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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To make her pay for my stuff?

195 replies

MagicalHamSandwich · 13/03/2016 07:29

I'm room sharing with a co-worker I don't really know for my firm's annual skiing weekend. Went to bed reasonably early last night in order to get some more skiing time today while my roommate apparently opted to participate in the traditional piss up around town.

I slept like a baby and did not hear her come in. Woke up this morning to find the entire bathroom covered in vomit - including several specks on and around the stuff I'd left in the bathroom (moisturiser, hairbrush, some makeup). Had to invite myself to guest-shower in my boss's bathroom because it's just that disgusting!

AIBU to bin my stuff and ask her to pay for it?

OP posts:
tigermoll · 13/03/2016 09:38

I agree that waking up to a vomit-streaked bathroom is super unpleasant, and that the OP has every right to be annoyed.

But before we lay into this co-worker and start suggesting that the OP takes pictures to threaten her with Shock or makes sure to tell everyone about her behaviour, maybe we should have a bit of compassion.

It's unlikely she got that drunk on purpose. She may be young, inexperienced, nervous, she may have been egged on to drink more than she would otherwise, she may have been dehydrated from skiing,etc. Lots of reasons she might have got too drunk.

Hands up anyone here who has never accidentally misjudged it on a night out? We don't know how this woman will feel/act when she wakes up. The most likely reaction is she will be mortified, apologetic, want to clean everything up and will be perfectly willing to replace items/buy the OP a gift to say sorry. Unless the co-worker has form for this, its a bit harsh to have a go at her.

decisionsdecisions123 · 13/03/2016 09:38

If she was just ill you would imagine that she would have woken the Op up for a bit of help/just in case. Sounds horrid anyway. I must remember not to go on any work skiing weekends...

tigermoll · 13/03/2016 09:38

Cross post with SGB :)

cupcakesandwine · 13/03/2016 09:41

I don't think the point is that the items can be washed though. Using expensive moisturiser and serum are a luxurious treat. Would you ever really feel quite the same way about them knowing that they have been vommed on in the past? I'm darn sure I wouldn't.

Your colleague is a grown-up, she should be able to manage her drinking so that she does not get into this state and absolutely should not get pukey drunk on a works trip (even if it is a skiing one). Why should you suffer for her lack of self control? I'd definitely throw the lot away and insist she replaces it and quite right to make sure the boss knows as it all goes to her judgement. Would she behave the same way if there were clients on the trip too?

I'm not being po-faced, I like a drink as much as anyone, but there's no excuse for this at all.

ThinkAboutItTomorrow · 13/03/2016 09:44

Anyone else noticed how the early risers were all on the OP's side but the later we get the more sympathy there is for drunk colleague?!

I tend to agree that making such a big deal of it to the boss was a bit off. It won't make you many friends amongst your colleagues I wouldn't have thought.

rookiemere · 13/03/2016 09:45

I'm still stuck on the amazingness of a work paid ski trip. I'd cope with a little vomit for that, but seriously that sounds gross, enjoy your days skiing and see what she's saying when you get back. She'll need to do some cleaning before cleaners arrive I would have thought.

ThinkAboutItTomorrow · 13/03/2016 09:47

Cross post with cupcakes, maybe my generalisation doesn't hold up!

Trollicking · 13/03/2016 09:47

How revolting- I'd be ok with it being washed off the things that are washable but I'd want replacement hairbrush and toothbrush etc.

BoulevardOfBrokenSleep · 13/03/2016 09:54

Just wash the packets.

In some ways it's better that it's 'just' alcohol puke, if she'd sprayed norovirus sick round the room, I'd definitely be burning binning them.

Whosthemummy16 · 13/03/2016 09:56

I wouldn't bin it until she has seen what she has done to your things !
That's absolutely disgusting!
I would want everything replaced, I do have a vomit phobia so that's probably changed my view slightly but you've got to put that on your face!
Did you manage to buy a new toothbrush and hairbrush to use this morning?

lavenderhoney · 13/03/2016 10:03

That is so disgusting. And yes, she should replace the lot.
Don't sit next to her on the way home. She'll be feeling very fragile and might puke again.

Hippywannabe · 13/03/2016 10:04

I do actually think everything should be replaced. You will forever more be thinking of the vomit every time you touch them otherwise.
I'm sure she will be mortified enough to do it!

janethegirl2 · 13/03/2016 10:11

Unless she was very young, I'd hope adults would know their drink limits and stop before being ill.
No sympathy for the colleague at all.

rookiemere · 13/03/2016 10:15

Thinking about it, you've got to play this carefully.

If you make too much visible fuss in public, then if I were the employers I'd think stuff this and do away with the free ski trip.

Tis vile though and I don't think I'd feel the same about my Clarins serum ( in the giddy days when I used to buy that sort of stuff) if a colleague had vommed on it.

AtrociousCircumstance · 13/03/2016 10:22

She needs to replace it all.

oneDtwoD · 13/03/2016 10:35

I've only skimmed the thread so sorry if i've missed something, but do you actually know it was acohol related? From my own vomiting experiences, drunk vomiting usually involves clinging to the toilet bowl and therefore limited mess, whereas viral related food poisoning leads to uncontrolled projectile vomiting which covers the whole room.

OP: i think you need to wait for room-mate to wake up and hear her side of the story before deciding how unreasonably she has behaved.

Peaceandloveeveryone · 13/03/2016 10:36

I wouldn't be able to use it, I think it's grim that you have to share a room with someone you barely know though.

Salmotrutta · 13/03/2016 10:42

It's grim that this happened and I wouldn't be overly keen to use the stuff again but I also think your colleague will be very mortified about this.

Especially since you seem to have involved the boss...

Was there no other colleague you could have asked about using their shower?

Bunbaker · 13/03/2016 10:42

oneDtwoD has a point.

I don't like sharing a room with work colleagues either, but my company always make us share rooms. That is why I never go to any work related events.

Peaceandloveeveryone · 13/03/2016 10:43

Yeah, that was a bit deliberate to ask the boss wasn't it? Grin

DaisyDando · 13/03/2016 10:43

What she's done isn't very nice, but I think you're enjoying the drama. You say you don't know her very well - why is that? Why did you invite yourself to use your boss's shower, rather than anyone else's?
Are you feeling left out perhaps? If so, that's not very nice either.
And why take photos? Who are you going to show?

Bunbaker · 13/03/2016 10:44

Maybe she thought it was more likely that the boss would be awake, rather than other people.

Salmotrutta · 13/03/2016 10:47

Maybe Bunbaker but we need more info

We need to set up an Incident Room with whiteboards and suchlike.

PacificDogwod · 13/03/2016 10:51

There are paid-for work skiing trips?? Shock

Wash yer stuff and move on.
I am sure she will feel like death warmed up this morning.

WhatamessIgotinto · 13/03/2016 10:51

I wouldn't, given what has happened. Sorry.

Yeah, see I'm not really into humiliating people. Sorry.

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