To just not understand people who interrupt?

[MattDillonsPants]

I've had to have a serious word to DH today because of his bad habit of interrupting. We had a friend to stay for two days and nights and this friend is a VERY funny guy. He's a brilliant story teller and a great listener so I was MADDENED by DH's constant interruptions.

He'd interrupt our friend AND me in mid flow...DH isn't shy and gets his turn to speak but that wasn't enough and he wanted OUR turns too.

I asked him about it...also pointed out that his habit of entering a room already speaking loudly as he comes in is BAD. He does this and ruins current conversations.

Why do people do it? He says he might forget what he has to say but I'm dumbfounded by that...if someone's telling a great story, WHY would you ruin it like that? SO selfish.

I was kind about it because I think he had no idea how bad it was....he took it on board and also apologised to our friend who was interested in the habit...he wanted to know where it comes from because he's the sort ofguy who loves learning more about people. ANyway...if you do this why?

Terror I've got one of those, I never finish what I was going to say when he does it, then he gets upset because he misses stuff. I don't tell him very much any more.

I do this sometimes, as others have said its getting over excited rather than thinking I'm more important than everyone else. I can't help it, I annoy myself doing it sometimes.

It is rude OP and I've found myself doing it too. I had to do it as a kid as I had a loud family and two older brothers so had to fight to get a word in. I really work on stopping myself now but it does take conscious thought to not butt in. I bet he could work on it but don't blame him for doing it naturally, which I don't think you have as you said you were kind about it. He could consciously try and stop though.
The walking into a room talking loudly though would annoy me.. Like he thinks everyone's waiting for him to speak and he's demanding attention to what he's saying!

I do this!

I don't mean to, but I just blurt things out when I think of them sometimes.

Oh and when I do it, it's because I'm excited and worried I won't get chance to say it otherwise, definitely not because I think what I'm saying is really important.

but it's really simple....if someone is speaking and hasn't finished, then you must wait.

Exactly train yourself to notice that when someone else's mouth is open then yours should be shut. Very rude and arrogant habit even if it isn't intentional. With a bit of effort it can be controlled.

I tell my DH that if he listened occasionally instead of talking, he might actually learn something. He agrees but carries on regardless.

mattdillon but it's not always that easy. I have Asperger's and can't always read the subtle signs that someone is about to finish speaking. By the time I realise there's a gap, mentally prepare myself for what I'm about to say, and actually start to speak, chances are someone else has started talking and I interrupt them! (I also have difficulty stopping myself from doing something that I have planned to do, so even if I realise I'm going to interrupt I might not be able to stop in time)

Some people never stop talking, so it's hard to get a word in without interrupting.

I had two friends who would do this. Absolutely infuriating! However, I developed a good memory and would carry on with what I'd been in the middle of as soon as they stopped their monologue. It didn't improve matters, but I did find it underlined to them exactly what they were doing.

One of them really annoyed me the last time I saw him. I get that he was really excited to see us (but especially DP as he's more his friend than mine) and so desperate to catch up with everything (we hadn't seen him for a few years). But the third time of being asked the same question by him, only to have him turn to DP the second I started replying to ask him a question really got my goat and made me feel like a second-class person. Why bother asking me if you're going to ignore the answer? I did, at least, get an apology from him in the end.

I'm not rude and arrogant, I battle with conversational timings (and various social interactions). I already said I've trained myself not to, mostly, and if I do start to speak when someone else is already talking then I stop and apologise.

Chronically well that's understandable but nobody else on this thread has Aspergers unless they forgot to mention it and neither does my DH. So what's their excuse?

SO many people saying "I get excited" or "I'm afraid I;ll forget" well....let me tell you all this....when you do interrupt like that, your words are wasted anyway because nobody takes them in! It wasn't your turn, the others are concentrating on the person who WAS speaking and your rude interjection is just background noise.

Clara that is true but as I said, my friend and I aren't like that.

I also do it when I'm over excited by a conversation. It doesn't mean I'm not listening, in fact it's probably the opposite. I get so involved in the story I'm hearing that I can't help joining in .

I agree it is rude when I do it, and I did say in my first post I really try not to (and I do it a lot less than I used to).

I'm certainly not doing it to be intentionally rude though.

But no Coffee.....you're not listening because you're not waiting for the next part. Or you're not interested in the next part as much as you are interested in sharing your own thoughts. Rude.

Brain fog, it's a symptom of a physical illness.

Guess that makes me rude and arrogant!

But you know, I have other friends who also do this and we have fantastic conversations which meander along before going off on a tangent for a while, and then another and then another, and then eventually find their way back to the original subject. I absolutely love conversations like that. Although they're not really for small talk obviously.

My MIL does this all the time and it's not because she has something to add to the conversation. A while back there was a big family gathering and DH met a relative who he hadn't seen for ages. They were having a great time catching up, discovering mutual interests and having a laugh. MIL then butts in "Doesn't Bob have lovely dark hair for a man of his age". This is the general level of her interruptions. Drives me effing crazy and I've taken to blanking her out or talking over the verbal farts she releases.

That's exactly what I mean coffee. I do exactly the same, I'm quite an animated person and love a good conversation. When people do the same to me, I don't find it rude, to me it shows they are listening and enjoying my conversation/story.

If somebody interrupts with something completely irrelevant then I do find that rude, and I wouldn't dream of doing that.

Yes, my disability seems to make me rude an arrogant too. I may as well not bother talking, as I can't hold on to thoughts, and it's gone by the time others are finished.

Well I am waiting for the next part, I've not said that their part of the conversation is over, just that I've interjected something of my own into the conversation which is relevant to the conversation at that point. Unless it's not a conversation, just a monologue.

coffee I think we would have good conversations

It may be unintentional but so what, doesn't make it any less rude.

I have a friend and a DB that will just go on and on if I don't interrupt, so I have to. They might find it rude but I find it a bit rude when people do monologues instead of conversations.