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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this out of order to my friend? Difficult dilemma. WWYD?

455 replies

Headfulahorlix · 27/02/2016 20:12

Made a good friend a few years ago. She lives on my street. DCs are friends and we do play dates and baby sit for each other and some times go out for weekends. She moved to this street after her unhappy relationship came to an end and she feels her ex is controlling which I have witnessed and so believe.

I put my house on the market. He has offered me the full asking price.

I am desperate to move.

Would you sell to him in my position?

OP posts:
YellowTulips · 27/02/2016 21:21

Really??? FFS

Your house has ONLY been on the market a few days in respect of a HUGE (not) 5 mile commute and yet you'd sell your friend out to a man you know is controlling and manipulative?

Get a grip and take a long hard look in the mirror Angry

DoreenLethal · 27/02/2016 21:21

A few days?

No chance would I do that to another woman if I knew the situation.

TamaraLamara · 27/02/2016 21:21

He's absolutely not buying your house because he likes the house. He's buying it so that he can fuck with her head.

Don't do it.

Original poster
Headfulahorlix · 27/02/2016 21:21

Thanks guys, its just hard to be the better person in real life

OP posts:
YellowTulips · 27/02/2016 21:21

This has to be a wind up.....

OhShutUpThomas · 27/02/2016 21:22

5
Fucking
Miles?

Tenementfunster · 27/02/2016 21:22

It's really not that hard. It's inconceivable that you'd even consider it.

QuiteLikely5 · 27/02/2016 21:22

So he only lives two streets away?

Don't be surprised if he is doing this purely to wind you all up and has no intention of buying from you.

If you insist on selling and she is renting please do consider charging him extra and giving it to her for a bond and a months rent upfront for somewhere else.

Oh and I doubt she will ever speak to you again even if he doesn't buy the house, just the fact you were prepared to sell it to him will probably be enough to end your friendship

Slowlygettingthehangofthings · 27/02/2016 21:22

Oh God I'm so worried for your friend OP!!! 5 miles away? My job was 4 miles away and I used to walk that! Surely the bus services arent that bad where you live? You are really in a position to wait a little longer for a genuine buyer.
As other posters have suggested, the more likely situation here is that he has no intention of buying your house at all, but rather is simply looking to hurt your friend by proving your dysloyalty to her.
Your poor friend and her poor DCs - for their sake please, don't give him the satisfaction!

janethegirl2 · 27/02/2016 21:23

No way would I sell to him. A 5 mile drive is insignificant and you'd be putting your friend at a real risk as if he buys your house, it would be difficult to put a restraining order in place which would ban him from his house.

Original poster
Headfulahorlix · 27/02/2016 21:24

Its not a wind up. It seems callous but it is a better house. My DC will be happier there and the truth is he can always buy another house on the street of which there are a few

OP posts:
Original poster
Headfulahorlix · 27/02/2016 21:24

She had told me hes never been physically violent

OP posts:
AyeAmarok · 27/02/2016 21:24

Did he even come round to view the house?

If he did, why did you let him over the door?

OhShutUpThomas · 27/02/2016 21:25

Thanks guys, its just hard to be the better person in real life

This isn't about being 'the better person.' It's about not being an utter cunt and putting your 'friend' and her children in danger from an abusive man.

While you're here, I recommend you spend the evening reading threads in Relationships by women who have successfully escaped abusive and controlling men.

Tenementfunster · 27/02/2016 21:25

Blimey where's your conscience?

GabiSolis · 27/02/2016 21:25

Is this a reverse?

5 miles is no distance whatsoever and the house has been on the market for only a few days. I can't see how anyone would think they were reasonable to tell to this person.

dumbbelle · 27/02/2016 21:25

Fuck no.

nina99ballons · 27/02/2016 21:25

But why would you purposefully ruin someone's life? You know the history and the ramifications.

GabiSolis · 27/02/2016 21:25

tell sell

fruitbat2008 · 27/02/2016 21:26

Hell no sounds like something your friend doesen't need but I would warn her what he's trying to do.

sootica · 27/02/2016 21:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AyeAmarok · 27/02/2016 21:26

and the truth is he can always buy another house on the street of which there are a few

Genuinely, why do you think he picked yours, specifically?

Don't be dim.

kiki22 · 27/02/2016 21:26

No way. Just no your not desperate to move you want to, he is paying over what he may need to to be 2 streets closer so he can monitor her every move, sabatage all her friendships/relationships, and it will be easier to use the kids as a tool if they can see daddy across the street, your friend doesn't deserve this. I would tell her what he's trying to do.

elfycat · 27/02/2016 21:27

I think he's doing this just to stress her out. I'd bet he'd drop out of the sale later on - maximum stress to her and screw over you - her friend. Double bonus!

Just no. Take a deep breath and tell your estate agent that you will accept no offers from and you do not want offers from him passed on to you.

My parents had to insist that offers from a were never passed onto them. The estate agents, eyeing up an easy sale, insisted my parents HAD to know. No they didn't.

Please just don't. Another, genuine offer will be along.

Or tell your friend to get a restraining order that he's not allowed within so many yards of her... and then sell him the house.

Original poster
Headfulahorlix · 27/02/2016 21:29

Food for thought. Of course all you are saying is relevant. Just cant believe it can be this complex!

OP posts: