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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not move DS out of guestroom even though it means PILs will have to sleep on sofa-bed?

307 replies

Chiup · 02/03/2016 14:33

They are coming from overseas to stay for a month (possibly longer). DSil may come too. We have a 2-bed house. It feels cramped already.

DS is 8months. We've just moved his cot into guestroom to assist with sleep-training. DH feels we should move him back into our bedroom for duration of visit but I don't want to. It's his room now. He sleeps better in own room, as he used to wake every time we got up to use ensuite or snored! It's also nice to have all his toys in one place and I've turned the double bed into a play area.

We can offer PILs our double sofa-bed in lounge or they could get a hotel/holiday apartment nearby. I'd prefer the latter but it's obviously expensive and inhospitable. Sil could sleep on floor or have sofa-bed if PILs get a hotel. They are lovely people but I find it stressful having guests. I also don't want to give up our bedroom to them as I need to be on same floor as DS for night feed and settling him.

AIBU?

OP posts:
FigMango1 · 02/03/2016 14:52

Why don't you give them your room If you are so desperate to not disrupt ds routine?

curlywurly4 · 02/03/2016 14:54

I'd be really upset if DH expected my parents to sleep on the sofa for a month. What does he think about it?

squoosh · 02/03/2016 14:55

A month is actually two decades in guest years.

stiffstink · 02/03/2016 14:55

The rudest part to me is that you say there is a double bed in DS's room which is a "play area" - yet you expect 3 adults to sleep in your living room when there's a far less cramped and inhospitable option available - ie moving the baby.

BarricadesBabe · 02/03/2016 14:56

I don't think you're being U.

Regardless of how old your DC is, fact is that you've already moved him out and made the changes and it would be a nuisance to reverse them. If they were coming for a week I'd say fine, but three of them, for a whole month? In a 2-bed house?

summerainbow · 02/03/2016 14:56

You are prepare to give up your living room for aa month . What I'd your son is ill or teething you really want be stuck in son room all night long .
If you did not want them to stay you should have said so.

NerrSnerr · 02/03/2016 14:56

You could give them your room? We often do that with guests and my husband goes on the settee and I go on a camp bed in the toddler's room.

hotchilipepper · 02/03/2016 14:56

Good lord 6 weeks. If you invited them you'll have to suck it up. If they invited themselves they'll have to sleep where they're put.
I have a 2 bed house as well and wouldn't invite anyone to stay ever as there isn't the room and i wouldn't dream of turfing DD out of her room for 6 weeks.

ComeonSummer1 · 02/03/2016 14:59

God I would absolutely hate house guests for a month however close the family unless we lived in a mansion with servants.

Still you have to move your ds S you well know. Surely your dh would insist on it anyway.

Keeptrudging · 02/03/2016 14:59

Did you move baby into their own room before or after you found out they were coming?

HandsomeGroomGiveHerRoom · 02/03/2016 14:59

I'm not expecting a medal for this, but when my friend needed a couple of months to find their feet after returning from overseas, I moved my baby back in with me and my friend had my baby's bedroom.

If you liked your relatives, you would do the same.

ComeonSummer1 · 02/03/2016 15:00

Yes and if you invited them it's different to them inviting themselves with dil in tow.

squoosh · 02/03/2016 15:01

Hmm. I think you'd quite like a little medal though. Otherwise you wouldn't given the little dig with 'If you liked your relatives, you would do the same'.

fusspot66 · 02/03/2016 15:02

If they have the baby's room, their mess and clutter will be more contained. I sympathise with you. Adding SIL for a whole month us too much.

321zerobaby · 02/03/2016 15:02

Yanbu to give up your baby's room, but perhaps you should offer them your room instead?

purplefizz26 · 02/03/2016 15:04

Yanbu

It's your house FFS!

If somebody wanted to come and stay in my house for a holiday we would be in the same situation. Hell would freeze over before i would move my DD back to our room.

Original poster
Chiup · 02/03/2016 15:04

We can't give up our room as I need to be on same floor as DS for night feed. And he often wakes in night, we use gradual withdrawal sleep training method so it's handy to have him in his own room. When he's teething I sleep in with him in guestroom.

Tickets haven't been booked yet. No formal invitation, just an assumption on both sides they would come when they could and they've suggested a good time.

OP posts:
Sal1977 · 02/03/2016 15:05

What happens if they want to go to bed early? Will you be turfed out of the lounge to go and sit in your bedroom? What if they want a lie-in? Will you have to tip toe around downstairs whilst keeping DS quiet?

Stick the baby in your room, bung them out of the way in the guest room. It's not that big a deal in the whole scheme of things.

Good luck!

CremeEggThief · 02/03/2016 15:06

Why don't you go in with your DS and let them have your room? Surely it will be far more of a pain to have your lounge at limited times for a month?Confused

Fourarmsv2 · 02/03/2016 15:08

Could you put a travel cot in your ensuite and use the main bathroom?

SootyTheCat · 02/03/2016 15:08

I think the OP is getting a hard time here. She clearly states in her OP that the baby sleeps better in the spare room. As a sleep-deprived parent I know how precious I am about my baby's sleep. Putting the baby back in their room will mean baby sleeps worse and the OP sleeps worse, while also having to deal with a lot of people in a small house (5 adults incl SIL) all of whom would also be disturbed by a crying baby at night.

OP also states it may be 4 weeks or longer... that's a long time. Personally I would not have agreed to that in a million years. Perhaps the arrangement was made some time ago and now the OP is faced with the practicalities of the visit, the reality is hitting?

OP I would be looking at making arrangements for them to rent a flat locally short term, to give you all some space and privacy, and possibly contributing to their costs if thats an issue and you are able to, unless you get on really really really well...

curlywurly4 · 02/03/2016 15:08

I would go in with DS and give them your room. Easy to continue the gradual withdrawal once they've left.

HandsomeGroomGiveHerRoom · 02/03/2016 15:09

squoosh that wasn't meant as a dig. If Op's in-laws are horrors, then she absolutely isn't being U.

OTheHugeManatee · 02/03/2016 15:10

YABU to consider putting your PIL on the sofa for a month when an 8mo baby gets his own private room. They ABU for coming for a whole month though.

Anyway I think if you have them in the sitting room you will feel more crowded out and inconvenienced than you would if you needed to set DS' sleep training back a couple of months with a change of routine.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 02/03/2016 15:10

A month is actually two decades in guest years.
Grin
At DS's age it seems unreasonable to let him have a big room to himself while everyone else muddles through.
To me the suggestion that you and DH give up your bedroom seems the best solution. The play area will have to be temporarily shelved.
If SIL is coming it is admittedly a squeeze with five adults and I would look into local B&Bs.