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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think this cut, on my son's leg, is bad enough to not do PE? *pic*

125 replies

WoodieBec · 13/03/2016 04:27

Hi all, I never use this site, I just occasionally come on and nose. However, I'm now looking for some advice on this situation...

My son is 12 (Yr 8) he's a good kid and rarely gets into trouble at school. I must admit, I do write his PE teacher a note, when it's rugby, so he can be excused (I say his asthma is worse when he plays contact sport) and the only reason I do that, is because he is very self-conscious of his height (he's probably one of the shortest in his year) and therefore, hates rugby because the taller children are too rough. It hasn't been an issue.

Around a week ago, he had an accident while playing outside with his friends. It was stupidity, but he has learnt from it (he was trying to climb some old fence). Anyway, he had a good amount of stitches and is having to use crutches.

He had PE a few days ago, and I didn't even think of sending him in with a note - it was obvious he had an injury... In all fairness, that's my poor lack of judgement. When my son said to his teacher he didn't have a note, when he asked, he was told to 'go and get changed then'. It was obvious that it was a stupid request, he is on crutches and cannot put weight on his leg. He said that he can't and that they should phone me, they didn't phone me. His teacher also said that if he didn't get changed, he would have to go to isolation. My son has always said that he never wants that on his record because he wants to be Yr 8 council rep. and they normally don't let you if you have gone there/had a detention, etc.

He decided to get changed (he had to use one of their kits, as his was at home due to him thinking he wasn't going to need it). My son was made to use his crutches all the way on to the top field, no, he didn't have to end up doing whatever sport they were doing, but he was still made to get changed and go to the top field in his crutches, where the grass was muddy and wet. AIBU to think this isn't on?

OP posts:
comedycentral · 13/03/2016 04:30

That really isn't on, I would call school and Monday to ask for an explanation or email them

curren · 13/03/2016 04:36

That doesn't sound right.

At our school kids with an injury like that would be taught in 'the bridge'. It's basically for kids that can't be taught in the classroom for whatever reason. So when dds friends had a broken leg she was taught in there as it was feasible for her to get between lessons. These kids aren't expected to turn up at PE at all.

But all kids going to PE are expected to get changed even if they are just watching and watching is only allowed with a note from parents.

At our school I would have been expected to go in and arrange for dd to go the bridge if she was in this position.

Do they have provision for to help him get around school? Surely his head of year or similar knows he the extent of his injury?

Have you spoken to the school at all?

SecretWitch · 13/03/2016 04:43

Jesus..I'm so sorry for your son. I would be on phone with the school bright and early Monday morning. What kind of dumbass makes a child go out on the fields with an injury such as his!

Sallyhasleftthebuilding · 13/03/2016 05:11

I think some schools have a policy of all kits being in school and the need to get changed even when not joining in

I do think some common sense is needed.

That looks painful I hope he gets better soon

NattyNatural · 13/03/2016 05:21

I would be fuming op. Go in to speak to the head on Monday morning.Thanks

Millionsmom · 13/03/2016 05:50

Ouch, that looks painful! Poor boy, but if he were my son, he'll be hoping for an amazing scar to show off Grin
I think, just maybe, if your son had always taken part in PE and you hadn't effectively let him have a free pass - schools know when they're being played - then maybes, just maybes, the teacher would've engaged his brain in this instance.

Janecc · 13/03/2016 06:07

That's taking school policy to the enth degree and sounds ridiculous and dangerous. If you are excusing him from rugby for no good reason and they know it, maybe the teacher thought he/she was making a point.
In any case, I hope you will get resolution. And please discuss the rugby thing with the school at the same time. They will hopefully be understanding and cooperative. Right now, all you are teaching your son is to duck away and hide from something when he doesn't like it. If he continues with this attitude in adulthood, he will find life very hard, and he's already more than half way there (in years). What will he do when his boss asks him to do something he doesn't like, quit? I understand you want to protect him because he is vulnerable. Ultimately, protecting our children means giving them the skills to look after themselves. He is just about to be a teenager and be at an age, where he starts to prepare himself for adulthood. He won't thank you now but he's not going to stay 12 forever.

rainbowstardrops · 13/03/2016 06:08

I'd be fuming! I know there are policies for every bloody thing in schools but surely some common sense was needed here?!

I was expecting the photo to show a tiny little cut and you were being precious but that cut looks dreadful!
Hope your poor DS is ok.

I'd be contacting the school first thing on Monday morning.

PrincessMouse · 13/03/2016 06:26

Your poor son. I would be really angry. His clearly got an injury which means he can't participate in PE and to be made to stand around a muddy field isn't going to help his recovery. Utter stupidity. IMO you should speak to the teacher or head.

Kayakinggirl86 · 13/03/2016 06:45

if your son had not gone to the "top field" with the rest of the class; who would you expect to drop everything to supervise your child?
Also the teacher can get them selves in yo a lot of trouble for letting a child miss out. The teacher did not know that you had given permission for them not to be in class.

DesertOrDessert · 13/03/2016 06:54

Stupidity!
I wrote a note to the effect of "Don't think PFB should do PE today" recently when he had significantly less stitches in his face.
I haven't bothered with a note since, just not sent in PE kit, and so far he's not done PE.

I'm beginning to wonder, 2 weeks past stitches, when they are actually going to dissolve, and if school would let him do PE if they were covered!

I'd be ringing on Monday morning to ask how to prevent the need for him to go, on crutches, both the muddy field - that in itself must be less than safe????

Hope he's feeling better soon.

miraclebabyplease · 13/03/2016 06:59

There really isn't a problem. He wasn't left on his own and he wasn't made to join in pe. Some schools do get changed when just watching. Your son was not mistreated.

Stop sending a note from mummy to get out of rugby. You are teaching him to wimp out of the tougher parts of life. By yr 8 he only has a few school years left and soon a note from mummy will hold no power. What will he do then?

Arkwright · 13/03/2016 07:10

Obviously for this injury he should be excused. However you can't keep excusing him from rugby for no good reason.

Andrewofgg · 13/03/2016 07:12

Send a note saying He is off rugby and will not bring his kit until further notice. When he is fit I will take this note back - until then it is in force and tell the HT you have done so and say why.

TheyreMadITellYouMaaaad · 13/03/2016 07:12

Going to isolation in this case might not have been punitive. In our school they do the same, whether or not the child is 'officially' excused: library/isolation (library might be in use for a lesson) or change and accompany the class to PE. It's a matter of supervision.

If you want your child to be treated differently, eg for a long-term illness/condition, you need to discuss this with the school. Or at least have the courtesy to inform them just as you do regarding rugby Hmm.

topcat2014 · 13/03/2016 07:14

I was always the crap one at rugby - last to be picked etc etc. I admit I hated games generally.

But, even so, I don't think it would have done me any good to get notes to get out of it. There's a lot more disappointment and hardship around in life generally - together with the good stuff.

Although I do think that leg should qualify.

FelicityFunknickle · 13/03/2016 07:17

Of course its "bad enough" to not do PE. I will write you a note if you like.
Btw: Nobody ever came to harm from not playing rugby.

mathanxiety · 13/03/2016 07:22

Your son has a martinet for a PE teacher, and I would write to Ofsted and to the board of governors regarding the humiliation and pain inflicted on him on PE day. I don't think there are other words for it. I would not warn the school, I would just do it. Send the school a copy.

Obviously there are huge communication issues within the school too. All staff should have been made aware of the injury and there should be procedures in place to deal with a student whose ability to walk is curtailed.

But bloody hell, what sort of a little Hitler wouldn't see the boy was on crutches.

FelicityFunknickle · 13/03/2016 07:23

In general i think joining in with sport is a good thing. But I know when I was at achool we were made to ay a full contact "game" once a year (boys and girls in secondary school) it was a bit like rugby.
I that game people were regularly seriously injured, required hopsital tatment, I, and other girls were sexually assaulted. Nobody gave a shit because of the focus on joining in and not wimping out.
You get to choose.
My rate of assaults against me would have been dramatically reduced if I had a not from mummy to not play that game (admits some projection and off topic)

TheFairyCaravan · 13/03/2016 07:23

He didn't do PE, he went to the field.

You need to stop writing notes about the rugby, the teacher will cotton soon. Being short is not an excuse not to do it.

mathanxiety · 13/03/2016 07:28

Wrt preparing students for life by means of making them play rough rugby when there is a size disparity, despite asthma -- the world is not that dog eat dog.

Plenty of people survive not playing rugby or other contact sports in school and still get on fine. The trick is to focus on whatever it is that you are good at.

mathanxiety · 13/03/2016 07:29

School rugby for boys some of whom may be well into puberty while some may still be little boys, and who may therefore have huge differences in body size and strength is stupidly dangerous.

feudebois · 13/03/2016 07:32

Eh?? He wasn't made to do PE. I can't see the problem.

feudebois · 13/03/2016 07:33

And the idea that he can't play rugby because he is short is a bit silly. Is he usually a special snowflake?

Andrewofgg · 13/03/2016 07:34

If there must be rugby in schools boys should be matched by size not age. Of course that would be difficult to organise so it doesn't happen. All part of the obsession with sport which is the curse of the education system in the UK.