to be in love with a 16 year old

[swordandsparrow]

Im 23 with one child whos nearly 2.
He is 16, nearly 17 but has a proper baby face and could easily pass for 13 if he wasnt so tall.
We met at college where I study as a mature student.
Am i wrong to pursue this relationship, i really like him and we get on great but my friend at college says its wrong and i am too old for him

1. Put yourself in his parents' shoes. I'd be seriously bothered by a 23 year-old trying to have a relationship with my 16 year-old DS.

2. What's the point? Do you want a long term relationship or just something casual? Because, let's face it, most relationships with 16 year-olds aren't going to last long.

You're probably quite immature, but c'mon you're not that immature, surely?

It's where the age gap is, I think more than what the age gap is. For example, ppl wouldn't look twice at a 50yr old man married to a 30yr old woman.

I know 16 is classes as an adult in a sexual relationship, however, mentally I just don't think it would work. I teach 16+ and they can literally change by the month, one month they're into pulling all-nighters with their mates, the next they're settling down with a girl/boy, the next they're wanting to be entrepreneurs! The point being, at that age there is a lot of growing and 'finding yourself' going on. There is going to be a lack of stability for you and your dc as a lot can change from 16 onwards, going to college, uni, work, etc.

OP, I'm leaping to a load of conclusions here, but it sounds like you see him as a child. He quite possibly sees you as a mother. I fear that perhaps part of your interest is that he may be quite pliable and very much do what you want him to do, and I also fear that you are perhaps desperate for someone who doesn't challenge you to accompany you in your life as a lone parent. That's not what a sixteen year old should be doing. Can you not find a partner of your own age and who can at least watch 18 films?

Squoosh said it better^.

You are way way too old for him. Step away now before you get that label. And look at your boundaries for the future, because you really shouldn't even need to ask this.

There are loads of other blokes in the world who are way more appropriate for you. I'd leave this one. BTW it's super gross that he looks 13 and you still fancy him.

This is seriously creepy. You even had to point out that he looks 13. You claim to be in love with him.

Stay away from this child.

I wouldn't be happy if it was my son. Plus it's extremely unlikely to last.

Also, if you went on a date, he would likely be using pocket money from his parents to pay. That's not cool.

What an oddbod

If he were working on a till in a supermarket and you tried to buy alcohol, he'd have to put his hand up so a supervisor could oversee the transaction.

Wait until he's 18. And actually looks as if he's an adult.

so is the general consensus to wait until next year when hes 18

The age gap itself isn't an issue, but the ages are.

He is still a child and will do a lot of growing up in the next few years. Regardless of how mature you think he is, it isn't fair to him to pursue a relationship, particularly not when you have a child of your own.

Leave him to enjoy and experience his final teenage years without the pressures of adult relationships and adult problems. Pursuing a relationship would be inordinately selfish.

Also, 'he looks 13'? Really?! I can just imagine a man coming on here and saying he's 'in love' with a 16 year old girl that looks 13. He'd be torn to shreds. It isn't right and you know it.

Leave the boy alone.

Yes but just because you are at the same college doesn't mean it's not inappropriate. 18 year olds are often at school alongside 12 year olds - doesnt mean they should date. bogifeternalstench was condemned and i assume she didn't have kids?
I look for love and support in my relationships -what can a 16 year old give you?

when you're 50 he will only be 43. Think on that.

An age gap of 7 year isn't itself a big problem. I'm 35 and last year I briefly dated a 42 year old. Nobody batted an eyelid. If he were 19 that would make all the difference.

But he is so very young. This time last year he was a child and you could have been prosecuted for pursuing a relationship with him. It may be legal now but it's still a very poor idea. It would be selfish of you. He needs to have fun with girls his own age, not get in over his head with someone older and with a child of their own. If you care for him, leave him alone.

so is the general consensus to wait until next year when hes 18

No, its to go out with someone your own age. Or no-one. But certainly not children.

Ugh

Next!

When I was 16 I was going out with a 24 year old guy. People see it differently if the woman is older, but why? In Scotland 16 year olds are adults, can get married etc etc.

I think I'd be equally unhappy if my 16 year old son or 16 year old daughter were going out with a 24 year old.

Oh ffs.
1/10.
Really.