to consider lending this money?

[metalmickie]

My partner and I have been together for over 2 years. We don't yet live together. He's planning to buy a house shortly.

I own my own home, am fairly comfortably off, I earn an ok amount but I am lucky to have a fair bit in savings (£33k). My partner has a much better job (although he only started it in the New Year) and some savings, about £10k, but also £8k owed on credit cards etc. To buy a house, he could use his savings, however the mortgage providers have said that they'd take his existing 'debt' into account - and in doing so it would mean he'd only be able to borrow about £40k less (and therefore couldn't afford a property big enough for him and his DC).

So, we talked about it, and if I lend him £20-25k, he will be able to use this as a deposit (having used his own savings to clear the credit cards). His current credit cards have a total limit of £45k, so he would have no problem borrowing back the money thereafter to reimburse me, as soon as the house purchase was completed. His mortgage repayments even if he borrows the maximum he can, will be £200 less than his rent now, so he has no concerns about affording it.

WWYD if you were me?

So, he earns £50k and he pays £700 a month in child maintenance.

How much will his mortgage be per month?How much will the repayment on a £25k credit card loan be each month?!
Bills?
Insurance?
Petrol?

It's sounding a lot!

Those that think it odd to know his full finances at this stage in the relationship, why is that odd? DH and I certainly knew both our financial situations as soon as we realised we were serious about each other

It's not that knowing his full finances is odd. That's pretty standard, I would think - salary, outgoings, child maintenance, rental costs etc normal part of conversation.

But having sat down and looked through his Experian reports, and seen the paperwork relating to the inheritance etc. strikes me as odd, especially when you don't have joint finances, and you're not living together, so you're not opening the post over breakfast or whatever. I just can't imagine why he's shown the OP the paperwork - how did it come up "Hey, OP, take a gander at my excellent credit ratings (on all 3 credit agencies)"?

But just because something seems odd to me doesn't mean it necessarily is - words on a screen are no substitute for real life experiences. But the OP did ask about something that seems like a financial car crash about to happen, hence the responses, I guess.

When I wasn't sharing finances, no I didn't know.
When we started having chars about living
Together then income and expenses were discussed. Even then it didn't include credit
Reports and other legal docs in regards
To children.

I find that rather bizarre. Especially when they aren't considering living together for at least another three years. Why would you have these in depth chats with someone in this scenario.

Would be interesting to hear how he found out about her savings. And how soon afterwards he came up with this idea.. To someone looking in, seems that he obsessed. What with showing her all this stuff to proof what a top bloke he is.

money always causes problems even with the tightest of friends/partners, dont do it if you cannot afford to lose it.

They've probably been discussing finances and credit reports etc because he's looking into whether he can buy a house. Nothing unusual in that. The op has also witnessed things for him before starting his new job.

The OP is long gone.

I suspect the poster who said she'd already lent him the money was correct.

his problems are HIS problems . He wants to use you to solve his problems. The key word is USE. He needs to own his problems and solve them himself. Stay clear of anyone who sees you as a solution to their problems.

Many articles around on how to cycle the money through accounts for max interest

Hence my £800 calculation for £30k savings is quite accurate and trust me, once set up, this is easy, no hassle
You need to see money as a priority though...

Is cycling the money around for max interest possible with savings too lorelei? I know about this with current accounts, and also that they have the best savings rates at the moment, but does it work with savings?

Sorry if this is OT, I just thought someone might as well get some useful financial advice from this thread. Since it ain't gonna be OP, might as well be me!

hi Jizzy - I was just about to remove the thread when I saw your post!

I've only found it necessary to cycle through with the high paying current accounts, because they are the ones that require you to put in £500 a month or whatever.

I haven't yet seen a set up with a savings account that would benefit from a regular cycling of money in and out IYSWIM? They are mostly just paying on the amount settled there.

If anyone wants the article re current accounts and savings, it's here -

www.moneysavingexpert.com/savings/savings-loophole

Thanks. I had heard about cycling with current accounts, and been considering it. Just got round to putting savings in something with a decent interest rate! This will be the next step. I don't have as much as OP but still want the interest.

OP TBH whilst you've clarified his approach (0%, sensible in recent year) and your own (bought early, frugal), I still wouldn't fund this.

I earn more than 50k and I can't forsee a circumstance where I would seek nearly 4x income as mortgage (has he factored in moving costs, surveyors, legal - these can quickly add up). We very briefly had 3.5x combined as bridging and that was grim.

Also, you frankly don't want him to overstretch himself and need bailng out by young if interest rates increase (which they will, albeit the when seems ever more nebulous).

Fundamentally though you can't 'lend' the money, without it being into consideration by mortgage company; you can gift the money, but what would be fairly stupid IMO; you could buy together and that might be worth exploring?

Finally though, I get the thing with rooms, but could he not buy a 3 bed flat to fulfil privacy of opposite sexed DC? If he's round yours all the time, how much is the outside space actually used for DC (for him, surely he could sacrifice it anyway if it led to getting rid of the debts and saving for your future home. An adult after all can take themselves out of an evening / weekend).

I've not disappeared, I work and rarely have time to access the internet during the day - some evenings I have activities, meetings etc.

I haven't committed any money yet, far from it. DP has only had the initial conversation with mortgage providers and confirmed in principle the amount they will lend. He's looked at houses online, indeed we both have, to get an idea of what that money could buy, but no viewings, offers or anything else.

A 3 bed flat, if cheaper, could work. However they seem pretty rare, searching the area there about 100 houses either for sale or sold in his price bracket. No flats bigger than 2 bed.

I am relieved by the small minority of posters who have said it might not be the best idea but that the general principle of planning future together, working together to solve this etc is as should be, just that there are better ways of doing it (buying 10% of house, or doing a btl and he rents from me,or similar). I am already looking into these alternatives.

I don't believe he is a scammer. I also don't think he is bad with money. He doesn't have expensive hobbies, doesn't smoke, drinks rarely (and then no more than 2-3 pints max). All his original debt he paid back in full from his own earnings, before he got married. Nothing from his ex w. His current debt is partly due to being out of work for 6 months. In that time he lived on savings, but wasn't clearing as much off his cc, and also putting some bills on there. In that time, he never asked me for a penny.

If he really wanted my money, he'd be pushing to marry me. 50% of the equity in my house is worth much more than 25k! Hence why I'd be reluctant to marry or live together in my house (risking my home scares me). I am not in a position to move nearer him due to my DC, and for various reasons he can't move nearer here, so living together in any house simply isn't possible right now.

I've asked before (I've name changed) but why can't he get his parents to take out a loan for him? It seems more 'normal' for parents to take a risk than a GF iyswim

If you cannot afford to lose £25k then don't lend him the money. How is he ever going to repay you quickly anyway? You can't just withdraw £25k cash back on a credit card - even if you could, the interest would be astronomical (o% interest doesn't tend to apply to cash advances). As for his massive past cc debt while on minimum wage - that does not add up at all. You can't accumulate that amount of debt just paying for some car servicing and other random bills. You might rack up a few grand but not to that extent. You sure he didn't have a gambling problem or something? If you're so cosy wig finances, have you looked at his old cc statements? Also, I find showing you the credit reports is a bit odd, I don't think that's normal behaviour really. It smacks a bit of oh look what a good risk I am, therefore to encourage you to hand over your money.

OK, assuming the mortgage lender is happy to accept your £20k as a gift towards the deposit and you trust your boyfriend to pay it back to you straight away - in practice, how would this happen? How would he get the cash advance from his CC company? Go into the bank and say 'please can you give me £20k in cash?'? Withdraw it in smaller amounts daily from the cash machine? There's normally a limit you can withdraw as cash as a percentage of your available credit limit, anyway.

And then, how much will his monthly CC repayments cost? At an interest rate of 20% (it won't be interest free) it will be a LOT to pay every month - if he wants to pay it off within 10 years, it will be about £300pm and that's a conservative estimate.

If you are insistent in helping him, I think buying the house with him is the only practical solution, but that's fraught with problems too.

I know you want to help him, but I honestly think you'll be making his life more difficult by doing this.

Relationship with parents is strained, he moved out at 16 (part of reason why he ended up in so much debt) but irrespective of this they are on state pension, so wouldn't be in any position to assist.

The money wasn't servicing or general bills, it was new car/ engine rebuild/ new car/ insurance/ etc, plus living on his own after gf moved out, some bad decisions on taking credit as a teenager because he had no advice, consolidation loans and so on. No gambling or other issues. This is so long ago there is no paperwork available, but I have no doubt what he's saying is true. He got his credit reports recently to check (knowing he was going to be applying for a mortgage) - we saw an ad about your credit score on tv, and i said oh what's yours, is it better than that?- so he said yes, and showed me. Pretty simple really.

Subject to legalities I am leaning towards buying 10% of house, if that will then enable him to get a big enough mortgage on the remainder, of course.

If you bought 10% of his house and he defaulted on his mortgage, his mortgage provider would get first crack at it.

Add legal costs to the mortgage and the mortgage providers costs, put against the sale of a defaulted mortgage property, and the chances are you wouldn't get your 10% back anyway.

What about the trust fund? Where does that fit in, if you don't mind me being curious. A friend's DD has one and the trustees permit a lot of living expenses including a car to be paid for out of it as the DD benefits from the parent having a roof and transport.

Discussing the option of you buying 10% of the house is a good move.

His reaction to that will tell you an awful lot about his long term intentions.

At the moment he just wants the cash, the above option is quite different and he might not be so willing to go for it.

Who suggested that you would loan him the cash?

How did this plan come about?

DO NOT DO THIS.

Can't you just keep you old house and do a buy to let in your name only so that he can rent the space from you

He needs to pay off his debt, and build up his savings again. It won't take forever.

Stay out of his affairs when it comes to money.

You think he won't have stuck with you for this amount of time if it was for the money?

hollow laugh

Do you have any idea how much time people will invest to get a sliver of that he's proposing to get out of you.

If you buy 10%, you won't be able to get that money out until he sells it. You'll potentially be tied up for decades.

If it's "only" £20k, it won't take him long to raise it. He could even sell something or get another part time job or something.

Do not lend him he money, do not buy the house or any part of it.

I hope it works out for you op. I can't believe so few of us work as a team in our relationships. You know your DP better than us. There is no reason why you can't look to the future together and plan for this, whilst still protecting your own assets. In my world that's pretty normal.
Relationships seem pretty rough looked at through the eyes of a lot of posters on this thread. Ok I know there are bad apples and you need to protect yourself worse case scenario, but wow the level of mistrust on here is phenomenal.

grape, money is money.
Would you lend it to him then?

She's known this bloke about 2 years, that's nothing. Her money is for her and her kids.