To not move DS out of guestroom even though it means PILs will have to sleep on sofa-bed?

[Chiup]

They are coming from overseas to stay for a month (possibly longer). DSil may come too. We have a 2-bed house. It feels cramped already.

DS is 8months. We've just moved his cot into guestroom to assist with sleep-training. DH feels we should move him back into our bedroom for duration of visit but I don't want to. It's his room now. He sleeps better in own room, as he used to wake every time we got up to use ensuite or snored! It's also nice to have all his toys in one place and I've turned the double bed into a play area.

We can offer PILs our double sofa-bed in lounge or they could get a hotel/holiday apartment nearby. I'd prefer the latter but it's obviously expensive and inhospitable. Sil could sleep on floor or have sofa-bed if PILs get a hotel. They are lovely people but I find it stressful having guests. I also don't want to give up our bedroom to them as I need to be on same floor as DS for night feed and settling him.

AIBU?

[Pooka]

I'm another who thinks that you should move in with him for the duration of the stay, pils in your room, and then when they've gone you can do gradual return to your room. Less disruptive for him that moving into your room.

[wizzywig]

Would you be happy fot your family to sleep on a sofa bed for a month?

[PennyHasNoSurname]

You and dh sleep in the double bed in ds room and let the guests have your room and ensuite.

[NerrSnerr]

My opinion still is that it would be rude. I would move the baby in with me, or move in with the baby.

[Peasandsweetcorn]

Definitely give them the second bedroom. Otherwise, you will be on top of each other all of the time & will have to go to bed at the same time (or them go to bed after you) and get up at the same time (or them get up before you). If they're not in the second bedroom, where will they keep their clothes & things? How big is DS' cot? Could it fit in your en suite if you don't want him actually in your room?
My parents live 5 hours away & come and stay for up to a week (usually as I need childcare help!). In an early visit, it became apparent that they, especially my Dad, needed some peace & quiet so I managed to squash a chair & a lamp into the spare room so he can escape in there to read if he wants and we've got adept at moving the kitchen TV up there if he wants to watch yet another history programme (there really isn't room to have a TV in there properly.

[squoosh]

Is this likely to turn into an annual thing OP?

[willconcern]

Can't you talk to your ILs, OP, tell them the problem you've got, and see what solution they come up with? They may offer to stay in a hotel, or local apartment or something.

[nephrofox]

I don't think you're being unreasonable at all.

I think you need to stop referring to it as "the guest room" and call it "X's room" instead. Paint it in a Thomas the tank engine theme this weekend if you get the chance! It's his room, put his stamp on it. I hate the idea of longterm visitors anyway, but particularly in small houses

[Chocolatteaddict1]

Why are they even coming for month !! 😱

It sounds like it's mutual agreement which is a pre planned stay with your full consent.

Can you say yo have a bad back and need your own bed so will pay half towards a B&ab for them ?

[Peasandsweetcorn]

I'm also a bit concerned about the reference to the double bed being the play area. My DC fell off the bed a few times as did other DC I know without doing themselves any harm but I know two who were injured and a few others who were taken to minor injury units by, with hindsight, pfb parents. Whilst your DS may not be mobile yet, he will be at the end of their visit in 10 weeks & so the bed play area won't be relevant for long.
Also, how old are your PILs and how is their physical health? Sofa beds are rarely as comfortable as proper beds and so are more likely to aggravate any back or other problems.

[Katastrophe13]

I think you should prob have him back in with you to be courteous but I do feel your pain. A month is a long time.

[hmcAsWas]

Think of it from your PILs perspective. They are going to feel like they are not wanted and not welcome

[coconutpie]

YANBU. You only have a 2 bed house. There is just not enough room for them to stay. Go suss out some local B&Bs, hotels, rentals or AirBnB. Staying for a month in a 2 bed? Hell no.

[witsender]

Yabu, sorry. At 8 months old they don't need a whole room, whereas having a couple kipping in the living room for a month would make the place feel much smaller and cluttered. And would impact you much more as your living room would be out of bounds at certain times etc. And a hotel for a month seems a bit silly.

[eyebrowse]

IF PIL are coming from many countries overseas eg NZ Australia and probably many developing countries, it is the culture that you stay with family so they might be very hurt if you send them to a hotel. Also they don't get to see their grandchild very often I assume

However accomodation is much smaller in the UK. Can you go on holiday with them for a week or two to somewhere with more bedrooms or/and send them away for a few days in the middle exploring a different part of the UK?

[Gabilan]

A month is actually two decades in guest years

It is. Never mind a medal. I'd want an awards ceremony and an after party worthy of the Oscars.

OP I would give them a room of their own rather than the living room - because it will give you more privacy than if they're always in the living room. I would investigate renting a local flat for a month, especially if SIL is coming as well. Failing that, I would suggest that whilst they're over here there are some amazing places in the UK within easy travelling distance and they should explore them. Whilst staying in B&Bs and using your place as a base to return to.

[Secondtimeround75]

YABU
I think they should get a bedroom.

We keep a single bed mattress under our bed & dd is used to bunking in with us when we have guests.

[ChickyChickyParmParm]

A month is actually two decades in guest years

So so true. My ILs came for a month, we almost killed each other! And we have a big house with spare bedrooms/bathrooms etc. There was also no question of them going to a hotel.

I feel your pain, OP. But pretty rude making them sleep in the lounge sorry.

[Greyponcho]

I'm with Galbian on them doing some exploring, so you get a break from them

[MrsTerryPratchett]

A month is actually two decades in guest years. We have worked out (family all live thousands of miles away) that a month is too long. Three weeks, preferably with a mini-break away in the middle, is just about bearable.

[SmellySourdough]

yanbu
you don't have a guest room.
so sofa it is!

[SimonLeBonOnAndOn]

If there are beds in the guest room, which I presume there are otherwise what do guests sleep on in there? Why don't you sleep in there with the baby and PILs have your room.

I think you need to speak to each other really about the whole thing.

[chibsortig]

You'll find it less of a nightmare if they have their own room rather than using your lounge to sleep trust me.
What if you want to stay up and watch tv and PIL want to go to sleep? Same for getting up on a morning and PIL are still asleep in your lounge.
I would definitely move Ds back in with you for this time but in future suggest they stay at a hotel unless you move to a bigger home and are able to accommodate them.

[Bluebolt]

I would hate people sleeping in my living room for that amount of time, that would be much more stressful than sharing with a baby.

[alltouchedout]

It's not a guest room, is it? It's DS's room.

TBH I'd move the baby out, but then again I wouldn't have guests for a month.

Or can you get an airbed into that room and move in there with DH and the baby for the month?