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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

just asked someone too leave my house. as all they have done is insult my baby!

340 replies

Murphyslaw21 · 28/02/2016 11:18

I'm fuming. An old work colleague has moved near to me, we always got on OK although she always had a brush up her arse. Anyway we bumped into each other the other day and I suggested she comes round for a coffee. So our two babies can meet. They are both 9 months.

So she turned up, and was very patronising about my house. It's a bit of building site but lounge is lovly. But I got the oohh you were brave doing that colour scheme. It's duck egg blue. Anyway let it go.

So I'm feeding baby girl and she says oh can't she feed herself. So I said she has finger food but mostly just gets licked and thrown. So I feed her whilst she is playing with finger food. Oh MINE feeds herself. Next it's playing on floor. Mine sits up but falls over if left, colleague says oh MINE has been sitting by herself for at least two months. She is very advanced for her age. Then she has made a comment that it's strange to be in baby gro rather than clothes. So I said but she can roll around and play without it all getting skirted up. Oh MINE just screames if she is a baby gro. She likes clothes. Final straw was I'm making a drink and she says oh arnt her eyes close together. So I said no quiet abruptly. To be told maybe it's just because she has a large head!

I'm livid. So I fly in and said exact words " oh fuvk off. You've done nothing but insult my baby, did u come round just to make you feel that your baby is superior". She then said you never could take criticism,

So I lost it and said ( I feel a bit bad about this because her baby is really cute) take your ugly fucking kid and get out, go bitch to your husband ... Oh no you can't cause he is shacked up with his girlfriend. And no I see why.

Ok I feel a bit mean about ugly baby comment but I was livid. I'm fuming so fuming. There was so many digs and comments. Why why why I would never compare my baby to someone else's and I certainly never been so rude.

OP posts:
Original poster
Murphyslaw21 · 28/02/2016 16:39

Iliveina light wrong end of stick she said hers had been sitting up for last two months e.g since 7 months.

OP posts:
Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 28/02/2016 16:43

Oh I thought it said from 2 months old.

vintagefiend · 28/02/2016 16:50

YANBU: understandably, the red mist descended
she, on the other hand, was in control of what she was saying...it's not tit for tat when someone provokes you

vintagefiend · 28/02/2016 16:54

...well maybe it is tit for tat- but you definitely have nothing to be sorry about- the blame lies squarely with her.

AyeAmarok · 28/02/2016 17:00

Meh, maybe she'll think twice in future.

She was being a dick, OK, it maybe didn't warrant what you said but tough, you poke the bear and you'll get a reaction.

Hopefully she'll reflect and be less of a dick in future to other people who maybe wouldn't be able to stand up for themselves.

merseyside · 28/02/2016 17:03

Actually I read the OP thinking that any one of those comments could have been completely misinterpreted by the op.

It takes two to have a bitch fight

merseyside · 28/02/2016 17:05

Hmm see the Huns are out in force,,,, you were spectacularly rude OP. Actually you were more than rude, you were inelegant and made yourself look rough as you know what.

So no winners here.

IamlovedbyG · 28/02/2016 17:13

This reply has been deleted

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Vikkijayne2507 · 28/02/2016 17:14

She was being a bitch a 9 month old won't have understand and you were wound up. Don't worry about it. You know it was wrong but no use in worrying about it. I wouldn't consider her a friend as selfish and self centred as her.

Sparklingbrook · 28/02/2016 17:17

Six of one and half a dozen of the other as my Mum used to say.....

MudCity · 28/02/2016 17:18

YWNBU. If more rude people got a reaction like that, there would be fewer rude people in the world. Trouble is they get away with it time and time again so never change.

With a bit of luck she may go away and reflect.

No need to apologise....you weren't great friends anyway...unless she is going to be part of your life in the future, cut your losses and move on.

Brew Cake Flowers

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 28/02/2016 17:20

Erm she was no ruder than little miss brush up her arse, Mersey.
Was she just expected to sit their nod and smile while her baby was insultedConfused

Fadingmemory · 28/02/2016 17:20

Old gimmer here... I have known lots of mothers who cannot resist boasting about their babies and it can get utterly tedious. Perhaps she was compensating for how dreadful she must feel about her husband's departure. You did go too far and to describe someone else's baby as ugly... She said herself that she was criticising you by commenting on your baby's different progress. She was entirely wrong. If you come up against similar just let it bounce off. If it continues to an upsetting/irritating degree just say, 'My love for my baby does not depend on milestones. I very much doubt yours does either...' Then change the subject.

Original poster
Murphyslaw21 · 28/02/2016 17:26

She had loads of discussions in work about if she had a baby then he would have to stay with her. And that his mum would never forgive him if he left his child. So yes she did say it.

To the people that think I over reacted then you probably find insulting others as a God given right. I am so laid back and nothing phases me . However attack after attack and snyd comments were unnecessary. I think she came with an agenda, God knows what. But she started as soon as she walked in and I think because I kept not commenting she provoked me even more. I was as surprised as she was to my reaction.

But again I'm not sorry for having a go back. I will not have anyone talk to me like that. Especially about my baby.

However her baby was cute and I should never of said what I said. As for the rest.

Yes I should of she wants to insult me then I'll insult her back.

OP posts:
Twinklestein · 28/02/2016 17:26

Over-reaction of the century. Women who compete about babies are 10 a penny, if this is the way you behave you will have zero mates.

And no she won't think over what she said she'll just think you're nuts, quite rightly.

Sparklingbrook · 28/02/2016 17:27

Probably time to let it go now OP. What's done is done.

Original poster
Murphyslaw21 · 28/02/2016 17:28

Meters I'll pop round and insult you for over an hour and see if bite then when I don't get the satisfactory response I'll start ripping apart your children.

I wonder Hmmwill you bite

OP posts:
BabyDubsEverywhere · 28/02/2016 17:28

She had it coming, you did totally lose the moral high ground though... But, I think sometimes its worth throwing the high ground away and getting your own back tbh! Don't apologise - she's not your friend and you don't want to continue a relationship with her, so fuck it!

Sparklingbrook · 28/02/2016 17:30

If she wanted to wind you up she's done a great job as you are still ranting about it this evening.....

FreshHorizons · 28/02/2016 17:30

Gosh!
I would have gone for smile, nod, ignore and avoid in the future.

Original poster
Murphyslaw21 · 28/02/2016 17:31

Twinkle sorry disagree. I don't boast about my baby and funnily enough no one I know does either.

So I don't think I'll be losing any mates. She may.

OP posts:
Gottagetmoving · 28/02/2016 17:34

I think if you are old enough to have a baby you should be mature enough not to get worked up by stupid comments from someone like your 'friend'
Surely you know there are people like that in the world?
The sensible thing to do would be to have ignored it and then just not bother with her again.
The woman is insecure but etting angry makes it look like you are insecure yourself. You were both nasty.

Original poster
Murphyslaw21 · 28/02/2016 17:34

Sparkle I'm fine about it now. I'm just taking the time to people that have commented.

Wow earlier I was off line for a while and got accused of running off and disappearing.

Now I'm replying I'm getting told to get over it. Dammed if you do and dammed if you don't.

I'm calm and fine with it now I am just literally responding to the replies.

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 28/02/2016 17:36

You will need to put it behind you at some point.

humblebumblejo · 28/02/2016 17:42

GOOD FOR YOU!!!!

That sort of person will go round making lots of people sad/down with their comparing and criticisms.... they might think twice after what you said. And you are probably right if she is so nasty thats why her oh left......

Don't feel bad. Have a lovely snuggle with your baby and move on Wine