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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think this cut, on my son's leg, is bad enough to not do PE? *pic*

125 replies

WoodieBec · 13/03/2016 04:27

Hi all, I never use this site, I just occasionally come on and nose. However, I'm now looking for some advice on this situation...

My son is 12 (Yr 8) he's a good kid and rarely gets into trouble at school. I must admit, I do write his PE teacher a note, when it's rugby, so he can be excused (I say his asthma is worse when he plays contact sport) and the only reason I do that, is because he is very self-conscious of his height (he's probably one of the shortest in his year) and therefore, hates rugby because the taller children are too rough. It hasn't been an issue.

Around a week ago, he had an accident while playing outside with his friends. It was stupidity, but he has learnt from it (he was trying to climb some old fence). Anyway, he had a good amount of stitches and is having to use crutches.

He had PE a few days ago, and I didn't even think of sending him in with a note - it was obvious he had an injury... In all fairness, that's my poor lack of judgement. When my son said to his teacher he didn't have a note, when he asked, he was told to 'go and get changed then'. It was obvious that it was a stupid request, he is on crutches and cannot put weight on his leg. He said that he can't and that they should phone me, they didn't phone me. His teacher also said that if he didn't get changed, he would have to go to isolation. My son has always said that he never wants that on his record because he wants to be Yr 8 council rep. and they normally don't let you if you have gone there/had a detention, etc.

He decided to get changed (he had to use one of their kits, as his was at home due to him thinking he wasn't going to need it). My son was made to use his crutches all the way on to the top field, no, he didn't have to end up doing whatever sport they were doing, but he was still made to get changed and go to the top field in his crutches, where the grass was muddy and wet. AIBU to think this isn't on?

OP posts:
feudebois · 13/03/2016 07:35

Your son has a martinet for a PE teacher, and I would write to Ofsted and to the board of governors regarding the humiliation and pain inflicted on him on PE day. I don't think there are other words for it. I would not warn the school, I would just do it. Send the school a copy.

Wow. Just wow. As if the governors and ofsted don't have enough to do!

Hulababy · 13/03/2016 07:40

No wonder so many kids get out off doing exercise.

Rugby shouldn't be compulsory if it is touch rugby. The difference between boys going through puberty around his age can be huge. No one every got harmed by not playing rugby.

And the pe teacher should have applied common sense. Why on earth did your son, on crutches, need to change for pe when he clearly couldn't join in?

Sound like the pe teacher was in a control mission. I can make you change so I will. Ridiculous.

zoemaguire · 13/03/2016 07:46

Feude have you seen the injury rates for school rugby? They are horrific. It islike 1 in 4, many very serious indeed (think broken legs, heas injuries snd the like). It's a national outrage that it's played the way it is in schools, it has been on the news recently. The way things are, I certainly wouldn't be letting my boy participate were he in secondary school.

I'm amazed at the not seeing a problem crowd. Getting changed with a cut like that is non trivial, and standing on crutches in a middy field, all to give a cheap power trip to the PE teacher? I'd be raging, and trust me I'm really not a special snowflake kind of parent.

ilovesooty · 13/03/2016 07:47

Of course it's bad enough not to do PE, but no one made him do PE.
And your collusion with him in avoiding rugby is ridiculous. Talk to the school if there are issues.

zoemaguire · 13/03/2016 07:47

*muddy

TaintForTheLikesOfWe · 13/03/2016 07:50

Zoes post is dead right here - shize!

TeenAndTween · 13/03/2016 07:52

DD's school has the policy that you get changed and attend regardless.
You are then meant to participate as much as possible, even if only giving constructive comments from the sidelines.

We have much experience of this due to DD1's accident-proneness. Smile

If getting changed or carrying PE kit to school is an issue, then a note would need to be issued to that effect.

OliviaStabler · 13/03/2016 07:56

I don't see the issue here. Your son did not have a note excusing him from PE, so the teacher made him change like everyone else and go out to the field. He did not actually play any sport but was just watching.

CoraPirbright · 13/03/2016 08:01

Utterly ridiculous to make a boy on crutches get changed and go out to do PE (even though he actually ended up not doing it). Surely some common sense should be applied here? I would def go in and see the head.

However, I think you have seriously muddied the waters by constantly giving him notes to get him out of rugby. Being shorter is no excuse - I expect some of the bigger/taller boys aren't all that keen either but they just have to get on with it. Think about it - what are you teaching him? If there is something he doesn't like, mummy will write him a note? Not a good life lesson, imo.

Minisoksmakehardwork · 13/03/2016 08:02

Given that you usually write a note excusing him from PE, whilst it's bloody stupid given the obvious injury, the teacher could be forgiven for assuming you were ok with him attending the lesson. However, the getting changed to spectate is a bit daft makes note for when mine are at secondary.

I would make sure I was quite clear on what the school's policy regarding non-participation in PE lessons was before going in all guns blazing. But you wouldn't be unreasonable to ring/meet the school, apologise for sending no note if it was needed, but also ask that the school use some common sense when it comes to obvious issues which would mean non-participation. I'd also cover my arse and send in a note for every single PE lesson while he was on crutches.

A child on crutches and with stitching like that would clearly not be trying to pull a fast one. Participating would just cause further injury and tbh id've thought getting changed repeatedly and at a decent speed to keep up with the class would risk bursting the stitches.

However. It could also be the teacher is wise to the constant excuse regarding rugby and was seeing a way to get him to loosely participate. If rugby is that much of an issue then you need to speak to the school. I know once they get past a certain age it is contact rather than tag rugby. But it's one of those sports imo which should be voluntary choice to do. There are plenty of non contact sports which teach teamwork if that's their excuse. I also have short arse children, but one of them is built for rugby at the moment. The other, not so much.

From what I remember of secondary PE, our classes were very much divided by those who loved sports and threw themselves into everything, people who might not be the best but at least tried and those who tried to get out of it every week. The teachers favoured those who either had talent or who loved it, and made lessons hell for those who tried to get out of it as much as possible. I swear some of them were reliving their own terrible PE lessons.

dementedma · 13/03/2016 08:02

Why on earth do schools make them change into PE kit if they are not taking part and have a note. What an utterly pointless exercise. At Ds school, those not taking part stay in their uniform .

Fairylea · 13/03/2016 08:06

Shock that looks very sore and obviously quite a nasty cut, there is no way he should have been made to get changed and go to the field etc. Absolutely bonkers! I'd be very angry with the school.

SoupDragon · 13/03/2016 08:08

if your son had not gone to the "top field" with the rest of the class; who would you expect to drop everything to supervise your child?

The same person as would have been required to do it had there been a note. At my DSs school they work in the library.

SoupDragon · 13/03/2016 08:11

As an aside, one of the best players in DS2s school team is by far the shortest and plays at county level. Of course, he wants to play which is the difference.

Whilst I don't think people should be forced to do rugby, I don't really think lying about his asthma is a good thing.

phequer · 13/03/2016 08:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StitchesInTime · 13/03/2016 08:21

It's ridiculous making a child with an injury that means he can't walk without crutches at the minute get changed and go out to the top field. Is he sure that the teacher meant isolation as a punishment, rather than just somewhere he could sit out the lesson?

But I agree the business with the sick notes for rugby might be muddying the water. Have you spoken to the school about your concerns regarding the rugby? I wouldn't be happy with my DC playing rugby as a contact sport when they're 12 (one of my mum's friends told us a horrific story about an school rugby injury she witnessed as a teenager), but just sending in constant sick notes isn't the best way of addressing this issue.

HighwayDragon1 · 13/03/2016 08:25

At our school you HAVE to get changed even if you're not doing pe. If he'd have been outside watching and it rained he'd be soaked, in uniform for the rest of the day

cricketballs · 13/03/2016 08:25

My thoughts exactly phequer

LindyHemming · 13/03/2016 08:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mistigri · 13/03/2016 08:29

Teacher is obviously an arse, although no harm came of it on this occasion. Assuming your son was getting around OK on crutches then there was no reason he couldn't observe the sport class - though making him get changed was ludicrous.

In my son's school students who are injured (including those with notes) observe, help with refereeing etc as long as is feasible.

As for not doing rugby - totally justified. Contact rugby should be by consent only, and the children should be grouped by weight not age. I've excused my son from a badly supervised martial arts module at school because the boys were not matched by weight.

phequer · 13/03/2016 08:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SoupDragon · 13/03/2016 08:47

Rugby is on the national curriculum

I don't think full contact rugby should be, and I'm speaking as someone whose teen DSs have played since 6 or 7 and play for a club and school teams.

Ds2 is currently out having suffered a concussion at the end of January as he is still getting headaches. This was from training and, as I've said, he is a keen, experienced player having played since he was about 6. People who don't want to play full contact rugby should have an alternative.

bakeoffcake · 13/03/2016 08:53

The PE teacher sounds like a nasty bastard to me. reminds me of my old PE teachers

I would definately be complaining on Monday morning.

And I agree 100% with op your Rugby stance. There was a report out last week, detailing how awful the injury statistics are for rugby. I wouldn't want my son playing it.

bakeoffcake · 13/03/2016 08:55

I saw on our local news that some rugby clubs are sorting boys out by height, rather than age. This leads to much less injuries. This should be adopted in schools.

FelicityFunknickle · 13/03/2016 08:55

It was unfair, unneccessary and unkind to make him change into sport gear and go out onto the field.

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