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Original poster

To just not understand people who interrupt?

203 replies

MattDillonsPants · 28/02/2016 14:15

I've had to have a serious word to DH today because of his bad habit of interrupting. We had a friend to stay for two days and nights and this friend is a VERY funny guy. He's a brilliant story teller and a great listener so I was MADDENED by DH's constant interruptions.

He'd interrupt our friend AND me in mid flow...DH isn't shy and gets his turn to speak but that wasn't enough and he wanted OUR turns too.

I asked him about it...also pointed out that his habit of entering a room already speaking loudly as he comes in is BAD. He does this and ruins current conversations.

Why do people do it? He says he might forget what he has to say but I'm dumbfounded by that...if someone's telling a great story, WHY would you ruin it like that? SO selfish.

I was kind about it because I think he had no idea how bad it was....he took it on board and also apologised to our friend who was interested in the habit...he wanted to know where it comes from because he's the sort ofguy who loves learning more about people. ANyway...if you do this why?

OP posts:
Jenny70 · 01/03/2016 12:32

I do interupt, I don't mean to and make efforts not to, but alas my best intentions slip.

Half the time is to hurry the story along - it drives me crazy when people detour from their story for irrelevant sidetracks - then the bloke called Bob came in, oh no he was Robert, nooooo not Robert, maybe Richard, oh gosh, what is his name, it's on the tip of my tongue. And I am like "then the bloke came in - let's say he was called Robert, I don't know him". Then to find out Richard/Robert was nothing at all to the story, he simply came in and sat down or something, grrr. I am very intolerant of people who can't filter the story into something reasonable concise. Have been known (with my mother) to then repeat the 10min version in one sentence - "So you bumped into Judy at the shops and she is having a hip replacement next week".

But I am also guilty of adding my own snippet to the conversation as it goes along, but try very hard to curb this.

samG76 · 01/03/2016 12:33

Tinkly - I think it's part of being a minority. Jews are the same..... There 's no concept that somehow there is a benefit to expressing yourself....

TinklyLittleLaugh · 01/03/2016 12:39

Interesting Sam, I have never been in a conversation with a large group of Jewish people, to make comparisons.

ExtraBlessings · 01/03/2016 12:54

My parents are terrible for this and I was too.

I learnt my lesson when a very handsome and interesting Swedish man who i fancied a lot refused to finish his story that I interrupted.

It's hard though because my instinct to interrupt is so strong. I still have a long way to go.

My mum is dire. It's like here brain has a key word filter and she will dredge up second-hand boring facts, jokes she doesn't even find funny etc and cut people up with dross.

My family is prone to deafness and I speculate that some of my uncles do monologuing at social events as a result.

I do agree that monologuing can be just as bad as interunpting.

TooMuchOfEverything · 01/03/2016 12:57

I am terrible for this. It's from the Irish side of my family. We all do it to each other so it is fine. A multi stranded conversation instead of a linear sort.

However I know I shouldn't do it with others but it's hard!

ThisCakeFilledIsle · 01/03/2016 13:13

Yes TooMuch, I much prefer the multi strand conversation too.

TawnyGrisette · 01/03/2016 13:21

OP I'm wondering whether your DP was interrrupting more than usual because he didn't like quite how enraptured you were by his friend ('s story). Respect and love for your DP isn't exactly shining through your posts, either.

ThatsNotMyRabbit · 01/03/2016 13:23

"instinct to interrupt"
translation "conviction that I am more interesting than the speaker" 🙄

Twitterqueen · 01/03/2016 13:31

My exH did this all the time - both at work and at home. He was pulled up on it at work but didn't bother much with me or the DCs.

I find it enormously rude and I hate it. He did it because he always felt that whatever the other person was saying had little value, and that he was far more worthy.. He was also incredibly impatient and was forever telling the DCs to "get on with it".

In 'normal' conversation with multiple people, eg parties, it's commonplace though, and I don't see an issue with this - you get excited or carried away or argue etc. But that's very different from interrupting a one-to-one conversation because you simply can't be bothered to listen to what's being said..

manicinsomniac · 01/03/2016 13:42

I'm bad at this too.

It's so, so rude and I cringe inside when I do it but it still happens. I find it difficult to work out when the person speaking has finished and sometimes come in while they are still making their point. I find it especially difficult when there is a group conversation going. Other people seem to naturally know who's going to speak and when it's their turn etc but I always seem to be getting it wrong. So embarrassing.

Original poster
MattDillonsPants · 01/03/2016 13:43

Tawny our friend is gay. And DH isn't insecure. And I don't think you need to make personal comments about my feelings for my DH thank you. I'll ignore them anyway.

OP posts:
Original poster
MattDillonsPants · 01/03/2016 13:47

Annie DH does NOT find our friend a bore at all! In fact he admires him and enjoys his company. Our friend did not bring the conversation back round to himself when I talked about DH interrupting....there was only the friend and myself present by that point as DH had gone to the shop.

Our friend is sensitive and very funny and interesting. He's actually a stand up comedian and a successful one too. He never monopolises conversations...far from it.

OP posts:
Original poster
MattDillonsPants · 01/03/2016 13:47

Annie DH does NOT find our friend a bore at all! In fact he admires him and enjoys his company. Our friend did not bring the conversation back round to himself when I talked about DH interrupting....there was only the friend and myself present by that point as DH had gone to the shop.

Our friend is sensitive and very funny and interesting. He's actually a stand up comedian and a successful one too. He never monopolises conversations...far from it.

OP posts:
HeyYouGetOffMyCloud · 01/03/2016 13:50

I have to try very hard not to do this as i was brought up in a big loud extended family all of whom talk, laugh and express themselves fully.

However sorry OP but you do sound a bit sanctimonious and formal.

I absolutely agree that interrupting is rude and work hard not to. I've been told numerous times that I'm a good listener so I think I'm OK. However sometimes that informal, multistranded conversation can be fun. Maybe more so than 'story telling'

ThatsNotMyRabbit · 01/03/2016 13:52

Ooh is he Alan Carr?

Original poster
MattDillonsPants · 01/03/2016 13:53

Cloud so was I but I'm 43 and have learned...a LONG time ago that if you interrupt people, they get pissed off. In fact I learned this in my first year at university!

OP posts:
FeliciaJollygoodfellow · 01/03/2016 13:54

My DH does this as well. Except his version of interrupting is to interject with what he thinks is the end of my sentence.

He is always wrong. Often hilariously so. Sometimes maddeningly so.

OP your DH sounds annoying and unable or unwilling to respond to social clues. No point in other people saying why they do it or not, everyone is different - this particular person annoys you, I think you should be able to tell your own husband he's annoying!

HeyYouGetOffMyCloud · 01/03/2016 13:56

Is it Simon Amstell?

samG76 · 01/03/2016 14:13

Heyyou - OP said he was funny. Have you ever heard Simon Amstell's stand up routine?

nanetterose · 01/03/2016 14:31

You still sound really cross and unforgiving op

Didn't this happen a few days ago?

frigginell · 01/03/2016 14:32

I would try to avoid speaking to someone who tended to have such a virulent response to different interpretations of conversational etiquette as the op. Such tension - it would suck the life out of me.

I'll settle my (very generous) bottom over in MrsDevere's camp - far more easy going!

ThatsNotMyRabbit · 01/03/2016 15:02

Easy going as long as everyone is equally rude and gobby. If everyone is happy to interrupt/talk over everyone else then I guess it all evens out in the end.

However for quieter people/those with manners - what about them? Learn to butt in along with the ruder ones or just keep schtum?! 😏

frigginell · 01/03/2016 15:15

"Rude and gobby"? - I'm not biting Grin

MartinaJ · 02/03/2016 07:51

I have to work hard on my not interrupting people. It's normally because while someone speaks to me I process what they say and feel like I'm ahead of what they are trying to say and want to continue. It's a difficult thing if you are like this, it's like two minds in my brain, I don't do it on purpose or because I don't value what the other side is saying. I know about it and sometimes I physically bite my tongue so I don't say a word.

MamaBear98 · 02/03/2016 07:55

I am VERY guilty of this BlushThe reasons I do it I guess are because I find if people are taking too long to tell a story or say something, I try to speed it up or else they are saying something wrong so I try to correct them which always results in me getting given out to Confused

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