to be in love with a 16 year old

[swordandsparrow]

Im 23 with one child whos nearly 2.
He is 16, nearly 17 but has a proper baby face and could easily pass for 13 if he wasnt so tall.
We met at college where I study as a mature student.
Am i wrong to pursue this relationship, i really like him and we get on great but my friend at college says its wrong and i am too old for him

I was 21 and my partner was 31 obviously not the same but if it makes you feel better i look about 12 and we always get funny looks but we've been together 4 years.

Try to see it from his parents' point of view because they are, after all, still responsible for him right now.

I am the parent of 18 and 19 yo boys and I would not be at all happy about either of them seeing a 23 girl with a child. I'm sorry, it's harsh, but I wouldn't see a 23 yo parent as someone in the same phase of their life as my teenage boys.

If it is meant to be, then wait a couple of years until he is at least an adult and perhaps will have the means to support himself or have some idea of where his life is going career wise. (though neither of my boys are in that position yet).

"I don't like him because of how young he looks I like him because I've never met anyone who I get on with like I do him"

Do you think that part of the reason you like him is because he reminds you of a time before you had responsibilities? Although having children in your early 20s used to be very common, it's less so now. So perhaps you feel you missed out on some more youthful experiences and he is a way of going back in time for you.

But if you really like each other then waiting another year won't hurt. And if it isn't serious and won't last, it's best not to mess around with someone so young. And I'd say that if the genders were reversed.

There is a massive difference between 16 year old and a 23 year old. Especially if that 23 year old has a child. Having a child provides far more life experience than a 16 year old would have.

Yabu. Especially as you acknowledge he looks 13. It's a bit sick tbh.

Imagine a 23 year old man saying he fancies a 16 year old that looks a 13 year old?

he is an adult and can do what he likes really

Um, no he isn't. He needs to be 18 to be an adult and do what he likes.

It's not 15 and 29, it's 16/17 and 23. Honestly it's not a huge age gap. If you are in love, don't worry about what others say. Men date women that are 10 or 15 yeas younger than them ALL THE TIME and everyone thinks it is fine. It's just sexism.

I can't get past he looks 13. How on earth can anyone be sexually attracted to someone who looks 13, that is absolutely sick inducing.

People will frown on this, mainly because he's 16 not because there is an age gap. That said he is over the age of consent so you wouldn't be doing anything wrong if you did develop a relationship with him.

There is the same age gap in me and dh. I was 21 though. It's not the age gap that bothers me. It's the age of the younger person.

Oh ffs really?
It's not sexism at all, my eyebrows would raise right off my face if a bloke in their twenties started dating a 16 year old girl as well.
They are children. They have never lived as an adult and have no life experience whatever.
I don't give a fuck about age gaps, I don't care if a 25 year old wants to go out with a pensioner but this is a completely different issue.

When I was 16 I was dating men much much older than 23 however looking back now I think they were completely wrong for pursuing a relationship, it wasn't the age gap it is the fact I was in fact a child still. I thought it was ok at the time and I was treated well generally.

I met DH when I was 25 and he was 38 so I have nothing against an age gap, ours is so much bigger than in the OP but it is his age as he is still a child.

My DH is 9 years older than me and I was 18 when I met him. I was very mature for my age. BUT I think 16 is too young. If you'd said he was 18 I don't think it would be that bad. I don't think I would be over the moon about my 16 year old son seeing a 23 year old with a child. Sorry.

Men date women that are 10 or 15 yeas younger than them ALL THE TIME and everyone thinks it is fine
Not when the girl is 16.

i dont fancy him because he looks young for gods sake.
i personally dont think he looks 13, it was my friend that said it and i mentioned it because she had said to me if he didnt look so young she wouldnt think it was so bad

I went out with a 23 year old when I was 16. We stayed together for years. Do what makes you happy.

Christ alive. To be completely honest no, I don't think it's okay. I wouldn't want to live in a society that condones a relationship between a sixteen year old child of any gender and an adult, let alone an adult with a child.

Sorry not sorry

I am shocked at some of these comments, someone under 18 is not an adult.

I am not saying it will always not work out but it is not ideal, a 16/17 boy is not usually mature enough to take on someone elses child.

I do feel hypocritical saying it though as I was seeing men over 20 from when I was 15.

i dont fancy him because he looks young for gods sake.

Why do you fancy him? You aren't impressed by his house and car I guess.

Presumably his brains, our Sparklers.

Do you really think a 16yo wants to take on someone with a child? Give your head a wobble. Grow up, he is a child and you have a child yourself.