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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this out of order to my friend? Difficult dilemma. WWYD?

455 replies

Headfulahorlix · 27/02/2016 20:12

Made a good friend a few years ago. She lives on my street. DCs are friends and we do play dates and baby sit for each other and some times go out for weekends. She moved to this street after her unhappy relationship came to an end and she feels her ex is controlling which I have witnessed and so believe.

I put my house on the market. He has offered me the full asking price.

I am desperate to move.

Would you sell to him in my position?

OP posts:
Pannacott · 27/02/2016 20:19

God no! You'd be facilitating his abuse and stalking! As someone else said, could be signing her / her kids death warrant. Gob smacked you'd consider it tbh :S

Foslady · 27/02/2016 20:20

Horrible thing for him to do. Firstly I wouldn't accept the offer, secondly I think that he is just trying to wreck the friendship and would be surprised if he actually went through with the purchase.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 27/02/2016 20:20

No

Aeroflotgirl · 27/02/2016 20:20

There is a good reason why he is offering you full asking. He wants to continue his abusive behaviour to your friend, I coukd not be complicit in that.

Original poster
Headfulahorlix · 27/02/2016 20:21

Shes already told me plenty and without giving too much away another person I know, who doesn't know my friend, has also told me he was horrible to her.

OP posts:
OnlyBuilt4CubanLynx · 27/02/2016 20:21

NO. Absolutely NO.

SmallLegsOrSmallEggs · 27/02/2016 20:21

I wouldn't knowingly do that to someone I didn't like let alone a friend.

Plus I wouldn't trust him not to fuck up.the purchase and/or make the sale a nightmare for you. Controlling twats are generally controlling on other aspects of their life too.

expatinscotland · 27/02/2016 20:21

NO. Not a chance.

allowlsthinkalot · 27/02/2016 20:23

No. I wouldn't do that to my worst enemy.

Goingtobeawesome · 27/02/2016 20:24

He might not actually want the house but be annoyed you're her friend so sees it as a way to annoy you

multivac · 27/02/2016 20:24

Bloody hell, this isn't "difficult". Get a grip, OP.

Arfarfanarf · 27/02/2016 20:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RumAppleGinger · 27/02/2016 20:25

No I wouldn't sell to him and I would tell my friend that he has made an offer but i won't be accepting. Is yours the first house on the street that has gone on the market since your friend moved in?

PollyPocket100 · 27/02/2016 20:25

Absolutely not.

Kidnapped · 27/02/2016 20:26

What is your friend's situation now, OP?

Does she rent or own her house? Is she happy where she is?

If she intends to move soon anyway, then this would be a great time to stitch up the ex. Accept his offer and have your friend move out of her house the day before you complete on yours. Tell him nothing of course.

Elvisrocks · 27/02/2016 20:26

I'm also shocked that you would consider it. In any case, while he may be offering full asking price now, he will most likely try to gazump you. Please don't do this to your friend.

Elvisrocks · 27/02/2016 20:28

Although, if workable, I like Kidnapped's idea!

ricketytickety · 27/02/2016 20:28

nope. I would wait for another buyer. Even if she's renting.

If he's controlling chances are he'll be a nightmare buyer

HeffalumpHistory · 27/02/2016 20:29

Not a chance. I'd be warning her also. So that he can stalk/control her more? If you did & god forbid he did something you would never forgive yourself. I wouldn't even do that to an acquaintance never mind good friend. 2 years or 20 years she is still supposed to be a friend so the time shouldn't be a factor

SweetieDrops · 27/02/2016 20:29

No I wouldn't in those circumstances. If they were amicable and living nearby made it easier for the DCs I would but not if he was using it as a means to intimidate and control his ex.

Didiusfalco · 27/02/2016 20:31

No you can't. Surely you want to be able to sleep at night? Your peace of mind (and hers!) is not worth a bit of extra money. There will be another offer.

gamerchick · 27/02/2016 20:31

Have you told her? She needs to know because even if you don't sell to him another house might crop up.

Buzzardbird · 27/02/2016 20:32

Unanimous then

Wizwo · 27/02/2016 20:32

No. And you must warn her so that she knows he is trying to buy near her - he'll do this with the next house that comes up too.

If he's still trying to do this two years after the relationship ended, he sounds like he could be dangerous.

AcrossthePond55 · 27/02/2016 20:32

I would tell her and see what she says. I wouldn't go so far as to ask her for permission or anything, just "XXX made me an offer on the house, I thought you should know".

Unless she specifically said she didn't care (which I'm pretty sure she won't say), I wouldn't sell to him. But she does deserve to know what he's trying to do as he may try the same thing any time a house goes up for sale on your block. If abuse was part of their divorce, if he has a record for it, she may be able to get some kind of injunction or protective order that will block him from buying near her.

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