To not move DS out of guestroom even though it means PILs will have to sleep on sofa-bed?

[Chiup]

They are coming from overseas to stay for a month (possibly longer). DSil may come too. We have a 2-bed house. It feels cramped already.

DS is 8months. We've just moved his cot into guestroom to assist with sleep-training. DH feels we should move him back into our bedroom for duration of visit but I don't want to. It's his room now. He sleeps better in own room, as he used to wake every time we got up to use ensuite or snored! It's also nice to have all his toys in one place and I've turned the double bed into a play area.

We can offer PILs our double sofa-bed in lounge or they could get a hotel/holiday apartment nearby. I'd prefer the latter but it's obviously expensive and inhospitable. Sil could sleep on floor or have sofa-bed if PILs get a hotel. They are lovely people but I find it stressful having guests. I also don't want to give up our bedroom to them as I need to be on same floor as DS for night feed and settling him.

AIBU?

[lem73]

Just to be clear, I lived in the middle east for several years and I never saw any of dh's family squash themselves together like that. Visitors from abroad stayed in hotels.

[Hamishandthefoxes]

I think the op is insisting the guests are put first by offering to pay for a flat or hotel for them.

We have family abroad and even with our own rooms and no babies we were all feeling on top of each other after 2 weeks. If the op's DH insists on putting them up in the flat it will destroy the relationships for ever!

[LaurieMarlow]

Grey, there was nothing actually empathetic or helpful about your post. It was just a big up to you. Super .

I'm getting increasingly cheesed off with this type of behaviour and going to keep calling it out. What did you think you were adding to the conversation?

[rookiemere]

I guess I have been extremely lucky with DS's sleeping pattern, but I'm a bit bemused that all normal life, including planning any holidays, has to stop for up to a year to accommodate a "sleep training regime".

What happens if you have more than one DC, or indeed relatives to visit or any sort of life to lead? As it seems to me it might be a little difficult to enforce this if you also have an older child who might benefit from the occasional change of scene.

Look I get that sleep is important, really I do, hence why I'm not one of the people advocating that the DS moves into the parents room, but surely provided the fundamentals are there - dark curtains, set bedtime and bedtime routine, it's not necessary for the DC to spend every night in the same room ?

[ActivelyAnxious]

OP, my PILs also come for long visits. They are now on their fifth visit and they will be staying in a holiday cottage nearby. It results in such happier visits for all concerned! They get to have their morning routines, we have ours, we spend the whole day together and then get to have our own bathrooms to ourselves for getting ready for bed at night etc.

I am an introverted person and it just sets my teeth on edge never being able to feel 'alone' from guests. I love my ILs but when they have stayed with us in our home on previous visits I've just felt so awful the whole time through that I didn't really enjoy them being around, and I'm sure was grumpier and snappier than I would have been otherwise. When we first mooted the idea of a cottage to them it took a while to 'sell' the idea - to explain that it was nothing to do with not wanting to spend time with them but rather wanting everyone to be more comfortable - but now they've tried it I don't think they'd look back. They benefit from the extra space too!

[randomsabreuse]

For me, in what sounds like a smallish house (no separate dining room) there would be an issue with space regardless of baby's sleeping arrangements. Add in sleep deprivation and you have major flash points when you get under each others feet. I have a 3/4 bed house with dining room, kitchen, living room and large conservatory. When my inlaws visit breakfast is a major flash point as they faff around the kitchen while I'm trying to get cereal. Much worse if sleep deprived!

[paxillin]

Yabu. I thought DS would be a teenager or something from the thread title (in which case he wouldn't need to give up his room for a month). A baby can hand over his room.