To just not understand people who interrupt?

[MattDillonsPants]

I've had to have a serious word to DH today because of his bad habit of interrupting. We had a friend to stay for two days and nights and this friend is a VERY funny guy. He's a brilliant story teller and a great listener so I was MADDENED by DH's constant interruptions.

He'd interrupt our friend AND me in mid flow...DH isn't shy and gets his turn to speak but that wasn't enough and he wanted OUR turns too.

I asked him about it...also pointed out that his habit of entering a room already speaking loudly as he comes in is BAD. He does this and ruins current conversations.

Why do people do it? He says he might forget what he has to say but I'm dumbfounded by that...if someone's telling a great story, WHY would you ruin it like that? SO selfish.

I was kind about it because I think he had no idea how bad it was....he took it on board and also apologised to our friend who was interested in the habit...he wanted to know where it comes from because he's the sort ofguy who loves learning more about people. ANyway...if you do this why?

I think I interrupt sometimes because I am an Aries and can't bear wasting time or time wasters! I did not even know I did it until recently my daughter told me it really annoys her - consequently I am now making a conscious decision to always wait until there is a gap in a conversation until I open my mouth - very stressful!

I feel quite shitty now. But I know I'm not disinterested... on the contrary I am over-excited and want to enthuse and contribute. That's not an excuse.. it's the truth. Doesn't make it acceptable I realise and I AM working on it... I don't SEEM to offend people left right and centre. Maybe I do it more with some than others.. More likely tho, it's probably only DP that would point it out to me...

I do it all the time, it drives my husband insane, he will actually say to me in front of the person I have interrupted, to shut up and let them finish 😳. I call it word vomit, It just comes out. I'm trying very hard to stop it now, as i hate it when people do it to me.

Oh I'm currently training myself to stop doing this. It's an absolute horrid habit and comes across very rude. I tell myself off every time I catch myself doing it!

Jesse - don't feel shitty, I think there's a big difference in being enthusiastic in what people are saying and wanting to contribute, than just talking over them and not listening. As long as you ask questions and are interested in the other person, they'll hopefully not think you're being too rude. You're just eager

My youngest is the chatterbox of the family. If you asked him about his day you better have time to listen because no detail was so small it could be over looked. We (rudely, I know) got in the habit of interrupting him because he took so long to tell his story. He got his own back though. Once whoever interrupted finished talking he would start again, from the very beginning...it didn't take us long to realise it was better to let him finish than listen to the same story multiple times!

He's now a sulky teenager who spends most of his time on his xbox (talking non stop to his friends on the headset. We wonder if they ever get a word in edgeways! )

I do this a bit. I try not to.

It's simply lack of interest in what someone else is saying compared with one's own point of view.

It's the direct opposite reason for me. If I wasn't interested in what you were saying, I wouldn't be listening hard enough to have anything to interrupt with!

But ironically, Thatsnotmyrabbit, you don't seem to be listening to what posters are saying. People have told you that they do it because they are deaf, have ASD, have ADHD, that it's completely normal in their families and or friends... but you seem to still be insisting that it's because they're rude and arrogant.

I do it all the time. And it is not because I have no interest in what the person is saying!! I'm very interested in what they are saying, I get enthralled and excited and want to agree with them, so I say "yes, yes, I know...."

They only do it because we allow it to continue. So next time tell them to shut up. Wether is about a lack of respect a
disregard of healthy boundaries or a lack of Self awareness.

My interrupting:

"You didn't"
"You did"
"OMG, what happened THEN"
"I did that once, never again"
"Then what happened"
"Well I never"

Drives my husband wild. My friends don't seem that bothered. Or they've never said!!!!

There's a chap at work who interrupts, but he has a good sense of humour so I say "lips moving....still talking!!" I interrupt sometimes just to chip in something but generally let the other person carry on talking, which I think is a natural part of conversation.

There are several types of interruption from the conversational interjecting of "really?" "Gosh, me too" "I know what you mean" etc and the inevitable conversational overlaps that happen between people who know each other well through to aggressive limelight hogging. This has all been mapped out by the OUP or CUP can't remember which who recorded thousands of people for hundreds of hours in real time.

My dh, like his mother, doesn't see that he insists on his right to airtime for a monologue, at no point can one interject, even if in a hurry/he's plain wrong about something etc. Maddening. Says he "hates being interrupted". Well for me this is 'will not engage in usual informal family conversation with its inevitable interruptions'!

I do it because I'm engaged and want to have a 2-way conversation. I get caught up in the topic and don't even know I'm doing it.

A certain friend and I, we do it together and have the best, most animated, fun, chatty conversations.

Obs surely that's just a way of showing you're listening?

Thinking about this, I dislike (very much so) taking without some chatty interruptions. Those people who look intently as I speak, it puts me under pressure which makes me stutter and talk in a less-confident way.

I prefer the natural flow of a good conversation.

I do sometimes when the person who is talking just goes on and on, ignoring non-verbal cues to give it a break. I'm listening and have something to add. It turns the interaction back into a conversation so I'm not just an audience.

My mum does this and it drives me insane!!! Worse though Is she does it to my children whether they are speaking to me or reading out loud she just talks over them and i just find it really offensive on their behalf, they're 5 ffs! Actually now I think about I'm not sure there's anyone she doesn't do it to, do I suppose it's not personal!
I suspect I do it too sometimes but I actively try not to.
I'm now really annoyed reliving recent interruptions....

There are several types of interruption from the conversational interjecting of "really?" "Gosh, me too" "I know what you mean" etc and the inevitable conversational overlaps that happen between people who know each other well through to aggressive limelight hogging. This has all been mapped out by the OUP or CUP can't remember which who recorded thousands of people for hundreds of hours in real time.

Yes, and I suspect we all get interrupted a lot more than we realise - but the "I agree" sort of interruption isn't noticed, as it doesn't interrupt the flow. People actually talking over you is quite a different thing - and I think some of this thread has had an element of comparing apples and oranges when it comes to different types of interruption.

That's what I always thought crikey, but who knows where the line is for showing that you are listening/ interrupting.

It's tricky and ever changing, depends on other person, context, environment.. So many factors!

My df is a rambly interrupter, he will insist on telling his story, however irrelevant, however uninteresting to his audience, rarely a proper conversation to be had with him which is such a shame. . He shows little real interest in his grandchildren and I think he is an example of a problem which is bigger than just interrupting. Sure he would be diagnosed with aspergers now, he has no sensitivity to others and conversation being a two way thing, unless with my mother in which case he will always give ground... He cannot engage. Think these are the most frustrating kind of interrupters. Oh and worlace alpha types whose arrogance/status enables them to flatten others.

It was totally normal in our house growing up and it was even normal to cut the other person off with "oh yes I know but..." before they'd even made their point. We're just felt we had to have our say quickly while we had attention I suppose. Terrible manners but it's quite hard to train yourself out of it. I catch myself doing it sometimes now but I try to contain myself. I find it interminable to listen to people making their point really slowly though. Especially at work when I'm busy. I think I probably twitch and fidget until they finish which is worse!

A work colleague of mine does this and it drives the rest of us mental (apart from our adoring boss, who worships the ground she walks on, but that's another story). Doesn't matter who is speaking, whether a general pleb like myself or the big boss of our work, she's like 'can I just say' or 'but, but' and even puts her hand up like an over enthusiastic primary school kid if her attempts are ignored. It's sooooo fucking rude! I'm on maternity leave at the moment but my blood is boiling just thinking about her behaviour

This thread has made me paranoid. I think I just won't speak in conversations any more, it's so hard not to accidentally speak in the 'wrong' place.

Storm to be honest if they're that petty and judgemental I wouldn't get on with them as a friend - so I'll continue to be my chatty self and see who wants to keep talking to me!