"My partner is my best friend" Healthy or Unhealthy...

[Unacceptable]

...you decide
A very minor (but interesting and reoccurring) disagreement between DH and I.
Who do you agree with?

Absolutely not. (in answer to the OP). I know it is just words but I find it odd calling a DP a best friend as I think of BFs as something non sexual and female.

Also we have little in common as far as hobbies although agree on the things that really matter. We bicker, we argue and I did ask him in a drunken moment recently why on earth he married me when I was being particularly annoying.

I think we are a bit ying and yang, we compliment each other but are so very different and I can't stand to be someone's everything, we are both very independent, awkward and a bit selfish, and sometimes we are like two single people who happen to have DCs and live together But best friends? No, no, no. I have one of those and I've known her way before I ever met my DH decades ago. My DH would feel stifled if he thought he had to be my BF!

Healthy. Mine is and it's great. No one more kind, honest , reliable and funny in my life.

roussette I don't think best friends have to like the same things. I have friends who are very different but we still have fun together.

Ironic considering that I wasn't addressing you in the first place and you are coming across as incredibly hostile.

There's nothing ironic about it. If you post on a public forum then anyone can reply to your posts. Your posts read as rude and goading to a poster earlier in the thread. You clearly have taken it personally that the poster posted a sad face and said the thought of having a relationship you have made her sad. Do you react in this fashion to everyone who doesn't agree with what you post?

Healthy as long as you both have other friends too and can do things independently of each other too.

For me it would be unhealthy. I love my time with my girlfriends. We see so many threads on relationships where the woman states that her partner was her best friend/he cut her off from all and he cheated on her therefore she lost everything.

Im a true believer in not keeping all your eggs in one basket.

I'd think it was slightly odd if they weren't one of your best friends, if you've married and committed to a life with them tbh!

DH is one of my best friends. That said, he isn't always my first port of call with a problem. I'm lucky in that I have a few people that I can lean on, and I often call my mum or one of my close friends.

There's nothing I keep from him though, and I crave time with him.

There seems to be an assumption that best friends with your DH means to the exclusion of others, in my case it doesn't. he has friends, I have friends, we have some mutual. We spend time apart, have weekends away without each other. But, he is my best friend. he is the one I trust the most, can rely on the most, the most loyal person I know. We enjoy lots of thongs in common, especially humour and outlook but we both have different, separate interests too. It's perfect....for us.

No not thongs lol!

Do you feel a bit more relaxed now?

I hope you do Mrs DV as you were the one stating earlier that a PP had said x,y and z when they hadn't and you were irate in your posts. I bid you a nice evening . Just remember, not all of us who have lost children, dealt with serious illness etc take offence to others when they have different views to the relationships people have with their DH. After all, everyone is different and that should be respected.

True thebest. Thinking about it, best friends don't even need to be alike in any way at all really. Opposites attract etc. At least in my DH and my case. I also wonder in my case if it's because I had about 10 years I'd known my female best friend before DH came along. Sorry... Im rambling.

Also would a DH ever have a 'best friend'? I don't think so. Not most of the time anway. Men don't think like women on this sort of thing.

In our case I see my OH as my partner rather than my friend. In the same way that I adore my children but have no wish to be their friends IYSWIM?

So agree with this.

Im a bit with MrsD here.

For me a 'best friend' is female.
Im a mother to my children, not a best friend.

To me, being best friends with my husband sounds a bit creepy. He's not my best friend he's my partner.

I suppose I wouldn't refer to my DH as my BF, the whole term is very childish really. But in my head he is my husband and also happens to be my best friend due to the qualities I mentioned upthread.

Oh offs , creepy??? How very dare you vintage!!

DH is my best friend, really, as well as my lover, my husband, and the father of my children.

But I do have plenty of friends, both friends in common and friends of my own, who he tolerates (not in a mean way, just a "oh she's here again/still here/drank all the wine type raised eyebrow when he crashes in at 10pm after a business trip and probably wants his slippers and some of the wine we drank all of)

I once had a dream that I was back at high school and DH was there and we were together, and everything was the same with school, and everything was the same with DH, yet we were there together at school.

It was the nicest, SAFEST place in this dream with him there. In reality it was a bit daunting and scary at times, and sometimes lonely and sometimes a bit too much. Like life, and I guess that's what he makes life for me now he's in it.

Gawd, that sounds really cheesy

Its a bit unrealistic then thats me being nice and understanding when people say such things.

I liken it to "he's my soul mate".

Tatty I was actually at school with my DH (childhood sweethearts) and it was lovely.

Vintage genuinely interested why 'creepy'?

Im more of a realist.

It creeps me out when people gush like this.

If the relationship ends then your rather fucked then aren't you.