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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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to be in love with a 16 year old

554 replies

swordandsparrow · 04/03/2016 12:47

Im 23 with one child whos nearly 2.
He is 16, nearly 17 but has a proper baby face and could easily pass for 13 if he wasnt so tall.
We met at college where I study as a mature student.
Am i wrong to pursue this relationship, i really like him and we get on great but my friend at college says its wrong and i am too old for him Sad

OP posts:
babyboyHarrison · 04/03/2016 12:50

Its a little strange as he's so young at the moment but the actual number of years age difference isn't that much. Maybe keep in touch with him and if sometiing is meant to be it could happen in a few years time.

5madthings · 04/03/2016 12:51

Yabu to pursue a relationship yes, he may be a mature 16 but he is still 16. My ds1 is same age and very mature for his age but still would not be ready for a relationship with someone of that age with a child. He might like playing the grown up and be infatuated by it but in reality he is not mature enough at all despite being a very sensible boy.

If you really love him leave him alone and wait until he is 18 at least and see how you feel then.

TooOldForGlitter · 04/03/2016 12:52

If this is serious....yes, you are too old for him. Stay friends for a couple of years until he has had chance to mature.

DixieNormas · 04/03/2016 12:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IlikePercyPig · 04/03/2016 12:52

I know plenty of couples with bigger age gaps.

FigMango1 · 04/03/2016 12:52

Er yes Yabu. I doubt any 16yo would want to get involved with anyone with a child.

Shinyshoes2 · 04/03/2016 12:53

As a mother of an 18 year old who's being pursued by a 26 year old Id say yes ! Stay away !
But perhaps i'm biased
Yknow that 16 year olds can't leaglly get married , vote , buy alcohol , cigarettes or a scratch card , enter a betting shop
This tells me that tgis 'child' is not an adult

TooOldForGlitter · 04/03/2016 12:53

I know plenty of couples with age gaps too PercyPig, me and my husband included, but 16? Come on.

Shinyshoes2 · 04/03/2016 12:54

Nowadays you can't leave education until your 18 so in theory they're stil in school
And why would you be attracted to someone that looks 13 !

DustyBustle · 04/03/2016 12:55

Don't be daft

defineme · 04/03/2016 12:55

I would leave it. There is a big difference between a 16 year old and a twenty something. ..he was legally a child last year. Someone his age doesn't need a relationship with someone that would potentially set them up with stepchildren etc-would you want that for your child when they're 16?
Use your head and leave it.

waitingforsomething · 04/03/2016 12:56

Yes it's too young. Not the actual age gap but 16 is very young in terms of maturity. I would be leaving well alone until he's at least 18

Fuzz01 · 04/03/2016 12:56

No thats totally wrong hes a child. I you think about the fact he would of been 13/14 years old when you had your child! I would not be happy if i had a 16 year old son and there was a 23year old with a 2year old. He isn't old enough to drink,smoke etc. It's different if he was an adult but hes a teenager.

attheendoftheday · 04/03/2016 12:56

He's a child and I think you should stay away!

In a couple of years if you still feel the same think about it then.

WorraLiberty · 04/03/2016 12:57

Yes it's wrong and the fact that he looks 13 makes it sound a bit pervy.

NerrSnerr · 04/03/2016 12:58

In theory it's ok but is he mature enough to be in a relationship with someone with a child? It is odd you'd fancy someone who looks 13 though, has he even gone through puberty if he looks so young?

Justforthisfred · 04/03/2016 12:58

I am surprised that you even need to ask. He's a 16 year old KID, you are not.

squoosh · 04/03/2016 12:58

The age gap is fine.

But not at this stage in your lives. Put him out of your mind.

SaggingTits · 04/03/2016 12:59

Yanbu to feel that way but I'm also 23 and really cannot imagine going out with a 16yo. It's not a huge age difference but big difference maturity wise, especially as you are a parent.

Sparklingbrook · 04/03/2016 12:59

AS the parent of a 16 year old DS I would say a big no.

And YY the 'easily pass as a 13 year old' is not great.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 04/03/2016 12:59

You're attracted to someone who looks 13?!
Wow...

Bonkerz · 04/03/2016 12:59

At 16 I was dating a 29 year old. We were together for 3 years. Love of my life.

WorraLiberty · 04/03/2016 13:00

And "In love"

Really?

bogofeternalstench · 04/03/2016 13:00

I met my husband when he was 16 & I was older than 23. He's now in his 20s and we don't get the raised eyebrows or outright condemnation anymore, thankfully. Sometimes it works. Depends very much on the people involved. Just be prepared for a bumpy ride if you do pursue a relationship with him.

swordandsparrow · 04/03/2016 13:00

i only said the 13 thing because of how baby faced he is, he obviously isnt and i wouldnt of started talking to him if i hadnt of seen him in college

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