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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

just asked someone too leave my house. as all they have done is insult my baby!

340 replies

Murphyslaw21 · 28/02/2016 11:18

I'm fuming. An old work colleague has moved near to me, we always got on OK although she always had a brush up her arse. Anyway we bumped into each other the other day and I suggested she comes round for a coffee. So our two babies can meet. They are both 9 months.

So she turned up, and was very patronising about my house. It's a bit of building site but lounge is lovly. But I got the oohh you were brave doing that colour scheme. It's duck egg blue. Anyway let it go.

So I'm feeding baby girl and she says oh can't she feed herself. So I said she has finger food but mostly just gets licked and thrown. So I feed her whilst she is playing with finger food. Oh MINE feeds herself. Next it's playing on floor. Mine sits up but falls over if left, colleague says oh MINE has been sitting by herself for at least two months. She is very advanced for her age. Then she has made a comment that it's strange to be in baby gro rather than clothes. So I said but she can roll around and play without it all getting skirted up. Oh MINE just screames if she is a baby gro. She likes clothes. Final straw was I'm making a drink and she says oh arnt her eyes close together. So I said no quiet abruptly. To be told maybe it's just because she has a large head!

I'm livid. So I fly in and said exact words " oh fuvk off. You've done nothing but insult my baby, did u come round just to make you feel that your baby is superior". She then said you never could take criticism,

So I lost it and said ( I feel a bit bad about this because her baby is really cute) take your ugly fucking kid and get out, go bitch to your husband ... Oh no you can't cause he is shacked up with his girlfriend. And no I see why.

Ok I feel a bit mean about ugly baby comment but I was livid. I'm fuming so fuming. There was so many digs and comments. Why why why I would never compare my baby to someone else's and I certainly never been so rude.

OP posts:

OnlyLovers · 29/02/2016 12:01

the subtle seeds of doubt are much more unpleasant.

How Machiavellian. Respeck.

ilovesooty · 29/02/2016 15:31

I'm struggling to believe that you got on ok at work and to understand why you invited her at all. Your dislike for her drips through every post you're making. If you don't like her at least own it honestly.

And I'm still bemused at the level of hostility directed through the thread at a woman whose husband has left her for someone else and the support given for your intentional spite.

Twinklestein · 29/02/2016 15:49

Well quite. The thread seems to have pulled together all the gobshites.

Sparklingbrook · 29/02/2016 15:53

There was virtual pompom waving.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 29/02/2016 15:54

Twinklestein love that word!

FeelingFine89 · 29/02/2016 16:05

All the bullshit is her own inferiority coming out.

Yes but she's an adult who is perfectly capable of understanding human emotions. She's probably feeling like crap but that doesn't give her the excuse to purposely drag other people down.
Her remarks were snidey and uncalled for, and if she is looking for support and friendships then she is going about it in the wrong way.

The OP's reaction wasn't good. What she said about the baby was also uncalled for. But it was in the heat of the moment and she was provoked. She regrets it now and she didn't mean it. The OP invited her "friend" to her house with good intentions to have a catch up and maybe create a closer friendship due to them having babies around the same age.

If this woman is going through a bad time, which she probably is, then she needs to rethink how she speaks to people.

FeelingFine89 · 29/02/2016 16:08

if she wants support from people.

apricotdanish · 29/02/2016 16:15

I'm no Gobshite, I just don't think it's acceptable to go to someone's house and proceed to passively aggressively insult them and their child for an hour, it's extremely rude. However if I WAS like that not only would I be the Gobshite but I'd also be someone deserving of the reaction that the OP'S guest received. I have no idea why people are defending this guests indefensible behaviour and there using catty little insults to put the OP down from some supposed moral high ground.

apricotdanish · 29/02/2016 16:16

then, not there.

ItchyArmpits · 29/02/2016 16:46

she's an adult who is perfectly capable of understanding human emotions

she needs to rethink how she speaks to people.

All due respect, FeelingFine (and I do agree with the rest of your post), I see a bit of a contradiction here. To judge from the behaviour the OP has described (including when they worked together) this woman is not perfectly capable of understanding other people's emotions - getting kicked out of the OP's home was probably not what she intended to happen - she badly misjudged the situation.

Maybe it's sleep deprivation, hormones and stress getting to her, maybe she's a little bit further along the autistic spectrum than many people, maybe she's just selfish, but she really doesn't sound like a skilled people-reader/very self-aware.

Whoever made the handbag/machete comment was spot on. The woman sounds horrible but "Get out of my house" would have done the job.

BMW6 · 29/02/2016 17:23

Good for you Op - she really deserved it. As for the ugly baby retort, the child is too young to understand so no harm done there.

If she (the biatch) can't take it she shouldn't dish it out. Perhaps she will learn from this and be a better person (as if....)

You are NOT a fishwife nor a candidate for the JK show. You have nothing to feel guilty about nor apologise for.

ilovesooty · 29/02/2016 18:50

The OP has said she doesn't regret deliberately referring to the woman's relationship breakdown and admits she was spiteful with the deliberate intention of causing hurt. I'm still astonished that so many posters are supporting that.
I still don't think she likes her much and I don't see how they got on ok at work.

KeyboardMum · 29/02/2016 18:54

Calling your fellow Mumsnetters Gobshites for not sharing your opinion? Well that's rude. You're not exactly setting a great example of yourself Twinklestein.

FeelingFine89 · 29/02/2016 18:58

sooty
I think they are both at fault with what they said to each other, but the fall out wouldn't have happened if the op's friend hadn't said snidey remarks in the first place. She was still the root cause of it no matter what the OP said to her. The OP just added fuel to the fire by saying hurtful things, when she should have just told her to leave instead.

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 29/02/2016 22:11

Two wrongs don't make a right

FeelingFine89 · 01/03/2016 00:51

Oh I know that. And I've already said they were both at fault.

BunnyTyler · 01/03/2016 01:22

Deliberately missing the point.......

Both of my babies were walking by 9 months, unaided (walking holding onto furniture at 7 months).

#smug

And btw OP, regardless of how awful you thought she was to you, you were atrocious back.

derxa · 01/03/2016 07:52

Good for you OP. I wish I had had the guts to do the same all those years ago.

BerylStreep · 01/03/2016 08:55

Bunny I'll see your walking at nine months and raise it. Both of my babies were doing calculus by nine months. One is currently reading Homer in the original Greek.

#noendtomysmugness

derxa · 01/03/2016 09:10

Bunny My 9 month old completed his Masters in Sept. He can't decide which Russell Group university to go to next. Added to that he has his career as a decathlete to consider. I've also got duck egg blue walls

stairway · 01/03/2016 09:41

I think her comments to you were irritating whereas your comments to her were cruel.

BunnyTyler · 01/03/2016 09:59

Actual cackled at Derxa & Beryl

Unfortunately my bragging rights ended with their early walking as they are distinctly average across the board in all respects.

Loving the hashtag!!

#noendtomysmugness

bibliomania · 01/03/2016 10:40

The mutual baby-slagging is hilarious. Ah, the madness of early motherhood

The bit about no wonder her H left - that took it to a new level of nastiness. That was lousy behaviour.

FreshHorizons · 01/03/2016 17:38

Just imagine the babies in about 15yrs time rolling their eyes at the oddness of parents!

TrippleBlessed · 02/03/2016 15:01

.....ooops! Ok so not the best outcome, but sometimes when certain people piss us off we can say the meanest things. And in this particular incident you let your rage get the better of you. Lesson learnt. Move on...

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