Because of the nature of items as you can understand these need replacing today.

Did she not even bother to leave you a sorry note?

Jux · 13/03/2016 12:39

She's probably far too hungover to think about things like that. Believe me, she is suffering today.

Email: I have had to replace toiletries which were vomitted on, at a cost of £x. Housekeeping have cleaned the bathroom so I have left them a tip of £x. Would you prefer direct bank transfer or PayPal to reimburse me? The smell lingered and rendered the bathroom unusable for some days.
Yours, MagicalHamSandwich

VimFuego101 · 13/03/2016 12:42

Was this an optional work trip, or were you required to be there? If it was the latter, I would ask your workplace if you can claim the cost of the stuff back on expenses. Although of course Sicky Sickerson should cover the cost herself but it doesn't seem like she is going to.

Jux · 13/03/2016 12:43

I wouldn't send it yet, though. Give her a chance to send you some flowers or something first. She may well have every intention of apologising or offering some sort of rectification when she's recovered from the hangover, when you're back.

BanningTheWordNaice · 13/03/2016 12:46

I cannot get over the people saying ''she's going to be embarassed''. Fine, she might be embarassed as hell but she could have got up and spoken to the OP, left a note, anything other than just not leaving it in such a state!!

Original poster
MagicalHamSandwich · 13/03/2016 12:52

No note - but then she could have left one and housekeeping might have cleaned it up when they did the rest of the room. She actually seemed nice enough for the little time I saw her (not that much - I spent most of the weekend hanging out with the folks from my own client account).

Think I'll e-mail her the following:

Hi X,
Hope you feel better today! I was hoping to have a chance to talk to you before you left but seem to have missed you. I'm afraid I've had to bin some of the stuff that I'd left out in the bathroom because there was vomit on it and it couldn't be properly cleaned. I'm going to have to replace my brushes and eyeshadow and think it's only fair for you to cover some of the cost of this. I'll send you my bank details and copies of my receipts when I replace the stuff. If you prefer to send me cash or PayPal me, please let me know!

Cheers! Magical

OP posts:
Oooblimey · 13/03/2016 12:56

I think that email is fair to send.

VodkaValiumLattePlease · 13/03/2016 12:56

'Cover the cost of this' not some! Get a backbone OP

grumpysquash3 · 13/03/2016 13:01

I would be tempted to blind copy HR too.

PestilentialCat · 13/03/2016 13:02

Urgh - if I'd thrown up on someone's stuff I would be offering to pay before being asked. Revolting behaviour - hope she coughs up (as it were - Grin)

bloodyteenagers · 13/03/2016 13:04

No she doesn't cover some of the cost. She pays it all.
She made the choice to get so hammered that she threw up everywhere. She has to deal with the consequences of her actions. Why should you be out of pocket?

Yes she might be embarrassed but this still doesn't Absolve her from rectifying this.

bedunkalilt · 13/03/2016 13:05

What would HR do with this?

Seriously curious, I work in HR in a huge organisation and if I or my colleagues got blind copied into any of this we'd be utterly baffled. But 'tell HR' comes up a lot on work threads!

emsyj · 13/03/2016 13:09

I once went on a work ski trip. I was new to the firm and so ended up sharing with the person that nobody else wanted to share with (obviously). It was awful, she was the most miserable person ever and she kept me awake all night every night moaning about how much she hated her job, which was just what I wanted to hear after moving 250 miles to start working there only 2 weeks earlier!

So, YABU to go on a work ski trip - they are dreadful!! FWIW to those Shock at the idea of a work ski trip - ours wasn't free, we had to pay the costs. We did get the time off work for free though - not deducted from our holiday allowance.

I think your email is fair, although I would have been stronger i.e. I wouldn't have said 'contribute to' the cost, I would have just said 'these things will need to be replaced at a cost of £xx'. I absolutely would not consider it unreasonable to bin stuff that a virtual stranger had vomited on - ewwww. If she had been ill through no fault of her own and then been profuse with apologies the next day and tried to clean up, I would maybe take a kinder view - but her behaviour has been horrible, so I wouldn't have any sympathy for her. Who on earth would call housekeeping to clean up their vomit for them???? Utterly disgusting.

Floggingmolly · 13/03/2016 13:09

Of course she's to cover the full cost Hmm. The manky mare sneaked off without even having the good grace to apologise (and I totally agree with Poverty, she'll almost certainly have told housekeeping that you did it).
Take no prisoners, op.

Lelania · 13/03/2016 13:11

It's pretty disgusting but she might be planning to apologise and offer to replace them when she sees you. If this was me I would do it person not leave a note or send an email so I'm not sure why you are assuming that she isn't going to.

Also, if she didn't wake you up she probably didn't switch the light on so didn't know how bad it was before she went to sleep.

SuperFlyHigh · 13/03/2016 13:13

No she covers whole cost.

No need to copy HR in at all. Why?!

Colleague was drunk on a work trip but out of work hours. HR would just sigh inwardly and hope it was resolved between the 2 colleagues amicably.

SuperFlyHigh · 13/03/2016 13:15

Lelania the night and dark excuse perfectly plausible but next morning the sight and smell of vomit must have been pretty obvious and colleague would have had to shower etc before she left.

Ok she may have been hungover and maybe wait until Monday but it still deserves a damned good apology (card at very least) and full reimbursement.

SuperFlyHigh · 13/03/2016 13:18

In fact thinking back in my misspent youth I got drunk with colleagues on a work night out... I was sick can't recall where but maybe outside. Stayed night with colleague (though they could have called me a cab).

I was suitably mortified luckily in the morning it was glossed over but first thing Monday I apologised with card and cookie with sunflowers on it (don't know how I remember that!) and small bunch of flowers.

ExasperatedAlmostAlways · 13/03/2016 13:22

I can't believe she just left without even apologising and offering to pay to replace which is what I would of done.

It's 37.50 for urban decay original pallette and brush. Toothbrush,two quid, Brush a fiver. That was an expensive spew. She's lucky you aren't replacing the moisturiser and serum, no way would I be washing a strangers puke off my stuff.

Original poster
MagicalHamSandwich · 13/03/2016 13:26

emsyj that sounds like a bad excuse for a work skiing trip. Ours is all expenses paid (2 nights at a 3* hotel, breakfast both days, one lunch as well as two nice, special venue dinners and a party each year for which they also rent part of a club. And they pay for train fares and skiing passes but not flights). I actually think it's a pretty sweet deal.

Don't really think I need to involve HR here. She's not done anything that pertains to her ability to do a great job. It's yucky, yes, but that's hardly a disciplinary offense, is it?

OP posts:
PacificDogwod · 13/03/2016 13:45

I think your email sounds v measured.
I also agree to tell her to cough up for the whole cost, not part.

I've changed my tune as she has buggered off without a word/note of apology or explanation - poor show.

HR? Why would HR be interested?? Genuine question.

Pinkheart5915 · 13/03/2016 14:14

Your email is very measured and polite
I hope she will replace your things without any problems.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 13/03/2016 14:19

I think your email has the right tone but agree with others that she should cover the whole cost of the stuff to be replaced. Hopefully she'll be in touch soon to confirm a bank transfer and apologies.

tigermoll · 13/03/2016 14:30

How do we know that she swanned off and left it for housekeeping? Or that she didn't leave a tip?

It is possible that she told the front desk what had happened, and asked for clothes/bleach to clear it up. Then front desk sent housekeeping to do the whole room and took the tip she left.

You say she 'seemed nice'. Why is everyone leaping to assume that she did nothing at all?

Floggingmolly · 13/03/2016 14:38

She didn't look op in the eye and apologise. Why would you assume she behaved honourably in all othe respects?