To request mumsnet to add a 'polyamorous families' section under parenting?

[whycantwegoonasthree]

There's every other kind of family type, pretty much, and polyamorous families have some unique joys and challenges that it would be nice to share and discuss.

Or maybe we're the last frontier and even MN aren't ready to go there.

Yet.

Hello whycantwe that's great about the teens. Teenagers are often a lot more open minded than the older generation aren't they. Good to meet another poly person on mumsnet, there are not many around!

YABU to bring this up in AIBU, I can't see what you expect to achieve.

I would imagine it's not very common and there won't be many people on the board, aside from those who disagree with what you are doing or want to ask questions such as 'why the hell would you inform your children' (which I'm wondering myself)

It wouldn't make any difference where you put it, I imagine, it's too big a niche

Triptrap - I would like to tell my children for the same reasons anyone would want to tell their children about a significant relationship.

We've been together almost three years, have a loving, committed relationship and I'd like my children to be part of that just like anyone else would. Just because my SO has another SO who is also a dear friend of mine makes no difference. It just means there are two people I love (in different ways) who I would like my children to get to know.

Point taken about BU to post in AIBU but as I said, it's hard to know where to put this. And AIBU is my default, as you're sure to get, um, a diverse range of opinions. And other poly folk are more likely to see it.

There are bereavement trolls so I'm not sure why trolls on the adoption board is a surprise.

Bereavement trolls? God. What happens to them? Do they get their accounts shut down?

Hi,
Our polycule are a family, we are involved in all of each others lives.
That's why we "inform our children".

All trolls get their accounts shut down.
It doesn't stop many of them. People are odd.

You'd probably get more traffic on a thread within relationships, tbh- I guess it depends whether it's more important to engage lots of posters or avoid trolls. I suppose you could always ask mnhq to move a thread out of the way if you do get trolled.

We do interact. Often. We're all going out this Wednesday night and my DPs OSO (other significant other - horrible term which I hate for many reasons but it's s convenient shorthand) and I do yoga together once a week and go out for dinner etc. We're not sexual with each other but we're still in a relationship.

But we don't want to all live together for both practical and other reasons. (We'd never be able to decide on wallpaper etc,)

Because it's too niche, what next? a bigamist parenting section? There must be forums out there for your set up if you look, as the saying goes if you can imagine it you can find it on the internet.

It wouldn't be for me, but i would find the threads interesting and an opportunity to ask questions. I didn't think it was much of a "thing" in the uk though.

MotherKat - eloquently put. Thanks!

And are you a cohabiting polycule, out of interest?

Why is it too niche? there are boards for adult colouring, knitting and goldfish owners FFS. I don't tend to look on them because im not interested, just as i dont look on the housekeeping threads, so yeah, maybe i wouldkn't be anything other than curious but i certainly woulnd't have a problem with it.

I think its pretty offensive to say it is too niche and suggest the OP looks elsewhere, after all isn't mumsnet about family life? There is a sex section too. To suggest the OP looks on other forums whiffs of "we don't condone" and i dont think that is within the spirit of the site.

As i said, i wouldn't even consider a polyamorous relationship, it simply wouldn't work for me, but it does work for other people and im interested in family dynamics.

TheoriginalLEM your post is exactly why I'd like to find a place on MN to talk about this stuff. With poly and non-poly people alike. Because 95% of the people on here are just brilliant... And I trust their opinions and viewpoints in the main.

*What you have isn't what is call a poly relationship set up.

What you have is the man getting his end away with two women who enable that for him.*

Yep

I agree this is too niche to warrant it's own section. Especially as your setup sounds like only one party is truly polyamorous. Your situation will be wildly different from three people living together all involved in a sexual relationship.

I think this is a bit of an attention seeking post tbh. Your situation sounds deeply tedious to me.

Phequer, actually what we have is a fairly common and recognised poly setup. And yes, while DP does 'get his end away' with two women it's a lot more than that. It's a long standing, loving relationship between three people who are involved in each other's lives and look out for and support each other in many aspects of life.

Ask yourself if you'd feel different if a) it was a woman with two male partners, or b) if the two partners of the same gender were also in a sexual relationship and then ask yourself why or if either of those facts should make a difference.

But ultimately I don't need you to understand my relationships, however it would be nice if more people could grasp the difference.

I think the issue OP is probably that we DO understand your relationship. It's nothing new.

I would describe myself as polyamorous even though I don't currently have any other relationships - I may do in the future and have done in the past, although they were very much secondary, and not all sexual in the traditional sense. As as DPs OSO, although these days she would probably describe herself as poly- minded mono. Because people's needs and desires change...

But for right now I'm quite content with my DP, and my DF. And so are they.