AIBU to think this cut, on my son's leg, is bad enough to not do PE? *pic*

[WoodieBec]

Hi all, I never use this site, I just occasionally come on and nose. However, I'm now looking for some advice on this situation...

My son is 12 (Yr 8) he's a good kid and rarely gets into trouble at school. I must admit, I do write his PE teacher a note, when it's rugby, so he can be excused (I say his asthma is worse when he plays contact sport) and the only reason I do that, is because he is very self-conscious of his height (he's probably one of the shortest in his year) and therefore, hates rugby because the taller children are too rough. It hasn't been an issue.

Around a week ago, he had an accident while playing outside with his friends. It was stupidity, but he has learnt from it (he was trying to climb some old fence). Anyway, he had a good amount of stitches and is having to use crutches.

He had PE a few days ago, and I didn't even think of sending him in with a note - it was obvious he had an injury... In all fairness, that's my poor lack of judgement. When my son said to his teacher he didn't have a note, when he asked, he was told to 'go and get changed then'. It was obvious that it was a stupid request, he is on crutches and cannot put weight on his leg. He said that he can't and that they should phone me, they didn't phone me. His teacher also said that if he didn't get changed, he would have to go to isolation. My son has always said that he never wants that on his record because he wants to be Yr 8 council rep. and they normally don't let you if you have gone there/had a detention, etc.

He decided to get changed (he had to use one of their kits, as his was at home due to him thinking he wasn't going to need it). My son was made to use his crutches all the way on to the top field, no, he didn't have to end up doing whatever sport they were doing, but he was still made to get changed and go to the top field in his crutches, where the grass was muddy and wet. AIBU to think this isn't on?

My DS always tries to get me to write him a note to stop him swimming because he "doesn't like it and isn't very good". I laugh and pack his trunks.

He currently can't do it because of the concussion so, because I care and am involved, I will write him a note.

You lie to get him out of rugby every week, citing his asthma, and it's because he is short. YABU.

He was asked to change but did not have to take part in rugby and you are annoyed. YABU.

It was muddy, and you state this as a reason for being annoyed. YABU.

A classic example of 'cry wolf.'

On my initial reading, I thought he had been made to join in with PE, instead of which he was made to stand on a muddy field, instead of sitting inside in the warm and the dry. Poor lamb.

And does he still think he is suitable material for council rep, despite colluding with his mother in a lie to avoid rugby?

Clearly the school has got the measure of him.

This teacher was being ridiculous and of course your son shouldn't have had to get changed and walk to a field while on crutches. I think the idea of making any non-participating child get changed regardless is ridiculous and pointless - and if the PE kit is T-shirt and shorts or a short skirt, as some are even in winter, then it's causing deliberate discomfort as a non-participating child won't be active enough to keep warm.

School sports aren't an essential part of life and I think there's a lot of over-reaction in this thread to the idea of notes to excuse a child from rugby. It doesn't reflect the 'real world' - if there's something I hate doing at work, I can't get a note from my mum to excuse me, but I can talk to my manager about it, swap duties with a colleague, or, in the extreme, look for a new job. Or I can just get on with it. The point is that I have choices. Children don't, and that's a flaw of the one-size-fits-all educational system.

Being at school shouldn't be like being in the army. PE teacher was being a twat, if it happened as you describe.

And rugby is a stupid and dangerous game for growing kids. My boys won't be playing. I have had my c-spine fused for a heriditary arthritis, which led to my spinal cord becoming compressed. There's not a chance I'd allow my boys to risk their necks for a school PE lesson.

DH is a PE teacher and their policy is that even if they have a note they have to get changed as PE is not just about being a 'performer' now.

However, he does say that they don't make them get changed if they have a relevant injury e.g. a plaster cast, and he wouldn't have made your son get changed.

SueLawley so you reckon you'd be entirely unfazed about changing trousers despite having 40 stitches on your leg, then hobbling along with crutches and standing on a muddy field for 45 minutes just to satisfy somebody's power-hungry whim? I don't believe you.

Just astounded at some of these responses.

Wow, I haven't read all the replies yet, but I'm getting there!

I'd just like to say, my son played tag rugby in Yr 7 and that was fine, he actually likes sports, he was actually quite happy when he knew it was realy rugby, but then he gave it a go, twice and hated it - I asked him what he didn't like and he bursted into tears. I appreciate some of you wouldn't have just given him a note because it makes you a terrible mother, but I'm not too fussed on how you would parent in that department. I'm not saying that I disagree with you, but he was desperate and for him to be in tears the night before rugby, no, I'm just not having that - I don't understand why you wouldn't not let him do it? There had been multiply injuries his whole time in Yr 7 (not in his year) from people doing rugby, it's not very safe. Also, some kids are the size of a house! My son has not hit the main stages of puberty and that makes him uncomfortable when doing the contact sport. He's a child who's healthy and active, polite, kind, etc. there isn't a reason for me to shove him into a sport that he gets upset about - what does that teach our kids too? That mummy won't help you when you're upset?

I know he didn't take part in the game, but he had to travel to the top field, crutches on wet grass (can you imagine how tough that would be!?) and when the ball would come off of the game, my son would have to pass it back. I know it isn't much, but still. No, there isn't a specific room for children who can't be in lessons, well not that I'm aware of. I know it was my fault for not sending him in with a note and yes, his tutor knows and so does the medical lady, for a key to the lift, etc.

I'm just about to read all your replies!

her son had the option of going to the removal room instead and declined

YADNBU about the rugby. I'm a teacher and if I had sons I would not be allowing full contact rugby either. No issue with non-contact but full rugby is bloody dangerous.

Isolation isn't the removal room, it was sarky comment from the teacher, he was using it as a punishment for my son refusing to get changed.

To the people moaning at me lying with the asthma, we both know, thanks. I had severe asthma as a child and so does my son, the PE teachers knows, as does head of year and medical... So don't give me all that.

I'd have gone nuclear.
I'm on crutches at the moment. After its been raining my crutches slip and I put my foot down to prevent myself falling.
The pain is sickening.
Forcing a boy with a nasty wound on crutches to the end of a muddy field is ridiculous. And the alternative of punishing him for not doing it is also ridiculous.
Complain to the school op.

I know how hard it is to get round on crutches, Woodie, I've been doing it for 20 years, all in weathers and conditions. I still think you're over reacting. Not only that, how do you think your son's teachers are going to recognise when his asthma, and all the other asthmatic children's asthma, is playing up when you continually lie about it?

My son is a severe asthamtic, he's left school now, I would never lie about something so serious as that.

They made him get changed, not actually play sport. Which is a bit annoying but not the end of the world.

You're being silly about the rugby notes.

OP I'm with you...

Would you just let your son cry the night before then because he's so self-conscious of his height?

OP what have YOU actually discussed with the school regarding the injury and the fact your child is on crutches?

Getting changed and walking to a playing field doesn't sound massively unreasonable - unless you have specifically spoken to the school about what he can and can't do

I'm expecting a boy this year, and I'm desperately hoping that full contact rugby will be banned in schools by the time he gets there! I remember a few incidents of rugby-induced broken legs/ribs amongst the lads when I was a kid.

Admittedly, the injury that sticks in my head the most was actually cricket related - one of the lads forgot his box, got hit in the nuts by the ball, and went down. The teacher told him to 'stop being such a puff' and to get up... then everyone noticed the spreading red stain on the front of the lad's trousers - he'd split his nut sack, and had to go to hospital for stitches! That was a freak accident though, caused by a combination of the lack of the correct safety gear and an unfortunate bowl. Rugby, on the other hand, just seems to be asking for trouble!

I spent a lot of time in the library doing homework during PE lessons - I knackered my knees when I was 13, so my mom wrote me a lot of notes. I genuinely do have crap knees (three operations before the age of 30, first one at 17!), but I loathed PE so much seemed like blessing at the time!

Tricky one. Obviously he wasn't fit for sport so the teacher was being BU in forcing him to change and actually dangerous taking him to a muddy field on crutches. You've made things worse by fibbing and protecting him before now.

But I absolutely understand your problem with rugby. It is a dangerous game. My DN who is a similar age and very tiny has,nthis season alone suffered a broken jaw and a broken wrist whilst playing. Some of the boys are the size of adult men, he's more like a 10 year old. The problem here is that he wants to play because not playing singles him out.

The season is almost over, keep him off until then but for gods sake get him playing cricket or tennis or doing athletics with enthusiasm next term. Sport is an important part of the curriculum. I would be speaking to the school next winter about his position and keeping him as safe as possible.

I have spoken to the medical ladies first, who said they'll sort him regarding to getting around school, getting a key for the lift, etc.

I also spoke to his form tutor, who said that he'll sort him with a 'leave lesson 5 mins early' card, so he doesn't get all the pushing and shoving.

I assumed through communication, things would then be sorted. We are told to always go to form tutor, due to head of year always being so busy. He said he would sort it.

He takes part in all other sports.

Woodie - I can fully understand someone not wanting their son to play rugby because of safety concerns, especially if it's full contact and against much larger boys.

But the way I read the OP was that you're using his asthma as an excuse for him to not play rugby. Isn't it possible for you to tell the school that you're refusing your son permission to play rugby because you think it's too dangerous for him? Rather than saying he can't do it because of asthma?

But the lie works? Why tell the truth?

I was going to Stitches, but my son says that his teacher will tell the whole class why he isn't doing it and is scared that X, Y, Z will bully him because they're the 'cool' lot. If I can make school life easier for my son, I will. Maybe it makes me a bad parent, maybe not. However, we all know how tough school can be... I'll definitely talk to him about it though.

I don't get some comments on here!