AIBU to think this cut, on my son's leg, is bad enough to not do PE? *pic*

[WoodieBec]

Hi all, I never use this site, I just occasionally come on and nose. However, I'm now looking for some advice on this situation...

My son is 12 (Yr 8) he's a good kid and rarely gets into trouble at school. I must admit, I do write his PE teacher a note, when it's rugby, so he can be excused (I say his asthma is worse when he plays contact sport) and the only reason I do that, is because he is very self-conscious of his height (he's probably one of the shortest in his year) and therefore, hates rugby because the taller children are too rough. It hasn't been an issue.

Around a week ago, he had an accident while playing outside with his friends. It was stupidity, but he has learnt from it (he was trying to climb some old fence). Anyway, he had a good amount of stitches and is having to use crutches.

He had PE a few days ago, and I didn't even think of sending him in with a note - it was obvious he had an injury... In all fairness, that's my poor lack of judgement. When my son said to his teacher he didn't have a note, when he asked, he was told to 'go and get changed then'. It was obvious that it was a stupid request, he is on crutches and cannot put weight on his leg. He said that he can't and that they should phone me, they didn't phone me. His teacher also said that if he didn't get changed, he would have to go to isolation. My son has always said that he never wants that on his record because he wants to be Yr 8 council rep. and they normally don't let you if you have gone there/had a detention, etc.

He decided to get changed (he had to use one of their kits, as his was at home due to him thinking he wasn't going to need it). My son was made to use his crutches all the way on to the top field, no, he didn't have to end up doing whatever sport they were doing, but he was still made to get changed and go to the top field in his crutches, where the grass was muddy and wet. AIBU to think this isn't on?

YANBU, your son's PE teacher was being a total jobsworth about it. Maybe they didn't have anywhere else he could go, and he had to remain supervised - but he didn't need to get changed into his PE kit for that!

I don't blame you re. the rugby, although I do think that you should maybe have a different excuse for why he can't play.

In Australia they're considering changing the way junior rugby is split, to allow for weight too, which would be much safer. They already take weight into account in NZ - they're basically split into age groups, but if a child exceeds the weight range for their age group, they can play "up" one or 2 grades, depending on how heavy they are. Weight is more relevant than height when you're smashing into each other, I think.

Is this an independent school OP?

The teacher told him to 'stop being such a puff'

Lord spare us. I don't think that would happen now. Things get better, just very, very slowly.

What the actual fuck ?! That is a really nasty laceration. He's got a shedload of stitches, including the skin across a weightbearing joint. I'm actually impressed he's managing school at all. To those who think it was nothing to go up to the muddy field, have you ever had to use crutches, a stick, or any other walking aid? They are designed for solid surfaces. On wet grass, or mud, they slip. So not only were his stitches strained by unnecessary walking, but he was put at serious risk of a fall, which could easily have split his stitches.

I would be fucking livid. But then, I have had to walk with sticks, and know how terrifying it is when they start to slip and there is nothing you can do to save yourself. And I have split stitches in the skin over a weightbearing joint by doing too much. I wouldn't want to see that on such a nasty injury.

Okay, yes, you should have sent a note. But did they think he'd nicked the crutches?! And yes, full contact rugby causes some very nasty injuries - it really shouldn't be compulsory.

Haven't read the whole thread but someone on p1 said to write to Ofsted.
Please don't.
If you do, it has to be properly investigated which costs money, which comes out of the schools budget and so can't be spent on other things, like education.
I know someone who investigates these parent reports. He's done 14. Only two had any real substance to them and needed to be reported and properly dealt with. In every other case it's come down to a parent either not engaging at all with school and going straight to Ofsted, or not getting the answer they want even though what they want is wrong/not doable/unrealistic (eg not being told the punishment of another child - the school won't tell them, they complain to Ofsted). It's cost their local authority tens of thousands of pounds - the investigations aren't cheap. Most of it was wasted money because parents are just not thinking when they use their right to complain. So don't go to Ofsted. Go to the school if you think there's an issue, and work with them.

YANBU. Sometimes very glad my DC go to the "rough" school. The teachers teach and discipline by respect and consent. No-one gets forced to do PE, or anything else, with or without a note. I find the notion of preparing teenagers for the adult World by fear and intimidation more than a little bit ridiculous.

baby there is an issue though

Even way back when I was in school in Dublin in the 70s and 80s there was a school library, and teachers who did not have a class did a rota of sitting in the library instead of the staffroom, doing corrections and supervising whatever students were called out of PE during that class period, as well as students sitting out religion. Is it impossible for schools to have a sensible approach like this?

How much time was used up while a boy on crutches went off to retrieve balls that went out of play? How did he manage to get the balls back to the field? How did making the boy on crutches be the ball boy contribute to the game? Ir was this the real game, watching a child struggle?

The more I hear, the more I am getting a picture of a PE teacher who is an ego tripper, and a school that doesn't really care about the physical or social or emotional care of students.
my son says that his teacher will tell the whole class why he isn't doing it and is scared that X, Y, Z will bully him because they're the 'cool' lot.
The climate in this school sorely needs examination.

I absolutely would report to Ofsted (I suggested it earlier). It is not the responsibility of parents to make sure money is not taken from schools. Parents have the right to report, and what happened here was cruel. It seems to me the PE teacher is just representing what the rest of the school is all about.

If the teacher tells the children, this is a breach of confidence. I'm not sure it's good to teach your child that it's ok to lie to get out of doing he doesn't want to. I wonder if there is a better way. I had the same problem with my DD over swimming. She has a medical condition and the school were not looking after her properly. IE drowning risk. The school was absolutely rubbish and disputed what i was saying. I went on the quiet to see if she was being adequately watched by the TA. The TA spent 20 of the almost 30 minutes chatting constantly and glancing at the pool periodically - even turning her back to the pool. They maintained she was being watched properly - rubbish. So I kept on sending her with no swim kit. After many letters flying between the head and myself, I ended up getting the GP to sign her off temporarily pending a hospital appointment and then the cardiologist signed her off permanently. In a previous post, I said talk to the school. However, to be clear, this is what I learned from talking to legal advice phone lines: You are legally not allowed to exclude your child from sport and school will not exclude your son on your say so. The only way therefore is to see the doctor and pay for a GP's letter. I am sure you have plenty of valid reasons for getting him signed off - big boys, anxiety about the situation upsetting him with an increased risk of asthma and as it is now a contact sport, it is dangerous if he ends up being injured etc. If you can also provide evidence that your son is participating in a more suitable out of school sport activity, this would I believe add weight. (The cardiologist was interested that my DD is swimming in a more suitable small class with the teacher in the pool).

This is why pe teachers have a reputation for being arse holes. What an idiot!

I hope your son's leg is better, that looks so nasty

The only PE teacher I ever knew - as a boy, as a father, or socially- who was not more or less of an arsehole was one for whom it was a second string, history being the first. It's only arseholes who become PE teachers and they get worse during their careers.

Fucking PE teachers :( Arms they haven't changed a bit in 20 years then. One day, someone will realise that this sort of shit is what puts people off sports.

I'm not sure what to say re the rugby stuff. My son is one of the shortest/leanest in his year but enjoys rugby and plays for the school team and a local team and even plays for the school year above. I am sick of all the injuries though but I imagine players of all shapes and sizes get injured just as much. I have told my younger son to stay the heck away from rugby and keep focusing on football!

WRT having to change it does seem totally ridiculous as his injury is quite obvious. I am not one for complaining to the school but I would actually put in a complaint about this teacher.

Our high school has a policy for injured/sick kids for PE.

They are expected to change (as much as possible. Broken leg would mean change into t-shirt) and be involved with the lesson. Usually be a linesman/referee or something similar.

They wouldn't be expected to play the sport. They wouldn't be expected to go on a muddy field on crutches. But they would be involved. Using their knowledge of the sport. Being helpful.

I would go,and have a chat with your head of year...

I'd be in with the PE teacher and the Headmaster first thing on Monday morning. At what point is that behaviour anything other than bullying?

The lad clearly has a heap of stitches and was on crutches for gawds sake

Irrespective of whether you bluff his case for him as regards full contact rugby this teacher threatened your son in order to make him get changed. He's a bully and you deal with them by fronting them out.

Can not believe that other parents would be fine with their children being treated like this

Actually, I've read more of the thread and I now think it was stupid and bullying to make him go up onto the field with a cut and stitches like that.

And yes, if that was my son, I would be complaining.

Irrespective of whether you bluff his case for him as regards full contact rugby this teacher threatened your son in order to make him get changed. He's a bully and you deal with them by fronting them out.

That is out of order and I would have a serious talk with the teacher, if it turns out he was just following school policy I'd consider contacting the school Governors and ask them to address institutional bullying. Also, I'd never make a child play a contact sport either, not unless they really wanted to, they may be secretly scared or just hate it, and feeling like that can make the whole school experience miserable. Plenty of senior doctors are saying full on rugby can cause serious injury and I don't know why schools insist on playing it. I refused to make either of my sons play rugby and they got involved in Ultimate Frisbee instead - it's recognised by the IOC now and while it can be fast and athletic, it's also fun and accessible, a team game with the emphasis on self-refereeing, good sportsmanship and the spirit of the game. X

Unless this is dealt with swiftly and to your satisfaction by the head teacher them I would (personally) report to Ofsted.
I can't imagine why anyone would suggest you don't.
At best this teacher's action was negligent and everyone here would benefit from a lesson in how not to cause pain, exacerbation of tissue damage and risk of infection to an injured person.

That's a good point FelicityF - ask them if they have done the appropriate risk assessments for him to be on a slippery muddy field on crutches ;)

OP how have you got on this morning? I'm with you on this one.

That looks really awful and I hope he's better soon. I think the main issue is that the PE teacher has mishandled the situation. I would talk to him/her about the school's protocol in such cases; perhaps it needs amending? It was
irresponsible IMO to get your son to walk on the muddy field using crutches - if he'd slipped he may have damaged his knee more and/or the stitches may have burst.
I do agree with you that you should have sent a letter of excuse though!

I'd be a rattled, it was a purely pointless exercise which would of caused your son even more pain getting changed.If he had slipped on that muddy field that school would have been liable for any injury caused .A risk assessment is carried out for every blinking thing and they would of been hauled over coals if ofstead had been in that day.It was plainly obvious that a note was forgotten and either 1 could of been provided the next day for records or if needed a quick call that day could of been made.

Contact sport in a school where there may be a bullying problem can be a recipe for disaster.

Schools should not be cultivating this sort of savage environment -- if they are not doing their utmost to stamp out bullying then they need to provide alternatives to contact sports.

.....
Could he have protected himself against a ball flying off the field as he stood in the cold on the sidelines? PPs ^^ have mentioned the danger of slipping in grass and mud.
I think this PE teacher actually put him in harm's way.

Even way back when I was in school in Dublin in the 70s and 80s there was a school library, and teachers who did not have a class did a rota of sitting in the library instead of the staffroom, doing corrections and supervising whatever students were called out of PE during that class period, as well as students sitting out religion. Is it impossible for schools to have a sensible approach like this?

It wouldn't work, because non contact time is mandated. You cannot expect a teacher to use their limited planning/prep time to supervise students. Any of my planning sessions involve meeting with other staff, running to the copier or calling parents, none of which could be done sitting in a library.