"My partner is my best friend" Healthy or Unhealthy...

[Unacceptable]

...you decide
A very minor (but interesting and reoccurring) disagreement between DH and I.
Who do you agree with?

Vintage apologies, I'm honestly not trying to be goady, but I don't understand what you mean 'realist'?

I get that you have a different sort of relationship (which is of course fine) but are you trying to say that I (and the others on this thread) are being untruthful or perhaps exaggerating our relationships with our DHs?

Oh X post. I see what you mean now. You think I should hold back from my DH and not allow our relationship that level of closeness in case we get divorced?

Isn't that approach in danger of becoming a self fulfilling prophecy?

As tatty says it does sound cheesy, but this is MN and we are anonymous so can hopefully talk openly about this. I am not embarrassed to say I love my DH deeply, would pick him again, over and over. Cheesy? Maybe but that's my honest feeling. I hate it when I hear wives groaning about their DH and belittling them to their 'best friends", It just makes me wonder why they are with them.I am being realistic, I am a realist, I don't imagine our relationship!
I'll settle for you vintage thinking I'm creepy to have found the one for me and not be embarrassed to say it albeit on mumsnet

No need to apologise at all quiet, maybe I'm a cynic but I have seen so many relationships where the woman is the giver and the man the taker, who commands this be the case that it makes me shiver when women say this.

Im very independent and I don't class my partner as my best friend or a soul mate. I have other things that also take just as much of a precedence in my life. He is important to me but no way is he my be all and end all.

My DP is absolutely and without a shadow of doubt my best friend in the whole wide world ever. He's amazing and I am very, very lucky to have him

Spring you are right, people are allowed to post their views. But people must also deal with others' responses to those views.

FWIW I found the patronising as well. And the apology was a bit defensive as she did (if you actually read her post) persist in claiming it was her 'right' to declare her sadness at someone else's happy marriage. Which is a bit of a twatty thing to keep saying, particularly when you know it's caused upset. That's just my view. Which I'm allowed to post.

Weird. My husband and I are very much in love, married 10 years etc. but he isn't my best friend. We get on well and have such a laugh together, I can't complain, but best friend - no. He gets bored when I ramble on!

Isn't he just as lucky to have you too Bobo?

Whoops, my post didn't post for ages. x-posts with everyone. Oh well.

If he's your husband then he pretty much should be the centre of your life along with any children. That does not mean you don't have other things in your life, other friends, interests, hobbies. I don't think my marriage will end until one of us dies but if it did of course I would be devastated, but not because I don't have anything else in my life, but because I would have lost my husband!!

Yes he is Vintage. Fortunately my other friends regularly remind him of that

Thats nice bobo.

I suppose for me, I just imagine that when someone says their DH is their best friend, I just wonder what they did with their life before their DH came along! (Not trying to offend anyone here!) I had a female best friend before I met my DH and I slotted into his life and he slotted into mine. But still my best friend was my best friend. I always think that when you have a husband as a best friend it sort of means you drop your other friends a bit because you have found them. (clumsy way of trying to say what I want to).

Mrs DV clearly has to have the last word even although she wrongly accused a PP of using words she didn't and personalising an innocent post

Mrs DV, its the least I can do for you. You obviously don't see how unreasonable you are.

'Best friend' does have a slightly childish quality about it, my children have BFFs and get necklaces with two parts and have one each. I still have a best friend, though, we did meet in childhood and she's known me pretty much my whole life.

I am more likely to describe my husband as my 'soulmate' than my 'best friend' although I know lots of people hate that term, as they think it implies there's only one. I don't think there necessarily has to be one person who touches you deeply in your soul, but my husband is definitely one, so that's why 'soulmate' appeals to me, and I know he thinks of me as a 'soulmate' but very much not as a 'best friend'.

It's all just words to try and get at that funny bond lots of us have.

I was pretty lonely before I met DP. I had quite a lot of friends I saw very regularly and led my life with but they didn't do what my DP does. Totally different.

All I know is - if I said to my DH now "You're my best friend, you know", he would look at me in abject terror and say "please don't make me be that, I can't do it, don't make me, please please please"

Just for the record, I have never spoken 'best friend' out loud when referring to my DH. I was answering the OP in that I suppose he is my best friend. We need to not get so hung up on words!

thebest I'm glad to hear it. I was just wondering if I was missing out on something fundamental in lie

*life

My DP would be fantastically jealous if I said someone else was my best friend. As I would be if he said someone else was his!

He has masses of friends and is very sociable and likes being with other people but I am definitely his best friend.

Bobo our DH's couldn't be more different! Mine would run for the hills! Far too much responsibility for him

here too.

DP and I are great friends, he probably is my best friend in terms of being top choice to spend time with though I wouldn't necessarily think to refer to him as such. I have a "best friend" who is a close female friend who i would think of as my best friend, but in reality it's a mixture of people including her, DP, my sister, my Sil...