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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this out of order to my friend? Difficult dilemma. WWYD?

455 replies

Headfulahorlix · 27/02/2016 20:12

Made a good friend a few years ago. She lives on my street. DCs are friends and we do play dates and baby sit for each other and some times go out for weekends. She moved to this street after her unhappy relationship came to an end and she feels her ex is controlling which I have witnessed and so believe.

I put my house on the market. He has offered me the full asking price.

I am desperate to move.

Would you sell to him in my position?

OP posts:
Grapeeatingweirdo · 27/02/2016 21:04

Are you fucking serious? My God! You know he is controlling, that he was horrible to her and now you want to enable him to try and run her life again.

He sounds dangerous. You should refuse, you will never forgive yourself fully if you put money over her.

You'll find another buyer. I'm sure you are a lovely person and that its just the desperation you feel to move that's making you consider it; but you need to look past that, however hard.

This is not right, something is very wrong here. You already know this.

Tenementfunster · 27/02/2016 21:05

No amount of money worth it.

Flustarhymes · 27/02/2016 21:05

Noooooooooooo. You can't. The poor woman will feel like she's in a goldfish bowl. Please no.

Grapeeatingweirdo · 27/02/2016 21:06

Great advice from SWW, talk to her. Talk to her tonight if you can. She needs to know and she has that right. She can then make an informed choice with regards to how she wants to proceed next.

StrictlyMumDancing · 27/02/2016 21:06

You have two people who have independently said he's a nasty twat. If you accepted it wouldn't be a surprise if he later becomes nasty in order to pay you less for the sale during the process. So for that reason alone I'd say no.

Unhappyexpat · 27/02/2016 21:07

If he lives two streets down there is no practical reason why he would want to move closer.

There are only two possibilities here.

  1. He wants to be close enough to dominate her or
  2. He's hurting her through you, by which I mean he'll either gazump you, screw you over on the purchase or drop out. As a side effect he will destroy your friendship and isolate her further.

Don't do it. It's highly unlikely you will come out unscathed.

Ameliablue · 27/02/2016 21:07

No

Lanark2 · 27/02/2016 21:07

Um no. No way on earth. I might pretend to sell him it, kill him and burn the house with his body in it, but sell him it, no way sinister fucking bastard.

newmumwithquestions · 27/02/2016 21:07

No, and tell her.

Ameliablue · 27/02/2016 21:08

No I wouldn't sell to him.

OhShutUpThomas · 27/02/2016 21:10

What is difficult about this?

You need to get a fucking grip. How are you even considering this?

Shit the bed, I've read some bad stuff on here but this is awful.

Chippednailvarnish · 27/02/2016 21:10

If she is in rented accommodation, sell it to him for £3k more than the asking price and give her the cash so she can move out the day after you have exchanged Grin

If she's the owner don't.

Slowlygettingthehangofthings · 27/02/2016 21:11

No no no don't do it! Don't mention it to your friend (as other posters have said he's clearly doing this to put the wind up her! ) Just turn it down. Don't let his offer of the full asking price tempt you - I doubt he has any intention of buying the house at that price and will either pull out or drop the price massively midway through the process. And either way, both you and the other lady will have lost a valuable friendship.

Also, if he does buy the house, your friend and her DC would probably have to uproot and move again - could you bear that on your conscience?

Please, for your sake and hers, just turn him down. Hes bad news!

BillSykesDog · 27/02/2016 21:11

Do tell her. She might be able to get a restraining order to stop him. In fact, I think he might be trying to do this because he thinks she's on the verge of a restraining order and is trying to stop it. I think it's difficult to get restraining orders for people who live close by.

YellowTulips · 27/02/2016 21:12

You don't describe your circumstances, but tbh I really don't think I could live with myself if I sold to him.

Given he only lives 2 streets away already it's a massive red flag.

NinaSimoneful · 27/02/2016 21:13

It's not a difficult dilemma.
No.

blueemerald · 27/02/2016 21:13

Personally I wouldn't if at all possible, but I would like to express that I feel like you are getting an unduly hard time from some posters. You seem like a kind, caring and conflicted friend. None of these things make you a bad person.

How long has your house been on the market? What has the interest been?

Original poster
Headfulahorlix · 27/02/2016 21:16

My house has been on for a few days but I'd like to move to new area for new job which is about five miles away

OP posts:
ToffeeForEveryone · 27/02/2016 21:17

No, I wouldn't.

How long has your house been on the market and how soon do you need to move?

LettingAgentNightmare · 27/02/2016 21:17

You're not a real friend are you?

You might as well sell to him now as you've proven you don't give a shit and no one needs people like that in their life.

AyeAmarok · 27/02/2016 21:19

5 miles is nothing. I don't think that is a reason to shaft your friend.

nina99ballons · 27/02/2016 21:19

No I wouldn't. I couldn't knowingly ruin other people's lives to better mine. Especially not if the house has only been in a few days.

The fact he wants to move from two streets away to the same road tells you exactly how controlling he is.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 27/02/2016 21:20

No. I wouldn't. There'll be other Possibly better offers.

But if he's determined to get near to her sadly. He'll probably find away

ToffeeForEveryone · 27/02/2016 21:20

Sorry, cross post - if it's just been a few days then no, absolutely not.

Selling to this guy would be one of the worst things that ever happened to your friend. You will get another buyer who isn't a controlling psycho intent on making your friend's life a misery.

AddToBasket · 27/02/2016 21:20

OP, we aren't going to give you a pass to be horrible to your friend. Don't do it. Your friend has trusted you. You will sell to someone else and be a better person.