"My partner is my best friend" Healthy or Unhealthy...

[Unacceptable]

...you decide
A very minor (but interesting and reoccurring) disagreement between DH and I.
Who do you agree with?

Wow! MarkRuffalo you've done it!!
Lightbulb moment!

DH has always had a good circle of friends, a 'best friend group' if you like. In the past few years he has become increasingly wrapped up in me. He sees his friends very rarely.
Your post has just made me realise that 'the group' was his best friend and, obviously, over time the group has split a little as the men have paired up, married, had children and in one case emigrated.
I've become his BFF by default, not because he has no friends but because he has got THE best friend he always had as it was a best friend group, not an individual iyswim

That's a great point Bip I often wonder about the social media influence on perceptions of relationships. It's a really interesting point isn't it?
Cheers bipbippadotta I won't drink mine now though, it's far too early!

My best friend is not my partner. My partner is my partner. The relationships are completely different and incomparable IMO, not just because of children but because when you live with someone and build a life together as a couple you have completely different thresholds of acceptability. There are behaviours in my friends that I tolerate fondly which would result in my DP being out on his ear!

Friends/family/partners - they are all different kinds of relationships, performing different functions when it comes to our lives and wellbeing. Which is as it should be I think. Should I lose one of those elements I would be incredibly sad and I would suffer, but I would not be broken.

My DH is definitely my best friend too. Not that we actually say that to each other or anyone else for that matter. It's just he's my favourite person to be with, the easiest person to be with. I trust him more than anyone. he makes me laugh. We want the same things in life and for our DC.
My friends are not on that level. They are fun to gossip with, go out with but they have their own lives and loyalties. With DH our number one priority is each other and our DC. Our loyalties are to each other and our DC first and foremost. Friends could never come between us.

Thebest - No of course not, it was just a sarcastic simplistic description of why someone chooses a bf. Just like why one chooses a husband there are many connections and a certain type of chemistry which makes someone your BF.

DH and I also have deep love and friendship (as i'm sure does everyone who is happily married), but as we had that long before we married and didn't see a reason marriage would change it, it wasn't really the main reason we married. We married for mostly practical reasons (to protect me as i was going to be a sahm and he would probably spend the rest of his life getting promotions while i supported him in his career and because he travelled a lot with work and it was easier to get married visas for me to go with him), which has had no impact on our love and understanding of each other. The reasons for our marriage don't mean we don't have the same feelings as those who married for 'deep love'. Lots of people never get married and still have those feelings.

Captain - I agree with most of your definition, ie have fun with, fancy etc but dh and i do not want to spend most of our time together at all. It is best in small doses for us. DH is wonderful, but very intense and needs constant activity/stimulation, so we only really enjoy each others company when we are doing something specific. Just being together too much sends us round the bend Something which didn't happen with me and my best friend or exH. I found their company much easier, but the relationships were ultimately less rewarding.

Perhaps it was because DH was in the military when we met and we got used to spells apart or maybe because he had been single for 10 years so he got used to his own company. I don't know. It isn't a feeling i have had in previous relationships tho.

Yay! Glad I've hit the nail on the head (or rather Roussette did before me). However, now I feel bad as DP did have a best friend before we got together, someone he'd known since school. And now I HAVE ousted him from the top spot as I'm so awesome and loveable

Oops, apologies roussette but thanks and thanks to all posters.
Thread has been very useful and enlightening.

Barely a YABU insight but then I only came here for the traffic really and purposely didn't pose it as AIBU